Tag: coaching

Why I Love the Law of Sacrifice and Why You Should Too!

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Having It All Together … Right!

You probably know someone who seems to always have it together.  They are everywhere and in everything. To the naked eye they always seem to excel at everything they do.  

There is no slowing down! Is there a committee? They’re on it. Have an event that needs organizing? Ready to go! They are raising 55 children and spent quality time with each of them. Working two full-time jobs. Volunteer at the local shelter. Raising money to fight some disease. Writing a book. And have the happiest spouse in the world.

Social media amplifies this picture. Not only do we get descriptions but also vivid pictures of their perfect life, perfect children, perfect job, and idyllic state of mind.

In reality, there are parts of their lives that are neglected. That’s not a maybe, it’s a certainty. The picture we see, often filled in with our own perceptions, is a flawed photo.  I exaggerated the description above intentionally because that’s what we often do when we think about those high achieving types. We make them bigger than they are. Then we compare ourselves to them, imagining that they have everything in their perfect life while our lives are hollow shells full of meaningless events and a cesspool of problems.  It’s unfair!

The law of sacrifice cannot be violated

It’s also unreal.  The truth is that people who seem to have it together are not living perfect lives.  They may be accomplishing more than we are right now, but that’s not because they have it all together.  It’s not because they are necessarily more talented than we are; in fact, often they may be less talented.  And they have problems too, they just don’t share them around as much as some others do. THEY KNOW THAT EVERY THOUGHT THAT HITS THEIR HEAD DOESN’T HAVE TO HIT SOCIAL MEDIA!

Applying the Law

But what they really have that helps them succeed is an good understanding and effective application of the Law of Sacrifice.  As one of my mentors John Maxwell says, “You must give up to go up“.  You have to let go of some things in order to have other better things.

That’s a scary prospect for many of us and perhaps even a little depressing.  When we think about the Law of Sacrifice or giving up, we picture big things.  We can become a CEO but our family life is non-existent. If we want to make a lot of money we have to get rid of our moral compass.

Again, it’s that penchant for exaggeration.  And it’s also good old resistance helping us find reasons to not make any changes.

Simplicity in the law of Sacrifice

Even a time turner can't save you from the Law of SacrificeIn truth, the Law of Sacrifice is actually pretty simple. It’s all about priorities. Every single one of us has the same 24 hours in a day and seven days in a week. Barring Hermione Granger passing down her Time Turner to us (which you can actually buy) we cannot change that restriction on our lives.

That being the case, we change what we can. If we can’t change time, we change how we invest our time. Most of what takes up our time aren’t major things, they are trivial things. Therefore, most of the sacrifices we have to make are not between two high priorities, but between a high priority and a low priority.

Giving Up Good for Better

You actually look at giving up lesser things in order to get greater things.  You sacrifice an hour of television time every day in order to read a personal growth book.  Give up a couple of free evenings each week to work on a master’s degree.  When you learn to really apply the Law of Sacrifice, what you are really doing is simply learning to

Say No to the Good So You Can Say Yes to the Best

My father excelled in the credit union business during his career.  He was President and CEO of several credit unions over the span of many years and also was a high demand consultant to credit unions nationwide for many years after that.  He was a pioneer in the industry. We have the largest ATM network in the country due to his efforts.

To get there, he had to spend long hours working. He gave up some evenings of watching TV to earn a GED and then a degree.  Yet, he was never an absentee husband or father.  He coached Drum Corps and Little League.  He was a Scoutmaster. We went on trips.  Dad was at dance recitals for my sister.  While there were sacrifices to reach the level he achieved the sacrifices were giving up lesser things to get those greater things.  He did not give up one great thing to achieve another. Was he perfect? Did he mess up the choices sometimes? Certainly. Yet he made the decision and honored the commitment.

Obey the Law and Love It

Know that you have to give up to go up. The Law of Sacrifice is alive and well and it is immutable.

Embrace that. While it sounds like you are being deprived you are actually being set free. When you apply the Law of Sacrifice and set your priorities it frees you from what isn’t a priority. When you shape your schedule around those things that are priorities, it frees you up to say no to scheduling lesser priorities.

Some laws are intended to provide liberty instead of tyranny. When you apply the Law of Sacrifice there will be hard choices to make. But the good news is that the choice is always yours.

do you have trouble finding clarity on your priorities? Not sure where to start? contact me today for a free discovery strategy session.

The Dirty Secret of the Multitasking Leader and Why You Should Stop

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This Multitasking Leader Comes to a Screeching Halt

About few years ago, my son and I were driving home from a Boy Scout meeting.  We turned through an intersection and proceeded a few hundred yards forward when I looked down to change the radio station.  At the same time, the car in front of me decided suddenly that they wanted to turn right into a parking lot and hit their brakes.  Lots of noise later, they have a beat up rear-end and my car is totaled.  Thankfully, no one was hurt. 

A Do Everything World

woman trying to multitask with two phonesWe all do it.  Folding laundry and watching TV.  Driving and changing the radio station.  Texting on your smartphone while talking to an employee.  Sitting in a meeting and sending an email.  Trying to do more than one thing at the same time because we don’t think there are enough hours in the day.  It’s called Multitasking and it is the biggest time waster of all!

“Wait“, you might say, “multitasking is a critical part of functioning in work and life today!  How can you say that it is a time waster?“

Because it is. The evidence is mounting and irrefutable.

And you need to stop.

The Overwhelming Case Against Multitasking

A multitasking leader may argue that multitasking is essential. You think you need to be able to do multiple things at once to get everything done. Too many hours per day are already spent at work, so you may believe that if you don’t multitask that you will spend even more time and get few things done.

But numerous research studies suggest that actually the opposite is true. It is BECAUSE you are multitasking that you aren’t getting things done! Here are some of the more recent studies and the conclusions they have made about why multitasking is detrimental.

  • You are MORE EASILY DISTRACTED. (Stanford Study)
  • Your MEMORY GETS WORSE. (same as above)
  • You become more ANXIOUS AND DEPRESSED (Plos One)
  • It actually makes you LESS EFFICIENT AND LOWERS PRODUCTIVITY (JOEP Vol. 27 Issue 4)
  • Evidence shows more mistakes are made when multitasking instead of focused work.

Your Bad Multitasking Self

The idea is that if we are multitasking then we are working on multiple things at the same time, juggling everything and keeping things going.  

But that’s not what happens.  In most cases what happens is it simply means that you are doing multiple things badly.

It doesn’t help that multitasking is encouraged by many employers today.  First, many companies advertise jobs where they specifically state in the job requirements that they want someone who can effectively multitask.  I guess my question is, how exactly do they measure that?  

Secondly, with layoffs and streamlining, employers tell the survivors they must learn to do more with less, which unfortunately includes less staff.  But not less work.  While they don’t explicitly say it, they expect you to pick up all the slack and still do it within the same time frames.  So your choices at either to put in twice as much time or “multitask”.

You are not Multitasking

multitasking in WindowsFurther, understand that what you are doing is not actually multitasking.  

It is actually just task-switching.  

What it reminds me of is the Microsoft Windows operating system on computers.  Early versions of Windows offered a way to jump between tasks. You could still only run one thing at a time, but you could jump between applications.  That was called task-switching. It wasn’t until later versions where Windows would allow you to actually run multiple applications at the same time.  

What we do when we allegedly multitask is the first one – we are simply task-switching.  Problem is, we aren’t a computer with an operating system designed to do that, so we have a lot more trouble than Windows did jumping from one task to another.  And that’s saying something.

Proof that multitasking takes longer

We are actually designed to focus on one thing at a time.  Again, lots of research to support this.  Health Magazine cites a 2013 University of Utah study that found the better you thought you were at multitasking, the worse you actually were.

However, you may believe you are an excellent multitasking leader. As I have presented this information to groups in the past, there many in the crowd who, despite the overwhelming evidence, maintain that they are an excellent multitasker.

Let’s put that to the test

This test is derived from Dave Crenshaw, author of The Myth of Multitasking. 

Part 1

  1. multitasking leader test part 1Get out a sheet of paper and lay it down so it is wider than it is high (landscape style).
  2. Draw four lines across the paper. 
  3. Get someone to time you on this. On the first line write “multitasking is a thief“. On the second line write the numbers 1-21. Record the time it took you to do both tasks one after the other. It should be about 30 seconds or less.

Part 2

  1. multitasking leader test part 2On the next two lines you will do the same thing, again being timed. 
  2. This time, you will write a letter on line 3 and then a number on line 4, then back to line 3 and another letter and then a number on line 4.
  3. Do this until done. Record your time.

You should find that A) it took you much longer, B) you likely made a mistake, and C) it was more stressful.

The Conclusion

In summary, you suck at multitasking.  

And so do I and so does everyone else.

So, if you were doing something else while you were reading this, stop.

Now leave your comments and thoughts.

Okay, now you’re done.  Go back to that other thing.

 

How Leaders Leverage Reflective Experience to Improve Their Teams

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Experience Happens

You have probably heard it said hundreds if not thousands of times during your life.

Experience is the best teacher.

Every day, from the moment you rise until you put your head on the pillow, you are going through a series of experiences.  Some experiences are what we would call good; nice things happen, we feel happy about it.  Others….not so much.

Mistakes are painful when they happen, but years later a
collection of mistakes is what is called experience.
-Denis Waitley

Here’s the thing:  if every day we ALL have experiences then why is it that most of us don’t get any smarter?

More Than Experience

someecards.com - They say experience is the best teacher. That's why I'm so smart. I've screwed everything up at least twice.If experience were truly the best teacher, then would it not logically follow that each of us would be getting smarter every day and would never repeat the same mistakes because our experience would have taught us better?  Is that what happens in your life?  Is that what happens around you?

You know what I am talking about, the people who keep making the same mistake they made yesterday and the day before, getting the same results, and not getting that it ain’t gonna work that way.  Why?  

If experience is the best teacher, then they should have already learned not to do that again.

I have to admit to being hard headed this way sometimes.  I’ll do the same dumb thing over and over again, somehow expecting different results.  I might rationalize it, excuse it, or simply learn the wrong lesson from previous experience.  I’m not an idiot, I am a fairly bright guy.  

Why isn’t experience teaching me anything?

Reflective Experience is the Plus

The truth is that experience alone is no kind of teacher at all.  It is REFLECTIVE EXPERIENCE that really makes the difference.  It is how we analyze what we experience that allows us to draw the appropriate conclusions and lessons from what happens to us and engage in positive behaviors to prevent it from happening again.  

Reflection needs to be timely; it needs to happen within a short period of time after the experience.  It should not be rushed.  The best approach is usually to spend a little time at the end of the day thinking about what good things happened, what not so good things happened, and examining them.   Ask questions about each experience:

  1. What was good (or not so good) about it?
  2. Who was involved?
  3. What was the outcome?
  4. Was that the outcome I anticipated?
  5. What would have been a better or ideal outcome?
  6. Why did it happen that way?
  7. What can I do differently to change the outcome?
  8. How can I use this to add value to someone else?

Reflective experience from others

experience can be painful, but reflective experience helps us learn the lessons.The last question leads to the last point.  As the Denis Waitley quote said above, mistakes are painful.  So even if we are learning from our mistakes, we still have to go through the pain.  Just a show of hands out there,
who likes to go through pain?

Yeah, didn’t think so.

So how can we avoid the pain?  Simply by learning from others experience.  In fact, I believe that other people’s experience can be absolutely the best teacher for us.  Examining the experiences of others allows us to be more evaluative about it because our minds are not clouded by emotion or pain.  We can assess the decisions, the process, and the outcomes and attempt to come up with practical applications to help prevent it from occurring in OUR lives.

One of the best ways to to allow people to share stories with you.  Stories allow experiences to be personalized; we connect with them better and connect with the people involved.  Reading the biographies (and autobiographies) of people we admire also is an excellent way to do this.  If they have any level of transparency, they will readily share their mistakes in their stories and we can derive great lessons from people we know to be accomplished persons.

How the Leader Uses Reflective Experience

First, the leader uses reflective experience to for their own improvement. You can’t take others anywhere unless you are prepared to go there yourself. Therefore, a leaders learns from their failures as well as their successes. They own up to failure, analyze it, and derive the lesson from it. They examine the experiences of others and derive the lessons as well.

And there is a lesson to be had. No matter how traumatic or painful, there is a lesson there. It may take some searching. You may have to spend time grieving first. But there is a lesson to be had.

Finally, great leaders help guide their team in gaining reflective experience. They help and encourage their team to grow. Nothing is a crisis, only a lesson.

Action Plan:

  1. How are you going to implement regular reflection on your experiences?
  2. Pick at least two people that you want to learn from this month.  Get books about them, publications, web sites about them, or just sit down over coffee (or drinks) and talk to them.  Make notes on what you learn

Need your guidance in learning the lessons of reflective experience? Want to share how reflecting on experiences has helped you? Contact me at 321-355-2442 or psimkins(at)BoldlyLead.com today!

Why What Many People Think About Leadership is Wrong

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05Managers or Leaders

comparing management and leadership shows the differencesIf you listen to how many people talk about leadership, one thing becomes clear. They don’t really know what leadership is. You may hear them talk about someone being promoted or hired into a position of leadership.

That also tells us that many people put management and leadership in the same bundle.  When people say that the leader should be finding new opportunities for the team and focus more on improving process, they are really saying that these are behaviors they would like to see in their managers that obviously they aren’t seeing. But it’s not leadership.

Remember the simple formula:

managers are about process, leaders are about people.

So seeking new opportunities and improving process, making life easier for employees; those are the job of the manager.  Equipping, empowering, encouraging, motivating, and growing are the roles of the leader.

That said, to be a truly effective manager you must also be an effective leader.  In fact, perhaps what employees are really telling us is that they would like to see their managers both be more proactive in their management roles but also would like to see them be better leaders than they are.

Leaders are Grown

I mentioned earlier that leaders have a responsibility to grow their followers. It’s an enormous responsibility. But for a leader to grow others, they must first grow themselves.  You cannot give what you don’t have to give.  I think leaders are recognizing this more and more.  A Pew Research survey asked people what they think they need the most in order to be better equipped for the jobs.   What were the top answers?

Interpersonal skills. Communication skills. In other words,

Leadership SKILLS

The challenge is that we can’t just throw a band aid on it. Offering one training course won’t do it. Sending someone to  a conference isn’t enough. Giving them a book to read will not make them any more of an effective leader than sitting in a boat makes you a good sailor.

Leaders Sail the Waters Daily

leadership is about growing dailyWhile sitting in the boat you are surrounded by the tools you need to sail, but you must first gain knowledge about sailing.  You must spend time developing and applying the skills to sail. Knowing how to gauge the wind. Navigating the water. Determining course. Bringing all elements in line with moving in the desired direction on the water.  You must know how to trim the sails and handle the helm. How to coordinate the crew and change direction as the sea and wind changes to keep the ship on course.  You must be mentored by a more experienced sailor.  You also must learn from your mistakes on the water.  And you must do all of this day in and day out to become the sailor you need to be. The sailor you are meant to be.

If you are not engaged DAILY in developing your leadership skills, the growth necessary to become an excellent leader will simply not occur. At best it will be haphazard and slow.  

For optimal leadership growth, it needs to be

  • Daily –  you must do something every day to develop your skills
  • Intentional – you must have a plan for the skills you need to develop and how you will develop them
  • Scheduled – you must set aside time on your calendar for it; otherwise any excuse will help you avoid it
  • Guided – Someone needs to help you see and navigate the process; like a coach or mentor
  • Progressive – build on a skill one by one; don’t attempt to master anything in a day

Spend as much (if not more) time on developing yourself and your people as you do your business.  When you do, you will be surprised to find how many of the other process-oriented problems will take care of themselves.

Not sure how to start on your intentional leadership journey? Call me Today for a FREE discovery Strategy session at 321-355-2442 or email me.

Here’s some ways to get started

  1. Identify three skills you need to develop further.  Remember to work from a position of strength and not weakness; in other words, identify your three strongest skills and seek to make them better. I can help you with this.
  2. Pick the one you want to start on.  Locate resources to help you develop that skill and secure them.
  3. Set aside time on your calendar DAILY to work on it.  It should be the same time every day.  Guard it ruthlessly; let nothing short of a client need or spurting blood interrupt it.
  4. Keep me posted on how you’re doing.  I want to hear your success stories and your challenges.

Creating High Performing Teams: Why Empowerment Means Engagement

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Empowerment is a Win-Win

Empowerment helps you get Wow resultsWhat would your life be like if all of your employees were a high-producing sales force and an outstanding customer service staff rolled into one? 

What if you could take a day off, confident that effective work would be done. Problems would be solved without you having to step in?

It’s not just a dream, it’s what happens when you practice empowerment.

It Starts with Hiring Smart

Years ago, I started a career counseling business.  One of my bragging points I used to say was that I hired people smarter than me.

Call it karma or whatever, I later took a job with a company called Sherikon that specialized in government service contracts; in fact it was their lifeblood.  It was a private company and the owner/president, Ed Fernandez, was a great presence and leader.  He used to constantly brag that the success of his company was that he hired people smarter than him and then got out of their way and let them do their job!

It’s Also What You Do AFTER You Hire Smart

That’s not the complete story, however.  Not only did he hire people smarter than him (or so he says) but he also equipped them and empowered them to do their jobs for the welfare of the organization. And that’s important.

Here’s how he did it. They lived and breathed on government contracts. Therefore I and every other new hire attended a multi-day training course on how to seek out, pursue, bid, and secure government contracts.

I found out that every single employee in the company was put through that training. Line workers, administrative assistants, all the way up (and down) the ladder.  EVERYONE.

Equip and Send

Not only that, but after we completed the training we were told that we were AUTHORIZED to go out and get contracts. If we did, then we would be placed on the work for that contract and if possible trained to be the project manager.  So there was not only benefits for the organization but the individual employee as well.

That’s what we want as well: every single employee working for the welfare of the organization. Whether through increased sales, outstanding customer service, or top-level efficiency.  And all without us having to put our fingers in.

Empowerment Starts with Building Believers

Empowerment Builds believersZig Ziglar used to say you need the mindset that the Sales Department is not our whole company, but our whole company is the sales department. Every employee from the janitor to the CEO emulates the values and speaks the gospel of the organization. They represent that in the way to they speak to EVERY SINGLE CALLER and customer.

Here’s the catch.

Your employees can only effectively represent the organization IF they understand it’s values and have bought into it. IF they are provided with the tools they need to communicate the message. Only IF they KNOW they are given the authority to set the stage for sales, provide over the top service, and solve problems. No one can represent effectively and consistently what they don’t understand and don’t believe.

How Successful Leaders Empower Their Team

  • Model Expected Behavior – Demonstrate the behavior you desire.  Do as I say and not as I do did not work when you were a kid and it won’t work with your team.  You must daily model whatever behaviors you expect from them.
  • Set Expectations – This is critical. You must let them know exactly what you expect from them. Without this, it is almost impossible for them to measure up and you will be disappointed. So will they and they won’t try again.
  • Equip Them to Do It – Provide them with what they need to do the job.  You can’t just say, “yeah, go out and get government contracts” and not train them on how to find them, bid on them, and secure them.
  • Go Hands Free – If you are the person who has to have their fingers in every pie or have total control then you are not really empowering people. In addition, you are not going to get the results you want.  You have to be able to let go of things. This is the hardest thing for entrepreneurs to do. They spend so much time being involved in everything out of necessity, it’s hard to let go when it’s no longer practical or desirable. Remember the objective here is not just benefit the organization or the employee but you as well.

Empowerment is always a win-win situation. Employees who are empowered are more engaged. Therefore they are more productive. The organization wins, they win, and the customer wins.

And you get a more peace of mind and perhaps even a little more time on your schedule.

I would love to hear how you or your organization empowers their employees. Leave your comments here or drop me a line at psimkins(at)BoldlyLead.com.

And HEY, why not get a copy of my e-Book 15 Innovative Ways to Show Employees You Care! It’s my gift to you. Get it now!

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