Leadership in the Storm! Who You Are Is Revealed in Crucial Moments

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Showing Leadership When It Counts Most

How we show leadership during a crisis drives how our team responds. As I write this, Hurricane Irma is heading towards the Caribbean with a strong likelihood of then turning to Florida. If it follows predictions (which can change at any moment right now) it will travel up through the “spine” of the state, which includes hitting us here in the Orlando area.

I was born and raised in Florida and have lived through MANY a hurricane. I know what to do, when to do it, and whether or not to worry (never).

Panic is Born without Leadership

What I saw Monday concerned me. I was at the grocery store. I went early because I figured no one would be there being Labor Day and all.

Wrong.

It was packed! People were scrambling to buy durable foods and bottled water. I saw one person actually pick up 10 flats of bottled water! That’s 240 bottles! And this was before we even had a serious threat from the storm. I mean, c’mon, this is NOT the apocalypse!

Who is Leading?

I can’t blame them too much. Many people have moved her from other states and have not experienced a lot of hurricanes. They just saw the effects of Hurricane Harvey. In addition, they have people of Facebook, television, and elsewhere churning the waters with descriptions of devastation that Irma will cause.

It IS a time to take precautions. It is a good time to get ready to secure your property as best as you can, make sure you have food, water, batteries, and board games.

Time to Shine

It is also a prime time for leadership to shine.

[tweetthis]During the storm is when Leadership should shine. #BoldlyLead[/tweetthis]

Panic should not be the order of the day. When leaders are calm, it has a cascading effect on those around them. It is critical, then, that leaders stay even keeled and constant both before, in the midst of, and after the storm.

Leaders show concern without the hype. Know what to do, direct others to get things done. Convey a sense of urgency without being frantic.
Leaders take care of others as well as themselves. Make sure your team has opportunity (and means) to secure their property and family.
Good leaders reassure. Let everyone know that every step of the way you have their back.
Effective leaders make sure that things are in place to pick up the pieces after the storm.
Great leaders spread composure and peace in what they do and what they say in these moments.

If you stand to be affected by these storms, what are you doing to be the calm in the storm?

If you aren’t going to be affected, what storms are going around you where you have the opportunity to shine?

Are you experienced with weathering storms? Share some tips here on what you do or write me at psimkins@BoldlyLead.com

Gotta go now. Got some shopping to do!

10 Ways Communication Becomes a Crippling Problem on Your Team

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What We Have Here is a Failure to Communicate

Do you really need to be sold on the importance of communication in the workplace (or anywhere for that matter)?

This is one of my areas of passion. My degree is in Organizational Communications and it included an intensive study of a real organization to observe and comment on its communication practices.

No matter the organization there were two things I see in common in regards to communication.

One is that we tend to think our organization is great at communication.
The other is that we think that until we discover it’s not. We discover it either through a Communications Audit or through trials we experience because communication breaks down.

And it will break down. Trying to stay lean and agile while also fostering growth inevitably leads to breakdowns in communication. We must know where the breakdown occurs and why in order to fix it.

Why Communication Breaks Down.

1.We Think Our Communication is Totally Clear

You, me, everyone of us approach any situation from our own personal point of view. When we are communicating with others, what comes out is not just words. It is also background and knowledge, experiences, and viewpoints. So we talk with words and phrases and sometimes even abbreviations and acronyms that make perfect sense to us but are meaningless to others.

“I don’t know why you don’t get it, I’m made it as clear as can be!”

Been there, done that. Probably you have too. I’ve been on the other side of that too.

Think about how to express the thoughts without the use of jargon. Also think about how your point of view translates to others.

2. Making Assumptions

Along the same lines as clarity is making assumptions.

We assume they understand.

Or that they have the same knowledge set we have.

We may even assume that the other person or people have a certain mindset. I know I have spoken before groups where I made the dangerous assumption that they would be antagonistic. The opposite turned out to be true.

Check your assumptions before initiating conversation. Better yet, ask questions that help clarify or eliminate assumptions you have made.

3. Taking Too Long to Communicate Our Message

You ever get directions from someone who over-explains? They just kind of ramble on and on; usually providing side stories and details and minutiae. It can be hard sometimes to remember or understand the main point of the communication.

Why do people over-explain?

Strangely, I couldn’t find a lot of scientific research on this. I’m sure it’s there, I just didn’t find it. However, I did find plenty of insight on some possible reasons.

Guilt

Anxiety

Feeling Misunderstood

Lying

Another strong reason is that many people feel uncomfortable with silence. So when there is a period of silence they feel they must fill the gap and so they talk even more. Good negotiators know this and often use it as a tactic – the rule is generally the last person to talk loses.

Become your own talented negotiator and seek for win-win communication. Be brief and to the point.

Then shut-up and let them ask for more. If they don’t, they are likely satisfied with the answer. If they do, you get the chance to provide more information for better understanding. Win-win.

4. Not Taking Long Enough

The flip side of taking too long is when we don’t give enough information. This can sometimes be a sign of deception but more often than not it is a sign of what I call “auto-complete”.

We sometimes get a thought process going in our heads that we then start putting in audible words. What happens is that the thoughts in our head complete and our mouth can’t keep up. The result of auto-complete is that the conclusion and sometimes entire thoughts get lost. We THINK we were complete and we were, but only in our minds.

If you have a tendency towards this one way to combat is to ask your audience to confirm their understanding. More specifically, ask where they got lost. That allows you to go back and complete out loud what you completed in your head.

5. Rapid Growth

When an organization experiences a high rate of growth in a short period of time, often effective communication channels become the victim. Usually they weren’t communicating that well to begin with but when you are small it doesn’t seem to matter as much. As growth occurs and more people are thrown in the mix, the lack of designed communication systems becomes glaringly obvious. Conflict abounds, productivity slows, sales get lost, and chaos ensues.

The best fix for this is prevention. At the first signs of growth, be intentional about implementing formal communication systems. I’m not talking about a phone system, I’m talking about making sure there are practices in place to ensure that information is getting shared with the right people. Have a plan yet also be prepared to modify it often.

If you wait until it actually becomes a problem, then you end up having to bring in someone like me to help you repair it. Like everything else, fixing is more expensive than prevention.

6. Emotions

Our communication needs – in fact it must have – emotional content. Emotions provide meaning and emphasis to what would otherwise be just words.

The danger of emotions is when we let them get away from us. Either we are so passionate about our message that we get over-excited or more commonly we allow someone else’s words to emotionally charge us.

Actor and Martial Artist Bruce Lee addressed this while instructing a young student in the movie Enter the Dragon. He tells the student to perform a kick and then criticizes his lack of emotional content. When the student, upset at the criticism, tries again, Bruce chides him that emotional content and anger are not the same thing.

We need emotion to create connection. The wrong emotion or too much emotion prevents connection.

If you are the speaker, make sure your emotion matches the meaning. If you are the listener, try to keep yourself from reacting emotionally at least until you are sure the message is complete. Carefully consider the point before you emotionally react to it.

7. Ego

People who need power will use information as a power source. The purpose of poor communication or a lack of communication is intentional then in order to keep it to themselves. He who has more information than others holds the power is the belief.

There is also a certain ego boost in being the one “in the know”. Obviously, you are revered if you know more than everyone else, right? Right?!

Ken Blanchard says that when people get caught up in their ego it erodes their effectiveness. The combination of false pride and self-doubt gives a person a distorted image of themselves. The result is a very self-centered and self-driven world where you are simply a tool to reach their purpose.

To communicate with the ego-driven person, focus on providing facts. Offer solutions, Give alternatives. Offer cooperation or invite participation. Avoid anything that would seem like a personal attack or assigning blame. Give appropriate compliments. That will help keep the ego-driven person from reacting emotionally.

If you are on the receiving end of communication from the ego, focus on the facts of what they are saying. Ask questions. Don’t allow the strong emotional content to overwhelm you. Try to get specific action items and make sure they are fully understood.

8. Insecurity

Similar to ego, when a person harbors insecurities they tend to communicate less. Either they are not sure of themselves, not sure of the message, or both. Not sharing the message is highly preferable to sharing the message and risk the threat of being criticized or reprimanded.

Reinforce that you value them and the information they have. Ask for their opinion and more importantly thank them for sharing the information. The idea here is to make sharing information more rewarding than the perceived threat.

9. Inconsistent Message

We can be as guilty of this as well as be the victim of this. This is especially a critical point for leaders. Your message must be consistent.

Want buy in to your vision? Communicate it consistently and constantly.

Looking to encourage the team to a performance goal? Measure and report it consistently.

That means you need to be sure of what that message is. If you don’t know, neither will they. This is primarily where this becomes a problem. When a leader is not really sure of what the vision is or where the goal should be, it’s tough to communicate that consistently.

Make sure of your message and then be intentional about it’s communication. Have a plan.

10. No Common Ground

For your message to reach an audience, they have to be able to understand how it relates to what they already know. This is the common ground.

Common ground is personal. Find elements of the message they can relate to. If you are communicating a sales goal, relate it to how it affects the organization AND how it impacts them directly.

Who do you remember as a great communicator? What made them great? What would you duplicate if you could in yourself and others?

Share your thoughts here or write me at psimkins@BoldlyLead.com.

And while you’re writing me, ask for a FREE copy of my e-book “12 Skills that Make You an Extraordinary Listener”.

How Old Do You Have to Be to Be an Unhappy Employee?

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When Do Employees Become Unhappy?

How soon is too soon to be unhappy?

We have lots of research on our hands that show that dissatisfied employees lead to less productive employees, lower customer satisfaction, higher turnover, disengagement, lower morale, disintegrating company culture, and … well, you get the picture.

Knowing that opens a lot of questions. Such as, when and where does that start? No one wakes up one day and over their Triple Venti Half-sweet Non-fat Caramel Macchiato decides that starting today they will be unhappy at work.

Is it just the older workers? Is it these millennials? Is it the whole crew? They were all disloyal, every one of them! (doing my best Humphrey Bogart there).

Before we address that, let me give you a little perspective.

Promises Made

You may remember that feeling you had when you first graduated school. Around 1985 that was me – somewhat. Vaguely fresh out of college will that confidence that all the wonderful education I just got fully prepared me to conquer the world in whatever I chose to do.

I accepted a position as a management trainee with a furniture rental company. It was an 18-month program where I was to train in every phase of store operations. After the training, I would then become an assistant manager in one of the nationwide stores. That was the promise.

Promise Broken

Come 18 months later I am still where I started in credit and collections. I did not get exposure to every phase of the operations. I managed receivables and reduced past due accounts. I wasn’t stuck there because I wasn’t good at it – quite the opposite. I was stuck there because I was very good at it. I took the store from worst to first in the company in receivables with the lowest past due percentage.

But I didn’t sign on to be a collections person.

Be a Team Player

When I spoke with the general manager that they weren’t keeping their end of bargain, I was told I was there because they needed me there. Regardless of whatever promises were made, I would stay in collections as long as I was useful there and I needed to be a “team player” and go along. You ever notice how controlling people use that against you?

So, I became increasingly unhappy. My attitude changed. My performance sank. Receivables became to climb again to unsatisfactory levels.

I was given an ultimatum. I had 30 days to bring things back where they were. An impossible task but I tried. My heart wasn’t in it, however, and I fell short. I was fired.

I was 26.

Is 35 Too Early?

It’s one time I am not proud to be ahead of the curve. Very few become unhappy in the work in their mid-20s – unless they are generally unhappy anyway. Yeah, they exist.

According to a recent study cited in Bloomberg News, many start hating their jobs at age 35. That is about the age of the earliest Millennials. But it doesn’t stop there, It also includes Generation X and late Baby Boomers as well. The study showed that groups older than that also became increasingly unhappy in their work.

Was it because their job sucked? No, it was because their workplace sucked. One interviewee for the study reported that they felt “performance managed to death” and they were unappreciated and unloved.

One in Six Are Discontented

The survey showed that 1 in 6 in the 35 year old age range reported feelings of discontent, about half as many as those of younger. Explanations varied but centered on lack of appreciation from their boss and a lack of friendly relationships at work. Older employees, usually in the 50 year range, said they felt they were being pushed aside for younger employees.

The problem, then, appears to be cross-generational and cross-cultural. If the problem isn’t Millennials and it isn’t an ethnic culture and it isn’t work ethic, where does the problem lie?

Ten Reasons People Hate Their Job

Author Liz Ryan writing in Forbes Magazine says the top 10 reasons hate their jobs are:

They are not respected.
Management fails to equip them properly for the job.
There is a lack of consideration for their personal life.
Their boss is a tyrant.
They are tired of being lied to.
It’s hard to believe their boss will do the right thing.
Politics in the workplace make it unpleasant.
They feel underpaid and overworked.
Employees feel they are making no progress, both in their careers and projects.
The employee must be constantly on alert because the wrong word or action sends them out the door.

When employees experience these feelings they become unhappy. And we already talked about where that leads.

Solving the Unhappy Employee

The critical question becomes what to do about it? They are unhappy and that downward spiral is ahead. How do I make them happy?

You don’t. Happiness is not your job.

You can, however, create an environment in which an employee can create their own happiness or at least enough satisfaction to become productive again.

Three Ways to Help Employees Become Happy

Have a One-on-One Conversation.: It’s not a time for a reprimand or “counseling session” or even a coaching session. It’s time to ask questions and listen. Discover what is creating the discontent or unhappiness. Don’t argue the points or try to counter. Just ask probing questions and listen. If you are stuck with probing questions to ask, simply use something similar to “That’s interesting. Tell me more.”
Regular Check Ups: Set a reminder on your calendar to follow up with the employee every week for a few months. Simply check in and see how they are doing. What’s new and what’s changed. The follow up is critical because it goes a step beyond the standard. Think about it. How many times have you had a meeting and nothing came out of it and nothing happened. It’s important you don’t let that happen here.
Catch Them in the Act: Intentionally try to catch them doing something good. Excellent work, a great attitude, over the top cooperation with a team. Anything they can do well that you can notice. Remember that one of the things that made many people unhappy with their jobs was a lack of appreciation.

What jobs did you have where you started off well and grew unhappy with it? How did you handle the change? What do you do with a unhappy employee now?

Share your thoughts here or email me at psimkins@BoldlyLead.com.

OH! If you email me you can also get a FREE copy of my e-book 15 Innovative Ways to Show Employees You Care Without Breaking the Bank. it provides some excellent proven methods for creating connections with your employees at minimal or no cost. If you want to start building engagement, you want this book to help establish those channels of caring.

Are You Listening? Six Quick Tips to Be a Better At It.

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Effective Listening Helps the Bad Become Good and the Good Become Better

Are You Great at Listening?

Most people think they are great listeners. Multiple studies however have shown that many significantly overrate their ability to listen effectively.

So let’s start by making the concession that you likely believe you are a good or excellent listener.

Listening Quiz

It is probably a good idea to confirm that. Just to make sure. Answer this quick quiz to see how you rate. Answer each question with either Always, Sometimes, Rarely, or Never.

Be tough on yourself here with your ratings. If people have to ask you to pay attention to them, for example, then you would probably rate yourself low on #2 despite your strong feelings that you do pay attention.

I allow a speaker to finish without interrupting
I focus only on the speaker and avoid distractions
I don’t get upset or agitated when when I disagree with the speaker
I try to be interested in what the speaker is saying
I work at retaining important facts from the speaker
I repeat the details to make sure I understand them

Now, give yourself four points for each Always, three points for each Sometimes, two for each Rarely, and one for each Never.

Quiz Results

If you score below 18 points, then you likely are not as good a listener as you believe you are.

If you discovered you are not as good as you thought, you are in good company. As I mentioned earlier, most people feel they are good to excellent listeners but the studies show that actually almost all of us are poor listeners. It gets worse as we get older and has nothing to do with our physical abilities. It has to do with our environment.

We Are Not Naturally Good Listeners

I freely admit that I am not naturally a good listener. Attribute that to whatever you want. That I like to talk and be heard. That I am often opinionated. Because I make assumptions and pursue them. Or simply that I think I know more than the speaker.

The biggest barriers to effective listening (particularly in the business community) are environmental distractions such cell phone, email, other demands for attention and preparing a reply to the speaker’s message. The second one is huge. Most of us feel we must reply immediately to whatever someone says. In fact, the late Stephen Covey once said

“Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply.”

Listening IS Learnable

Knowing that I am not naturally a good listener, I also know I need to intentionally work at listening more carefully and become better at it.

Perhaps that is the good news in all this. Whether you rated as a good or poor listener, it is simple (but not easy) to become a better listener than you are now.

[tweetthis]It is simple (but not easy) to become a better listener than you are now.[/tweetthis]

Critical Leadership Skill

As a leader, this is a critical skill. James E. Lillie, former CEO of Jarden Corporation, says it is THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILL a leader must have. So does current CEO Dave Abney of UPS. And former Amgen CEO Kevin Sharer.

What’s the value of listening for a leader?

Listening shows you care
It allows you to become engaged with your employees
It develops your empathy
It fosters understanding
You can develop your emotional intelligence
Listening builds trust

You can read more about the value of listening for leaders here.

So the excellent listener can become the excellent leader. It therefore pays to be intentional about our listening skills.

Six Quick Tips for Listening Better

That’s all well and good, but how do you go about becoming a better listener? Start by focusing on some basic techniques. Again, they are simple but not necessarily easy.

1. Keep Your Focus on the Speaker

Look at them. Make eye contact. It not only gets you to keep your attention on them but also allows you to pick up the non-verbal cues that add context and meaning to their words. A 1981 study showed that only 7% of our understanding comes from words. The rest comes from how we say it and the perception that comes from our interpretation of non-verbal behavior.

2. Avoid Distractions

Put your phone down or in your pocket. Turn away from the computer keyboard. Stop whatever else you were doing. People want to believe they can multi-task – that they can listen and do some work or check email at the same time – but the research actually tells us that we are ALL lousy multi-taskers. We aren’t designed for it. Pay attention to the person who is speaking.

3. Don’t Be a Distraction Yourself

For one, don’t interrupt. It shows a lack of respect for the speaker and what they have to say. Usually we interrupt because we are so anxious to insert our thoughts or opinions. As a result, we never fully understand the speaker’s intent.
Along the same lines, don’t change the subject. Hijacking their message to pursue something else again insinuates that their message – and by extension they – doesn’t matter.

4. Encourage the Speaker

Using small acknowledgements like “uh-huh!“, “I see.“, “go on“, “tell me more” and other similar interjections affirms to the speaker that we are listening and encouraging them to continue. If you are going to hear the message, why not hear all of it?

5. Manage Your Emotions

When we allow ourselves to react to words or thoughts, especially when they are counter to our own opinions, we significantly diminish our ability to understand. It’s kind of like a faucet handle. As we react emotionally, we turn that faucet handle and the flow of water becomes less and less until it is just a trickle. Then eventually not at all. Emotional content is necessary and so we need to be careful that it doesn’t overtake us.

If you want to see evidence of this, look at discussions of current events on social media like Facebook. Most participants react emotionally instead of responding thoughtfully. As a result, no one understands, no new thoughts are shared, and tensions run high. Friendships and connections are lost.

6. Confirm Understanding

Create a comprehension sandwich. When the speaker finishes, pause. Your first words after that should be “What I understand you to say is…” followed by a paraphrase of their message. Then finish by asking “Is that correct?” The lead-in helps set the stage that you are seeking understanding and not providing a counterpoint. The paraphrase helps to put it into your own words to internalize the message. The finish allows the speaker to confirm your understanding or improve your understanding.

For big bonus points, your next response after understanding is achieved is not to make a statement but to ask a question. It allows the speaker to further share their thoughts and your learn and understand even more.

Listening as Leaders

As a leader, we need information and input. We won’t get it when we are talking but get all we need when we are listening.

What listening skill do others praise you for? Which skill do you pride yourself on? Where do you need the greatest improvement?

Share your thoughts here or email me at psimkins@BoldlyLead.com.

If you email me you can also get a FREE copy of my e-book 15 Innovative Ways to Show Employees You Care Without Breaking the Bank. it provides some excellent proven methods for creating connections with your employees at minimal or no cost. If you want to start building engagement, you want this book to help establish those channels of caring.

Did Google Just Have a Major Leadership Fail?

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Does Leadership Promote Inclusiveness at All Costs?

Google took action on Monday to fire an engineer who expressed concern over some of Google’s policies. The employee posted a memo about gender balance and inclusivity. The CEO of Google, Sundar Pinchai, said that it the memo from the engineer expressed “gender stereotypes” that had no place in Google’s culture.

Leadership Considers All Angles

Before we condemn the engineer as racist and misogynist, it’s important to have a good picture of what as said. We also need to ask some serious questions that it brings up about company culture and expression of viewpoints.

The internal memo, written by engineer James Damore, was about 10 pages long and cited many sources. The content, minus some graphics, was posted by Gizmodo here. In the memo, titled Google’s Ideological Echo Chamber, Damore expressed concern that some of the policies of Google targeted towards diversity and inclusiveness possibly went too far. He focused primarily on gender differences. Damore considered whether they were perhaps trying to overcome natural differences in the sexes. He said, “We need to stop assuming that gender gaps imply sexism.” He cited sources that supposedly establish definitive differences that would prevent a perfect balance of sexes in some technical fields.

This is NOT About the Politics of Inclusiveness

I do not intend to debate the merits of diversity and inclusiveness, nor whether arguments against it are valid. In fact, Damore himself stated that he is not opposed to diversity in and of itself.

Damore’s biggest concern was while promoting diversity leaders may have actually created a culture of shaming that suppresses points of view contrary to leadership’s position.

He cited a political bias that on the one hand promoted freedom from offense and psychological safety while on the other hand shamed opposition into silence, providing the opposite of psychological safety.

Ideological Echo Chamber

The result, Damore said, is an “ideological echo chamber” where some topics were too sacred to be discussed openly.

Further, according to Damore, is what happens is that Google resorts to discrimination the other way to battle perceived discrimination. Again, I don’t plan to debate that.

Danielle Brown, the new VP of Diversity, Integrity, and Compliance for Google, issued a response to Google employees in counterpoint to Damore’s memo. In it, Brown specifically said that the memo promoted “incorrect assumptions about gender”. The most compelling part of her response, and the most puzzling, was this:

“Part of building an open, inclusive environment means fostering a culture in which those with alternative views, including different political views, feel safe sharing their opinions. But that discourse needs to work alongside the principles of equal employment found in our Code of Conduct, policies, and anti-discrimination laws.”

Despite that, or perhaps because of that, on Monday it was announced that Damore was terminated by Google for “violating the company code of conduct” by “perpetuating gender stereotypes”. For Damore’s part, he is currently considering his legal options.

Employment at Will

Most states, including California where Google is located, are “employment-at-will” states however. That means, according to Jennifer Englert, Managing Partner of The Orlando Law Group, that

“..a company can fire you for anything as long as it is not a discriminatory reason. Many people get confused about what discriminatory reasons are but they would be discriminating based upon race sex pregnancy or a few other very limited protected classes. Your beliefs about these things and not agreeing with them are not considered discriminatory in most cases.”

So basically it appears that first amendment rights do not really exist in the workplace. Disagreeing with company policy doesn’t qualify you as being discriminated against, no matter how well-supported your thoughts (and I am not saying they necessarily are in this case).

What This Means for Leaders

For us, the real questions to explore here is to what level do leaders encourage or suppress opposing viewpoints on company policy? Where is the danger to the effective development of corporate culture? Does silencing one faction create a chilling effect for others?