Why I Love the Law of Sacrifice and Why You Should Too!

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Having It All Together … Right!

You probably know someone who seems to always have it together. They are everywhere and in everything. To the naked eye they always seem to excel at everything they do.

There is no slowing down! Is there a committee? They’re on it. Have an event that needs organizing? Ready to go! They are raising 55 children and spent quality time with each of them. Working two full-time jobs. Volunteer at the local shelter. Raising money to fight some disease. Writing a book. And have the happiest spouse in the world.

Social media amplifies this picture. Not only do we get descriptions but also vivid pictures of their perfect life, perfect children, perfect job, and idyllic state of mind.

In reality, there are parts of their lives that are neglected. That’s not a maybe, it’s a certainty. The picture we see, often filled in with our own perceptions, is a flawed photo. I exaggerated the description above intentionally because that’s what we often do when we think about those high achieving types. We make them bigger than they are. Then we compare ourselves to them, imagining that they have everything in their perfect life while our lives are hollow shells full of meaningless events and a cesspool of problems. It’s unfair!

The law of sacrifice cannot be violated

It’s also unreal. The truth is that people who seem to have it together are not living perfect lives. They may be accomplishing more than we are right now, but that’s not because they have it all together. It’s not because they are necessarily more talented than we are; in fact, often they may be less talented. And they have problems too, they just don’t share them around as much as some others do. THEY KNOW THAT EVERY THOUGHT THAT HITS THEIR HEAD DOESN’T HAVE TO HIT SOCIAL MEDIA!

Applying the Law

But what they really have that helps them succeed is an good understanding and effective application of the Law of Sacrifice. As one of my mentors John Maxwell says, “You must give up to go up“. You have to let go of some things in order to have other better things.

That’s a scary prospect for many of us and perhaps even a little depressing. When we think about the Law of Sacrifice or giving up, we picture big things. We can become a CEO but our family life is non-existent. If we want to make a lot of money we have to get rid of our moral compass.

Again, it’s that penchant for exaggeration. And it’s also good old resistance helping us find reasons to not make any changes.

Simplicity in the law of Sacrifice

Even a time turner can't save you from the Law of Sacrifice In truth, the Law of Sacrifice is actually pretty simple. It’s all about priorities. Every single one of us has the same 24 hours in a day and seven days in a week. Barring Hermione Granger passing down her Time Turner to us (which you can actually buy) we cannot change that restriction on our lives.

That being the case, we change what we can. If we can’t change time, we change how we invest our time. Most of what takes up our time aren’t major things, they are trivial things. Therefore, most of the sacrifices we have to make are not between two high priorities, but between a high priority and a low priority.

Giving Up Good for Better

You actually look at giving up lesser things in order to get greater things. You sacrifice an hour of television time every day in order to read a personal growth book. Give up a couple of free evenings each week to work on a master’s degree. When you learn to really apply the Law of Sacrifice, what you are really doing is simply learning to

Say No to the Good So You Can Say Yes to the Best

My father excelled in the credit union business during his career. He was President and CEO of several credit unions over the span of many years and also was a high demand consultant to credit unions nationwide for many years after that. He was a pioneer in the industry. We have the largest ATM network in the country due to his efforts.

To get there, he had to spend long hours working. He gave up some evenings of watching TV to earn a GED and then a degree. Yet, he was never an absentee husband or father. He coached Drum Corps and Little League. He was a Scoutmaster. We went on trips. Dad was at dance recitals for my sister. While there were sacrifices to reach the level he achieved the sacrifices were giving up lesser things to get those greater things. He did not give up one great thing to achieve another. Was he perfect? Did he mess up the choices sometimes? Certainly. Yet he made the decision and honored the commitment.

Obey the Law and Love It

Know that you have to give up to go up. The Law of Sacrifice is alive and well and it is immutable.

Embrace that. While it sounds like you are being deprived you are actually being set free. When you apply the Law of Sacrifice and set your priorities it frees you from what isn’t a priority. When you shape your schedule around those things that are priorities, it frees you up to say no to scheduling lesser priorities.

Some laws are intended to provide liberty instead of tyranny. When you apply the Law of Sacrifice there will be hard choices to make. But the good news is that the choice is always yours.

do you have trouble finding clarity on your priorities? Not sure where to start? contact me today for a free discovery strategy session.

The Dirty Secret of the Multitasking Leader and Why You Should Stop

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This Multitasking Leader Comes to a Screeching Halt

About few years ago, my son and I were driving home from a Boy Scout meeting. We turned through an intersection and proceeded a few hundred yards forward when I looked down to change the radio station. At the same time, the car in front of me decided suddenly that they wanted to turn right into a parking lot and hit their brakes. Lots of noise later, they have a beat up rear-end and my car is totaled. Thankfully, no one was hurt.

A Do Everything World

woman trying to multitask with two phones We all do it. Folding laundry and watching TV. Driving and changing the radio station. Texting on your smartphone while talking to an employee. Sitting in a meeting and sending an email. Trying to do more than one thing at the same time because we don’t think there are enough hours in the day. It’s called Multitasking and it is the biggest time waster of all!

“Wait“, you might say, “multitasking is a critical part of functioning in work and life today! How can you say that it is a time waster?“

Because it is. The evidence is mounting and irrefutable.

And you need to stop.

The Overwhelming Case Against Multitasking

A multitasking leader may argue that multitasking is essential. You think you need to be able to do multiple things at once to get everything done. Too many hours per day are already spent at work, so you may believe that if you don’t multitask that you will spend even more time and get few things done.

But numerous research studies suggest that actually the opposite is true. It is BECAUSE you are multitasking that you aren’t getting things done! Here are some of the more recent studies and the conclusions they have made about why multitasking is detrimental.

You are MORE EASILY DISTRACTED. (Stanford Study)
Your MEMORY GETS WORSE. (same as above)
You become more ANXIOUS AND DEPRESSED (Plos One)
It actually makes you LESS EFFICIENT AND LOWERS PRODUCTIVITY (JOEP Vol. 27 Issue 4)
Evidence shows more mistakes are made when multitasking instead of focused work.

Your Bad Multitasking Self

The idea is that if we are multitasking then we are working on multiple things at the same time, juggling everything and keeping things going.

But that’s not what happens. In most cases what happens is it simply means that you are doing multiple things badly.

It doesn’t help that multitasking is encouraged by many employers today. First, many companies advertise jobs where they specifically state in the job requirements that they want someone who can effectively multitask. I guess my question is, how exactly do they measure that?

Secondly, with layoffs and streamlining, employers tell the survivors they must learn to do more with less, which unfortunately includes less staff. But not less work. While they don’t explicitly say it, they expect you to pick up all the slack and still do it within the same time frames. So your choices at either to put in twice as much time or “multitask”.

You are not Multitasking

multitasking in Windows Further, understand that what you are doing is not actually multitasking.

It is actually just task-switching.

What it reminds me of is the Microsoft Windows operating system on computers. Early versions of Windows offered a way to jump between tasks. You could still only run one thing at a time, but you could jump between applications. That was called task-switching. It wasn’t until later versions where Windows would allow you to actually run multiple applications at the same time.

What we do when we allegedly multitask is the first one – we are simply task-switching. Problem is, we aren’t a computer with an operating system designed to do that, so we have a lot more trouble than Windows did jumping from one task to another. And that’s saying something.

Proof that multitasking takes longer

We are actually designed to focus on one thing at a time. Again, lots of research to support this. Health Magazine cites a 2013 University of Utah study that found the better you thought you were at multitasking, the worse you actually were.

However, you may believe you are an excellent multitasking leader. As I have presented this information to groups in the past, there many in the crowd who, despite the overwhelming evidence, maintain that they are an excellent multitasker.

Let’s put that to the test

This test is derived from Dave Crenshaw, author of The Myth of Multitasking.

Part 1

Get out a sheet of paper and lay it down so it is wider than it is high (landscape style).
Draw four lines across the paper.
Get someone to time you on this. On the first line write “multitasking is a thief“. On the second line write the numbers 1-21. Record the time it took you to do both tasks one after the other. It should be about 30 seconds or less.

Part 2

On the next two lines you will do the same thing, again being timed.
This time, you will write a letter on line 3 and then a number on line 4, then back to line 3 and another letter and then a number on line 4.
Do this until done. Record your time.

You should find that A) it took you much longer, B) you likely made a mistake, and C) it was more stressful.

The Conclusion

In summary, you suck at multitasking.

And so do I and so does everyone else.

So, if you were doing something else while you were reading this, stop.

Now leave your comments and thoughts.

Okay, now you’re done. Go back to that other thing.

Why Leaders Are Learners – Part II

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Inspired Leaders Have GRIT

On October 10, 2014 I was blessed to be a host for L2:Learn-Lead, the new annual leadership simulcast produced by the John Maxwell Company. In the last post, I shared the opening keynote by John C. Maxwell to initiate this series. Today, I want to share some of the thoughts from Linda Kaplan Thaler.

About Linda

Linda is the co-founder and head of Publicis Kaplan Thaler, a marketing and advertising firm. She is definitely a leader within her industry; creative and innovative. She knows how to get things done. Among the many claims to fame she has is the creation of the Kodak Moment, the AFLAC Duck, and the Toys R Us Kid jingle. She is also co-author of a few books, including The Power of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness.

GRIT Creates Extraordinary

Linda spoke on GRIT: How Ordinary People Become Extraordinary. GRIT is an acronym for Guts, Resilience, Industriousness, and Tenacity. Here are some of Linda’s thoughts from her talk:

98% of highly successful people were considered average.
- Walt Disney was fired from his first job for being “uncreative”
- General Colin Powell was a C- student
- Michael Jordan wasn’t good enough to make his high school varsity basketball team
- What makes the difference is their GRIT.

[snaptweet]Anyone with perseverance and pluck can go from ordinary to extraordinary. -Linda Kaplan Thaler[/snaptweet]

If you are brave enough, stop dreaming and start doing!

[snaptweet]I never spent one minute dreaming about success. I worked for it. -Estee Lauder[/snaptweet]

Overprepare and outwork everyone else
We get easily distracted and need to refocus on where we are going.

Four Keys to Help Stay on Track

SOLVE SMALL PROBLEMS – when you resolve the small problems that pop up regularly, it prepares you to solve the big problems.
MAKE YOUR BED – Military recruits are taught early on how to make their bed first thing every morning and to make it neat and precise. Part of the reason is discipline but a good deal of it is that you accomplished something immediately. If you accomplish nothing else that day, you made your bed.
FINISH WHAT YOU START – With busy schedules and competing priorities, it’s easy to jump from one thing to another and not really finish anything. Successful people finish.
FORGET WILLPOWER – No one has enough willpower to stay the course consistently simply based on their will. Develop habits and create situations that take willpower out of the equation.

Next post will cover Tim Sanders thoughts from L2:Learn-Lead.

Action Items:

How will you apply this to your life?
What do you need to change?
What should you share or teach to others?

Discover Passion: Sing or Cry

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Hitting the Wall

Do you find yourself, or someone you work with, becoming a clock watcher? You know, waiting for the hands of the clock to point to quitting time so you can hurry out the door and do something exciting.

Why Do You Do What You Do?

It’s been said in various forms that runners run, writers write, teachers teach, and speakers speak. And they do it because they have a passion for doing it. They can’t imagine doing anything else. They can’t imagine not having that as a part of their lives.

You may remember the scene from the movie, Sister Act 2, starring Whoopie Goldberg. She is dressed as a nun and talking to Rita, a girl who is the best singer in the choir. Rita has quit, pretending like she didn’t care, even though it is quite obvious she loves to sing. Whoopie tells her “If you wake up in the morning, and you can’t think of anything but singing, then you should be a singer, girl!”

It’s passion.

Passion provides clarity, it helps us discern direction, and it fuels our actions. When we are passionate about something, we feel compelled to act towards it. The more that passion builds, the more we feel compelled to take action.

The opposite effect is, one that I have seen too many times in too many organizations, is people becoming passion-less. They have absolutely no passion for what they are doing and they become like the walking dead. In fact, John Maxwell said that passionless people ARE dead, they just haven’t made it official yet.

So remember this:

[snaptweet]No matter what your formula for success is, if it doesn’t factor in passion, it just doesn’t add up.[/snaptweet]

So how you discover or re-awaken that passion?

WHAT MAKES YOU SING, WHAT MAKES YOU CRY – Look at your daily or weekly activities. You will find your passion in either the things that make you shout for joy when you do them or the things the tug at your heart so much that you feel compelled to action. You will discover the little nuggets of passion inside these things.
WHAT’S THE END RESULT YOU DESIRE – What do you want to accomplish? In a business environment, that doesn’t mean job description or corporate objectives. It means what is the end result, what do you really want to see happen here?
For example, for me what I want to see happen is that I manage to inspire people and businesses to engage in continual, daily growth so that they become the best that they can be; they can realize their potential and become more effective and more profitable at what they do. And that drives me to do what I do.
WHAT CAN YOU LET GO OF TO DO MORE OF WHAT YOU WANT TO DO – While it’s true that passion fuels action, it’s also true that action fuels passion. The more you do those things you enjoy doing or feel compelled to do, the more your passion builds for them and the more effective you are going to become.

What about you? Share here how you feel about what you do and how you build your passion.

How to Achieve Clarity in a Foggy World

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Driving Through the Fog

If you have ever driven a car, you have likely had the experience of driving through heavy fog.

Building a business, building a career, and building a life can feel a lot like that. In fact, that’s precisely the problem for many people; they spend their time navigating through the fog.

A businessman with no real direction who leaps at the next new thing to offer in the hopes for profits that turn the business
The person goes all in to the next scheme guaranteed to make them millions
The girl or guy who obsesses over the next person they think will truly make them happy.

It’s a mirage in fog.

Many people make decisions when things aren’t going well. They look for relief in the despair of the valley instead of waiting for the clarity that comes from being on the mountaintop. And when you’re experiencing the darkness of the valley, it’s always tempting to make changes that you hope will relieve the discomfort. -John C. Maxwell

Finding Your Way Clear

Successful people have CLARITY. The path is clear in front of them and they are joyfully on their journey. And while they path may wind, the hills may seem steep, and the road gets rocky on occasion; they forge ahead with determination because they can see where they are going. How do you achieve this clarity in your life or career or business?

[snaptweet]It’s not the problems that make YOUR life song so special, it’s the clarity you get when you determine to see your way through it.[/snaptweet]

Key Elements to Achieve Clarity:

KNOW YOUR CORE VALUES – Know what you stand for. Know what defines are the very core of your organization or core of your person exactly what has to factor in to every decision you make and everything you do. Honesty and integrity are key core values that you want to integrate into everything you do.
DEFINE YOUR PURPOSE – What are you driven to do, what do you want to accomplish. Here’s a tip: if it takes more than a sentence, then you haven’t fully defined your purpose.
VISUALIZE THE END OF THE ROAD – See where it is you are trying to go.
KEEP AN EYE ON THE PATH IN FRONT OF YOU – That’s where you are going to encounter those rocky roads and if you spend all your time looking ahead, the roadblocks in front of you may stop you before you can get there.