How to Be a “With Me” Leader

Years ago, Stanley Ott wrote a book called The Joy of Discipling.  If you are faith-oriented, I recommend it.  Not a long book but definitely a powerful one.

In the book, Ott describes the premise of discipling (teaching or guiding) others is through a “With Me” approach.  Bringing them along with you but also walking along with them; for the journey is not for one person but for both of you.  Along the way, both of your grow.

As a leader, your objective is not to be out front; it’s to be beside.  It’s not to say, “I have all the answers“; it’s to say “Let’s find the answers together.”  It’s the challenge to bring them along with you on your journey, yet at the same time exploring their journey as well.

That’s critical because if the relationship only benefits you, the other person is gonna lose interest.  A leader helps others get where they are going while also showing the way to where that person is going. It means you have to care for them, want to know their life story.  It means wanting to know where they have been and, even more so, wanting to know where they want to go.  And at all times, being a leader requires having someone with you.  Otherwise, all you are doing is taking a lonely walk.

So the objective is to always have someone with you, even as you learn.  Discovery as a team or group is so much more productive and rewarding.