Tag: coaching

How Setting Boundaries Works with the Lone Wolf

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Boundaries Make the Team and Make the Player

Leaders help make people more productive by setting boundaries for work. Call them expectations, guidance, or whatever other word you choose to use there; except limits – don’t ever use limits. It seems like semantics but it’s not. Limits are perceived as repressive while boundaries or expectations are seen as guiding. Words matter.

Boundaries with the Lone Wolf

A lone wolf on the prairie. Working with a Lone Wolf requires boundaries.Boundaries are especially useful when dealing with the lone wolf team member. Every leader will encounter a lone wolf at one time or another in your journey. You probably recognize the type. They are part of your team yet seem to do their best work when left alone. The lone wolf may likely get along with the other team members but doesn’t seem to do well at either delegating or sharing workload. They are not hostile to others but just prefer to do their part and get it done. The benefit of this is that they are usually hard workers and simply get the job done. As a leader it is inevitable you will encounter at least one lone wolf on your team.

My Lone Wolf Story

One that sticks out for me was someone I worked with on a volunteer team; in fact specifically it was Cub Scouts. Volunteer teams are always a challenge anyway. It’s like herding cats. You want to really test the mettle of a potential leader observe them with a group of volunteers.

Derby Crisis

A collection of Pinewood Derby cars ready to race.We had our annual Pinewood Derby coming up less than a month away. This is where the boys between the ages of 6 and 11 make their own little race car out of a small block of pinewood and hold races on a track made for that purpose. It’s a big deal for them and a lot of fun.

The derby chair got overwhelmed and quit. Cancelling the derby was out of the question. So we quickly put together a committee and I was asked to take the lead. We compiled our timeline and our list of things that had to be done. One of the members of this team was my lone wolf. I remembered from previous experiences that when this person was teamed with others to do something she typically did it herself in her own way. It got done quickly and effectively but it was primarily her doing it. For this project she agreed to take on securing the trophies and awards for the derby winners.

Using Boundaries for Results

I COULD have insisted that she work with a teammate to get the work done. After all, we have to think about backup. We have to worry about training someone to do it next year. There are many arguments about why I SHOULD have insisted she work with a team. The one argument against was that she would end up doing it herself anyway and frustrating any team members who wanted to do something. Truthfully, most of them were content to let her do the work – remember, volunteers.

What I did was simply set boundaries for her. I told Jenny (not her real name) what the expectations were as to the type and levels of awards we wanted. She was given a budget. Jenny was given a deadline. And then I set her loose.

You can probably already guess at the outcome. Jenny was done well before the deadline. She was on budget. The trophies and awards were perfect. And overall the derby was a success. Everyone had a great time!

Boundaries Make Sense

It seems counter-intuitive as a leader on the surface. Our job is to get people to work together towards a goal, right? Yet if you look at it, she WAS part of a team and she DID work towards a common goal. I felt that she could best do that in this circumstance by being given guidelines and allowed to do it her way.

Boundaries Make Freedom

The boundaries didn’t tie her down; just the opposite. The boundaries allowed her the freedom to work the way that she worked best. And yet at the same time, the boundaries ensured that the results were consistent with what we needed even if it wasn’t exactly the way I would have done it. If you are working with a lone wolf, sometimes the worst thing you can do is try to make them be something they are not. It is often best to leverage the way they work and how they work to meet the immediate need.

Boundaries work with not just the lone wolf but with everyone on the team. Author and coach Dr. Henry Cloud once wrote that

Every human being must have boundaries in order to have successful relationships or a successful performance in life.

So we set boundaries for teams, for individuals, and as leaders we especially set them for ourselves. It works for the lone wolf, it works for us too.

Unsure about where the boundaries are or how to set them? I can help. Contact me at psimkins(at)BoldlyLead.com to schedule a FREE Discovery Strategy Session.

How Gratitude Impacts Your Leadership and Team Performance

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A Leader’s Gratitude Makes the Difference

Can we be thankful but not really grateful?

As we enter the Thanksgiving holiday here in America obviously the topic of gratitude comes up. Listening to my pastor on Sunday, he suggested in his talk that more often than not we are thankful for things but not grateful. Do you agree?

What I got from this was that thankfulness is a verbal expression but gratitude is an action.  In the story, Jesus rids ten men of Leprosy but only one comes back to show gratitude to Him.

Were they all thankful? Most certainly. Only one truly showed gratitude and that made the difference.

No Matter What

nighttime view of our cabin in georgiaIt’s been a weird month.  Lately, every month has been a weird month. I’m sure you can appreciate that as well.

My two youngest kids are about to complete their first semester of college. That’s a totally new feeling for me as I realize how close they are to striking out on their own.

We had a sudden need to go car shopping when one vehicle expired. Finding one that had the right features within our budget was a real struggle but we finally found one and completed the purchase. Just in time to drive it up to Georgia for a few days at my sister’s cabin. I am writing this from there.

Where is Your Focus as a Leader?

I mention this not to just to give you a family update but rather as an example. There were things that didn’t get done when I wanted them done because of these many distractions.

As a leader, I can put my focus on that OR I can focus on what went well.

  • I was thankful to find another car. My gratitude is the action of the stewardship I show in how I care for the vehicle and use it.
  • We are thankful our kids are in college. Our gratitude is to support them and encourage them in this experience.

As leaders, the actions we take in gratitude affect not only us but those we lead as well.

  • You can be thankful to be in business and in gratitude approach each day in a positive manner.
  • Thankful for the team you have and show gratitude by the way you treat them
  • Express thankfulness for the level of productivity your team has achieved and demonstrate gratitude by helping them to reach higher.
  • You can thank each customer for their business and show gratitude by rewarding them for their choice and their faithfulness.
  • Because you see despite all the disturbances in our week, the family was able to spend time together and to celebrate Thanksgiving and share a large, very filling meal.  Rather than harp on the inconveniences, we instead focus on the good and positive things that happened.

Gratitude is an action and therefore is one of a leader’s strongest tools.  Gratitude in practically the ultimate in positive thinking.  It doesn’t ignore the fact that there are problems. It doesn’t disregard that we are not where we wish to be or who we wish to be. It rejoices in what we have been blessed with so far, no matter how big or small.  And it turns that attitude into an action that creates more positive effect in both ourselves and our team.

[tweetthis]Gratitude is an action and a leader’s strongest tool. #gratitude[/tweetthis]

Gratitude is Out Loud

Gratitude, when properly practiced, becomes a way of life and a way of thinking.  The proper practice of gratitude is to engage in it daily.  Waiting until the holidays to express gratitude is not the appropriate application.  That’s called ritual.  What we want is authentic, heart-felt thankfulness for how your life has been blessed and how others have influenced you positively.  In fact, the key to effective gratitude is to remember that gratitude is loud and persistent.  The more often you promptly proclaim your thanksgiving and the more openly your share it, the more blessings multiply and opportunities appear and actions yield results.

[tweetthis]The key to effective gratitude is to remember that gratitude is loud and persistent. #gratitude[/tweetthis]

I am thankful I am here with family celebrating this season. My gratitude action is that I am stopping here to enjoy that. What will YOU do?

Action Plan

  • Start your own gratitude journal, beginning today and through to the rest of the year at least.  Each day, first thing in the morning (including weekends), write down ONE THING for which you are grateful.  From that, determine ONE ACTION YOU WILL TAKE to demonstrate your gratitude THAT DAY. Start now.

P.S.

Wow! After I finished and posted this, I ran across this excellent article supporting these thoughts. Give it a read.

Four Habits You Need Every Day to Become a Better Leader

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Habits Help Define Us

Old Habits - New Habits signpost in a desert road backgroundDid you know that your brain is programmed for efficiency? It will naturally find a way to turn routine actions into habits so the brain can rest more often.

I learned this as I went through Charles Duhigg‘s book The Power of Habit. It’s not a new book – been out for a few years – but my list of books is so large I have to vacillate between older and newer books I read or listen to or simply peruse.

So your brain creates habits out of routine. Sometimes that is good and sometimes not so good. One of the things I got from Duhigg’s book is that the way to defeat a less desirable habit is to break the routine by choosing different actions and rewards. It is something that requires daily effort to establish or destroy habitual behaviors, whether good or bad.

What Are You Doing Today?

John Maxwell says that “The secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda.” In other words, success as a leader means that you are establishing habits through your daily routine and the decisions and priorities you make. Becoming a great leader is a process and not a momentary flash of brilliance.

The more we establish daily practices of leadership behaviors we create routines. These routines then lead to habits. We find ourselves unconsciously doing the right things and adding value to our people.

[tweetthis]Becoming a great leader is a process and not a momentary flash of brilliance.[/tweetthis]

Four Every Day Habits for Leaders

1. Growing 1%

Now here is a real challenge for us. We KNOW we need to be working on our growth yet we tend to relegate it to the “spare moments” of our time. How much spare time do you find yourself with during the workweek? Yeah, me too.

So if finding spare time is not a real possibility, then logically (and emotionally) the only real alternatives are to schedule it in as a priority or do absolutely nothing.

Doing nothing carries substantial penalties.

When we DO work on our growth, it is usually in frantic spurts of energy, unfortunately followed by extended periods of inactivity. The results are less effective because we get it in so rarely and want to therefore get through as much as we can. It overwhelms us and the outcome is that we remember practically nothing. Certainly we didn’t apply it.

Instead of overwhelm, we apply the principle of elephant eating. You have probably heard the old maxim, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!” That’s the secret here. Just focus on activities EVERY DAY that help you grow just 1% a day. Read a few chapters of a non-fiction book, such as a leadership book, or one on relationships, or a biography. Practice a skill you are trying to master. Just focus on the routine of the 1% growth and create the habit.

Just remember it must be intentional and it must be scheduled.

2. Looking for Good

As leaders our instinct is to walk in and find out what’s going wrong and what needs to be fixed. We spend too much time on the problems. We lose sight of all the people who really fix the problems and keep things going.

So instead of going in looking for problems to solve develop the routine of looking for people to compliment. As the saying goes, “catch people doing good.” When they do the right thing at the right time, when they go the extra mile, when they soothe over a customer, when they help a teammate out. Look for the behaviors you want them to repeat. Immediately then make a point of recognizing it according to the individual’s comfort level. Some folks, like me, want to be recognized publicly and loudly for the good things they have done; others prefer a quiet “well done“.

The results of this will be a brighter outlook for you on the day and a boost in morale not just for the individual employee but for those around them as well. Think what it would be like if your employees were all striving for a compliment from you. Sure, you may end up spending an inordinate amount of time complimenting people but if you can think of better things to do with your time then you need to go back to Leadership 101.

3. Meeting One-on-One

Tilt view silhouette of two people meeting one-on-oneLeaders need to be able to care about their people enough to be open to connect with them. Without caring, you can’t connect. Without connecting, you can’t influence. Without influence, you can’t lead.

You learn to care by spending time one-on-one getting to know them better. Ask questions and then….shut up and listen. Ask about their dreams, their family, what they do in their spare time. So each day you meet with one person to listen to them talk about their favorite subject – themselves.

This needs to be a daily habit because leaders need to keep in the know. Things change. We often have to be reminded of what we learned before. They need to know you mean it; that you truly care and it is worth keeping in touch regularly. It doesn’t need to take more than 15-30 minutes of your time each day and yet pays huge dividends.

4. Ridding Yourself of Work

So where will you find the time to work on personal growth, compliment others, and meet with individuals? Simple. Find something in your work load every day that you can hand out to someone else to do.

You see, as leaders most of our wasted time during the day is doing things that someone else could do just as well or possibly even better. In fact, experts estimate we spend 80% of our time doing that. We have held on to them for various reasons; because we enjoy it or because we have always done it or even for the sense of control it gives us.

Spending time doing things others could do takes away from our ability to do things only we can do or should do. Therefore, each day find something to get rid of and lighten your load.

By The Way

One quick note on what you read here.  I attempt to add value to you with what I write.  I choose my topics based on

  • what people tell me
  • what I think I would like to hear
  • what I read
  • what I need to hear myself.  I figure if I need to hear it, perhaps you do too!

If you want me to talk about a topic you haven’t seen or go into more detail about one, drop me a message. Unless you tell me otherwise, I’ll even publicly recognize you for the great idea! Just email me at psimkins(at)BoldlyLead.com.

When Is a Company Policy Not Really a Policy?

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The Message You Send Through Uneven Enforcement of Company Policy

Another Victim of Social Media?

Applying policy unevenly can have a chilling effect on employee engagementA few days ago, someone had their 15 minutes of fame. It wasn’t planned and no one got hurt – except maybe for her. Company policy got in her way.

If you haven’t heard about it yet, Juli Briskman of Virginia was riding her bicycle down a country road.  President Trump‘s motorcade came by escorting him from his golf course back to the Whitehouse. In a moment of pent-up frustration Juli raised her left hand and extended her middle finger as the they sped by.

OK. Big deal, right? Probably not the first time, inappropriate as it is. Unfortunately, a quick-witted Whitehouse photographer captured it on camera and posted it on the Internet. It went viral. Tens of thousands have seen it. Briskman saw it and liked it so much she made it her profile picture on Facebook. The picture itself just shows the back of a cyclist with no real identifiable features. Juli Briskman could have gone on with life with no repercussions.

Except….

Briskman got concerned that her employer would see it. That would not be good. She was a Marketing Analyst for a government contractor called Akima LLC. So Briskman took the initiative to go to her Human Resources office and inform them that she was the person in that picture that is all over the Internet.

Her boss thanked her for stepping forward and then promptly fired her.

Breaking the Code

See, according to her boss Juli Briskman had violated the Akima LLC Code of Conduct. That code states:

The Akima, LLC Code of Conduct describes the policies of Akima and its subsidiary companies for conducting business in accordance with applicable laws and the highest ethical standards.  Akima expects that a high level of ethical standards and personal integrity will be reflected in all of its business dealings.

Similarly, Akima expects its employees, officers and directors to exercise good judgment and maintain high ethical standards in all activities which affect Akima.  Every Akima employee is held to these standards.

So according to Akima Briskman giving the motorcade the finger was an obscenity and therefore a violation of policy. Akima was concerned about the impact it could have on their core business of contracting with the federal government. So, goodbye.

This is Where it Gets Complicated

Now probably a good number of people right now are saying “good, she deserves it.” At the same time, it opens up a whole bunch of questions worth considering from both a leadership and employee engagement perspective. Here are some of pertinent facts as we know them now:

  • Briskman was off duty and wearing nothing that represented her company.
  • She did not take the picture nor arrange to have it taken
  • Briskman did make it her profile picture on her personal Facebook page (which does not mention her employment)
  • A male co-worker allegedly posted a public message calling someone a pretty obscene name typically assigned to liberals on his Facebook page where he features the company logo in his profile picture. He was reprimanded and deleted the post but not fired.
  • Akima LLC was totally unaware of her involvement until she took the initiative to tell them. It is likely they would have never known.
  • Virginia is an employment at will state, meaning technically an employer can terminate you for any reason at any time.

Questions to Consider

Russian Nesting Dolls are a good example of the questions we deal with on employee engagement and personal livesWith all of that in mind, it raises questions about the reach of organizations into our personal lives. It also raises questions about the message we send when the application of policy appears uneven. Some questions to consider are

  1. Where are the lines where behavior and choices in personal life are of concern to an employer?
  2. What message does it send when an employee shows integrity and suffers consequences as a result?
  3. Why the uneven application of the obscenity policy? Does political alignment play a part? If so, does it show discrimination that someone obviously an extreme conservative is reprimanded but a liberal is terminated?
  4. Is the company’s concern about her behavior potentially affecting their core business a valid one? If it is, could I be terminated for being a Protestant because the company’s biggest client is Catholic?

On the surface they may seem like easy questions to answer. Yet like a Russian Nesting Doll, each time you open one up you discover another inside to be opened.

Similar to Other Recent Stories

It seems the situation is somewhat similar to one that Google dealt with a while back with an outspoken employee. You can read more about that here. The termination, based on what has been reported, appears to be more motivated by discovering an employee has political leanings inconsistent with those of the owner or leaders of the organization; much like the employee at Google. Further possible evidence of that is male employee who was even more profane publicly AND connected it to his company through his profile picture yet was not terminated.

No, the answers are not easy yet they are answers we must seek as we look to keep people engaged in the workplace while also involved in the world around them.

What are your thoughts about this? Are there points I missed? Where are the lines drawn for you? Share your comments here or email me at psimkins(at)BoldlyLead.com.

Navigating the world of leadership and employee engagement can be overwhelming. I can help you get from here to there. Contact me for a free Discovery Strategy Session at 321-355-2442.

6 Reasons Why You Should Shuck the $@#* and One Why Profanity is Sometimes Good

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Breaking the Habit of Profanity in the Workplace

picture of businesswoman with profanity bubbleI was concerned primarily with profanity. Moments before my first on-air shift at a radio station I confessed my desperate nervousness to my Program Director. “I am scared about saying the wrong thing!” I professed. “What if suddenly I accidentally let a cuss word out or something?”

My PD assured me “You should be worried. It’s exactly the right attitude to have. The FCC doesn’t take that well!”

At the time, the Federal Communications Commission, who oversees broadcast media, had very strict rules about the use of profanity on the radio waves. A fine for the station and even for you personally was not completely out of the question, depending on severity and frequency.

“I knew that the profanity used up and down my street would not go over the air..so I trained myself to say ‘Holy Cow!’ instead. –Harry Caray, famous Chicago Cubs announcer

Our Words Make a Difference

I don’t remember the Program Director’s talk making me feel any better. I did manage to get through my few years in broadcast radio without letting a swear word slip out on-air. And there was another benefit to his little “pep talk” – it made my very aware of how language and the words we use make a difference.

Therefore, I want to encourage you to restrict the use of profanity overall – in the workplace, at home, in the community. Despite it’s prolific use today in the movies, television, and so forth, it still has a very negative aspect to it.

“All hockey players are bilingual – they speak both English and profanity.” -Gordie Howe

Here are some other reasons profanity doesn’t help

1. It’s Unprofessional

A study conducted by CareerBuilder.com found that 81% of employers believed swearing (profanity) brings an employee’s professionalism into question. A good 64% said it caused them to think less of the employee. Being a professional by its nature demands a certain level of self-control that profanity belies.

2. Words Have Impact

You know the old adage we used to say to the mean kids when we were young. You know,

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me!”

Well, it’s a lie. Study after study has repeatedly shown that it DOES hurt us. Deeply. We might laugh it off as though we are too tough for anything like that to affect us, but it does.

The truth is that there is evidence according to authors Andrew Newberg, M.D. and Mark Robert Waldman that words can literally change your brain. They suggest that just seeing a list of negative words makes you feel worse and disrupts many of the operational centers of your brain. Other research suggests it also changes the attitudes and behaviors of others.

Negative words, therefore, will trigger negative behaviors – not just in others but in ourselves as well.

3. Words Have Emotion

Words alone have minimal impact. It is the emotional context we put behind words that gives or takes away impact. Curse words by design have negative impact and so there is not really a way to say them with a positive impact. Some will try to say positive things that include profanity but the intent will diminish.

Think about it. If someone compliments you by saying “You F—in’ Rock!” does it really make it more positive than to just say “You Rock!“? In fact, if you look at it, the use of the profanity actually lessens the impact rather than enhances it. You focus on the F—in’ and not the rockin’.

4. It Desensitizes

The more profanity is used the less impact it has. On the surface that sounds like a good thing. Great! Curse up a storm and it eventually won’t bother anyone anymore!

Yet it also means it won’t have the impact you intended it to have. While there are some that curse as part of their second nature, overall we use curse words precisely for the impact they have; either to stress the emotions of your words or to intimidate or just to show power.

However, it’s like taking drugs. At first a little has effect but then after a while it takes more and more to have the effect we want.

5. It Impedes Communication

cartoon of man's profanity speech bubbles building a wall between peopleWhen people react negatively to curse words, their impulse is to defend. When they are defensive, they are no longer open to truly hearing what you have to say. Their response will almost always be a negative one; whether they become openly aggressive or opt for a more passive-aggressive stance. Either way, while the use of profanity triggers emotional response, unless your intent is simply to intimidate or cause emotional reaction you won’t reach your communication goals.

6. You Could Be Fired

While you do have freedom of speech guaranteed by the Amendment One of the U.S. Constitution, the Supreme Court of the United States also defined a category of exceptions they called Unprotected Speech. Part of the exceptions are many of the curse words we use. They are considered obscene and inflammatory and therefore are not protected by the First Amendment. It falls in the same realm as fraudulent speech or defamation.

Can be Beneficial

That all being said, most of do curse at least on occasion, me included. For those of who do once in awhile let loose with an expletive or two (or three) are actually finding a little bit of pain release, whether physical or emotional. A study reported at PsychCentral.com actually found it provides an outlet for pent-up emotions. We are less likely to to become violent when we let loose with a few profanities and can actually improve our well-being.

The same study, however, did find that high frequency diminished any of the positive effects. So if you are going to use curse words, be careful of how much and how often.

“Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.” -Mark Twain

So intent matters. Overall, remember that profanity is pretty much meant for negative and not positive impact. Choose the words you say and when you say them for optimal positive impact.

Do you use curse words in the workplace? Do you work with people who do? How do you think it affects work relationships?

Share your thoughts here in the comments or email me at psimkins(at)BoldlyLead.com

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