Eight (8) Reasons Why You Need a Leadership Coach

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Compelling Reasons a Leadership Coach Can Help

Everyone needs a sounding board. In all my years in business, I have as yet to meet a single person who was so supremely confident in every decision they made that they needed no feedback. That’s where a leadership coach can help.

A Valid Sounding Board

The problem with most of the sounding boards that leaders tend to gravitate towards is that they have skin in the game. They have some sort of vested interest in the outcome. Talk to a colleague, chat with an assistant, share with your spouse. They are involved somehow. They can’t disconnect themselves completely from the situation enough to give feedback that isn’t somehow skewed. It’s not necessarily intentional, it’s our nature when our own emotions or well-being is involved.

By contrast, the Leadership Coach can provide that perspective. They can listen objectively. Ask questions. Challenge assumptions. Best of all, they help you discover the answers hidden from you.

“Does coaching work? Yes. Good coaches provide a truly important service. They tell you the truth when no one else will.” –Jack Welch

A Leadership Coach is Not a Consultant

In fact, an important distinction is that a leadership coach is NOT a consultant per se. A consultant gives you answers. They are typically expert in your industry. And they are good for that. If it is a question of process, a consultant is a good option.

It’s Rarely a Matter of Process

The thing is that the issue is rarely one of process. It is usually one of leadership and people. No one can give you the answers to that because the correct approach is one that is inherently you. A leadership coach can help you find that answer that is only inside of you. And it will be the best solution because it is yours and not someone else’s.

A Leadership Coach is an Expert

So an excellent leadership coach does not need to be an expert in your field. That’s not where you want the answers. They do need to be an expert on leadership. And communication. and relationships.

More Reasons for a Leadership Coach

The right coach provides benefits that are almost unfathomable for the leader. Here’s some of the other benefits provided by a leadership coach.

Experience is NOT the best teacher

You have most likely heard that phrase from someone at least once in your life. Maybe you have even used it. But it’s a lie. We all have experiences every moment of every single day of our life. If experience was really the best teacher shouldn’t we be pretty close to perfect by now?

Therefore it’s not the experience, it’s the lesson. If we spend time REFLECTING on our experience there is a lesson to be derived. We can take the pain of the experience and turn it into something that adds value to us. A leadership coach plays a vital role in helping you find those lesson gems inside of each experience. That’s hard to do on your own.

Your WHY can get lost in the woods

There is the old saying that when you are up to your ears in alligators it’s hard to remember that your objective was to drain the swamp (there is absolutely no political commentary there). When we are dealing with the crisis of the moment we can get lost. We forget WHY we are doing what we do to begin with. Your coach will help you keep your eye on the prize, bringing you back to center when you need it.

Focus or flurry

Action alone isn’t necessarily useful. As John Maxwell says, many people major in the minors. We spend a lot of time being active and busy. Is the right actions? The right kind of busy? We can busy ourselves with a flurry of actions that get us no closer to our goals. A leadership coach will help you focus your efforts so that they are more productive and more in line with your personal or organizational goals.

Overcome Resistance

All of us are naturally resistant to doing anything that puts us out on the line. So if you find yourself having those feelings know that you are in good company. Left on our own, we will often give in to that resistance. Even the high achievers you see give in to resistance a lot more than they would likely want to admit.

Yet study after study has shown that we are less likely to give in to resistance when someone else is holding us accountable. A coach who knows the actions we have determined and the deadlines to meet keeps us in check. Can’t just anyone do that? Only if they are there specifically for that purpose. A leadership coach will know how to help you move past the resistance and go forward.

Clarity

Sometimes our actions are like driving through the fog. We are getting work done but not really sure where it’s taking us. We see a little ahead but can’t really see the road fully. This is where a coach who is not an expert in your field can really be a benefit. A coach who doesn’t make assumptions based on industry knowledge will ask questions others won’t. You explain it and just that process can lead to thoughts that break down mindsets that block us. We get clarity when we see beyond where we are.

Save time

A coach can help you get there faster than you would likely do on your own. Because of the all the other things a leadership coach can do for you, you spend less time spinning your wheels. You benefit from more productive time. You become more effective.

Get from here to there

If your intent is to move forward, a leadership coach can be the bridge that helps you get from here to there. Where is there? It’s wherever you want to be. A coach will help you define in specific terms what your THERE is and develop a specific plan to achieve it. No one does it alone.

A coach is dedicated specifically to your success. They won’t drag you there or stand behind you pushing. However they will walk alongside you as a friend and a guide.

Find out how a coach may help you. Schedule your FREE Discovery Strategy Session with me today!

It’s Not Personal – What They Are Really Saying

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The Message They Give When They Say It’s Not Personal

Michael Corleone Sets a Tone for Many a Businessman

It’s a well remembered piece from the movies. That scene in The Godfather when Michael Corleone comes up with the plan to kill the rival mob boss and the corrupt police chief in one fell swoop. His brother Sonny laughs it off and reminds him that it is business and he is taking it personally. Michael replies “It’s not personal Sonny. It’s strictly business!”

It’s Not Personal

Have you ever heard somebody tell you, “don’t take it personal, it’s just business!” It seems to happen whenever does something that they know is going to upset someone else. It’s a popular way to justify treating others badly for our own personal gain. It helps to avoid the emotional aftermath of a highly charged exchange.

It’s hard to say if it occurred before The Godfather came out or not. Yet for a long time, there was an emphasis on separating your personal life from your business life. After all, business is business. When you are at work there is simply work. Personalities, lives, emotions, the things that make us human all have no place in the world of business. Right?

Don’t Buy the Lie

But the truth is you spend 1/3 of your day involved in the work that you do. Think about that for a moment. A twenty-four hour day. Let’s say you sleep for 6-8 hours (lucky you!). There is from 1/4 to 1/3 of your day right there; leaving 16 hours. Therefore, if you work full-time then a minimum of 50% of your waking hours is spent at work.

So you are being asked to put aside everything that is happening in your life for that 8+ hours. The stress not only of your life but your career as well. And when someone does something that causes a well-up of emotion in you, you are being asked to squelch it because, after all, it’s only business.

It’s ALL PERSONAL!

Don’t believe it! You are emotionally invested in the work you do. If you’re not, you have a whole other problem. I recommend changing jobs. You cannot perform your best unless you are emotionally invested. As a result, the work you do cannot help but be personal.

But it’s not to be taken personally. And that’s the key.

The Fine Line

So if it is all personal but not to be taken personally, how do you do that? Admittedly, it’s not easy. Especially when we emotionally invested there is a tendency to think that anything that gets in our way was put there specifically to stop us.

There is where the development of emotional maturity comes in. When we are emotionally secure we learn to express emotion, to feel it, and yet not let it push out of control. We balance the rational and the emotionally charged.

How to Avoid Taking It Personally

Here are four steps that are going to help you along that way to developing emotional maturity.

Recognize your true value.

Be always aware of what it is you add to a situation to make it better. When you understand what your true value is then you are less likely to take things personally.

Understand that no one really targets you personally.

Most people are way too wrapped up in their own lives to spend much time thinking about you. So when you think that someone is out to get you, actually they are probably not. I’m sure you have probably had your kids come to you and tell you, oh this teacher hates me. And the teacher probably isn’t giving them a second thought when they get home.

Take the time to communicate and listen with your leaders.

Communicate to them what your desires are, what your concerns are. But also listen to the input they have for you because you are going to find that a lot of times the reality is a lot different than your perception.

When you talk, avoid hyperbole.

Avoid saying things like “you always do this” or “you never do that”. Also avoid the negative people that are going to affect your life.

If you take these steps, you are going to get closer to being able to emotionally invest in your life and not take things personally.

What are your coping methods? How do you separate being personal and not taking it personally? Leave your comments here or email me at psimkins(at)BoldlyLead.com.

What Employees Expect from Their Leader and Changing Perspective

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Expectations on the Leader

A leader has to face more than just the task at hand. Often they also have to face perception. I was reminded of a book I read called The Work of Leaders. It was written by a team of four authors at Wiley Press. I heard one of the authors, Julie Straw, present a briefing on their research. One thing item got my attention at the time and I thought of it again. I shared these thoughts once before but time also deepens our perspective.

Employee Expectations

Straw mentioned a survey on employees asking about the shortcomings on their leaders. After distilling it down they came up with three primary issues that people have with their leaders. They are, in order,

Employees want leaders to be more active about finding new opportunities for the team
They also want them to focus more on improving process and making things easier for people
Finally, they want them to spend more time motivating and encouraging their followers

Interestingly, what struck me about this was the comments themselves. Certainly number three is a quality that leaders should embrace. In fact, a leader should spend the vast majority of their time encouraging people, equipping people, and motivating them to become better than they are. But the other two items, #1 and #2, are not really leadership issues; they are management issues.

Manager or Leader

One of the things this tells us is that many people put management and leadership in the same bundle. When people say that the leader should be more active about finding new opportunities for the team and focus more on improving process, they are really saying that these are behaviors they would like to see in their managers that obviously they aren’t seeing.

Remember the simple formula:

MANAGERS are about PROCESS, LEADERS are about PEOPLE

Therefore seeking new opportunities and improving process, making life easier for employees; those are the job of the manager. Equipping, empowering, encouraging, motivating, and growing are the roles of the leader.

That said, to be a truly effective manager you must also be an effective leader. In fact, perhaps what the results of the survey really tell us is what people would like to see. They would like to see managers be more proactive in their management roles but also better leaders than they are now.

A Leader is Grown Not Born

Above all leaders have a responsibility to grow their followers. It’s an enormous responsibility. However for a leader to grow others, they must first grow themselves. You cannot give what you don’t have. I think leaders are recognizing this more and more. Another survey cited in the book The Work of Leaders is about what people think they need the most in order to be better equipped for the jobs.

What was number one?

Leadership Training

Leaders Sail the Waters Daily

When sitting in a boat you are surrounded by the tools you need to sail. However, you may not have any knowledge about sailing. Therefore to use those tools effectively you must spend time developing and applying sailing skills. You develop the skill to gauge the wind, navigate the water, trim the sails, and plot the course.

You then bring all these elements together to move in the desired direction on the water. Sometimes it pays to be mentored by a more experienced sailor. There is learning from your mistakes and the mistakes of others. And you must do all of this day in and day out to become the sailor you desire to be.

Leaders Develop Intentionally

If you are not developing your leadership skills on a regular basis you simply will NOT grow to become an excellent leader. At best it will be inconsistent or very slow. Books and newspapers are full of stories of leaders who are only willing to grow so far. They aren’t willing to make it a deliberate part of their life. As a result, they only realize so little of their potential.

Leadership growth occurs best when it is

DAILY – you must do something every day to develop your skills
INTENTIONAL – you must have a plan for the skills you need to develop and how you will develop them
SCHEDULED – you must set aside time on your calendar for it; otherwise any excuse will help you avoid it
GUIDED – Someone needs to help you see and navigate the process; like a coach or mentor
PROGRESSIVE – build on a skill one by one; don’t attempt to master anything in a day

Spend time on developing yourself and your people than do on management or process problems. When you do, you will be surprised to find how many management problems seem to take care of themselves.

How much intentional is your growth as a leader? What is your biggest challenge making it more intentional? Comment below or send me a note at psimkins(at)BoldlyLead.com.

Are you not sure how to start on the road to intentional leadership? Schedule your free Discovery Strategy Session today.

Why Solid Core Values are Indispensable to Getting You the Best People

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Core Values Determine Who You Attract and Keep

Having identifiable core values are the essence of any person or any team. They are the solid foundation for determining your actions and your choices. Without knowing what our core values are, decisions become harder. With core values, choices and directions can become easier.

Roy Disney, the brother of Walt and the business mastermind, once said,

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”

What Are Core Values

The best way to define core values is that they are the essence of what we believe about who we are and what we do. They are characteristics or traits we want to always exhibit.

True core values will

Identify character traits we intend to share
Be at the heart of every action and decision
Be non-negotiable

Why Are Core Values So Important?

Here are two scenarios, both real and true, that pinpoint the importance of having solid core values.

Driving Decisions

I have been working with a non-profit ministry that provides programs within jails. They help prepare inmates to become productive citizens and family members once they return to the community. The gospel message is at the heart of the program and in all the curriculum.

Their program is so successful they are facing high demand for rapid growth. Other jails want the ministry to expand to their facility. The jails where they are now want them to do more.

It’s not all fun and games though. There have been suggestions that maybe they should tone down that religion stuff a bit. Maybe you should do this differently.

Challenges

So they are facing challenges on multiple fronts. If they expand, the team in place will not be enough. They will have to place people at remote locations and empower them to make good decisions. How do they make sure those decisions are consistent with the essence of who they are and what they do?

The other challenge is with the toning down of the faith-based message. Do they make the change to placate these demands? Are they prepared to walk away instead? They could also miss out on some grants with the focus on the gospel message.

Identifying Their Core

To help them with these issues, we started by identifying what their core values are. It took time and there were some passionate discussions and deep looks at what they believed. In the end, they came up with five strong and clear core values that they are prepared to say are non-negotiable. No matter what, we will not sacrifice this.

By having core values identified and on paper, the immediate decisions become easier. They said no to changing their curriculum. They are willing to walk away if taking the gospel message out was a requirement.

In the future, empowered team leaders will be able to make better decisions because they have a yardstick to measure by. They know what the non-negotiables are.

Attracting People

One company I worked for I had a boss who didn’t fully trust me. Now, one of my core values is to always be trustworthy. As far as I know, I never did anything to indicate that I could not be trustworthy. Yet this boss was always suspecting I was going to betray them. Why? They were expecting me to act the way they would have acted in the same situation.

Because of that attitude they did in fact have several employees over time who betrayed their trust. One embezzled funds. Another stole clients and started their own business.

(Side note – why is it that people are not trustworthy will put their trust in others who are not trustworthy? It seems that people without solid values are more gullible than people with strong values.)

Become What You Want

In my mentor John C. Maxwell‘s book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership he talks about the Law of Magnetism. This law states that who you attract is not based on what you want, it’s based on what you are. In other words, if you are looking for people of integrity and honesty, but your own integrity and honesty is not consistent, you will attract people of questionable integrity and honesty.

Who you are is who you attract. Even if we hire people with the right values, we won’t keep them if we don’t reflect those qualities.

Start with a Core

We start with core values. What qualities are necessary for consistent and strong performance.

So look around you. Are your people negative? Surly? Dishonest? It’s a hard truth but they didn’t get there on their own. There is an old saying – if you see a turtle on a fencepost you can bet he didn’t get there himself!

Do you have established (and written down) core values personally? What about your team? Your company? How do you make sure you attract the right people now?

Need help identifying your core values? Want to attract the right people? I can help. Contact me TODAY at psimkins(at)BoldlyLead.com to schedule a free Discovery Strategy Session to find out how.

Four Habits You Need Every Day to Become a Better Leader

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Habits Help Define Us

Did you know that your brain is programmed for efficiency? It will naturally find a way to turn routine actions into habits so the brain can rest more often.

I learned this as I went through Charles Duhigg‘s book The Power of Habit. It’s not a new book – been out for a few years – but my list of books is so large I have to vacillate between older and newer books I read or listen to or simply peruse.

So your brain creates habits out of routine. Sometimes that is good and sometimes not so good. One of the things I got from Duhigg’s book is that the way to defeat a less desirable habit is to break the routine by choosing different actions and rewards. It is something that requires daily effort to establish or destroy habitual behaviors, whether good or bad.

What Are You Doing Today?

John Maxwell says that “The secret of your success is determined by your daily agenda.” In other words, success as a leader means that you are establishing habits through your daily routine and the decisions and priorities you make. Becoming a great leader is a process and not a momentary flash of brilliance.

The more we establish daily practices of leadership behaviors we create routines. These routines then lead to habits. We find ourselves unconsciously doing the right things and adding value to our people.

[tweetthis]Becoming a great leader is a process and not a momentary flash of brilliance.[/tweetthis]

Four Every Day Habits for Leaders

1. Growing 1%

Now here is a real challenge for us. We KNOW we need to be working on our growth yet we tend to relegate it to the “spare moments” of our time. How much spare time do you find yourself with during the workweek? Yeah, me too.

So if finding spare time is not a real possibility, then logically (and emotionally) the only real alternatives are to schedule it in as a priority or do absolutely nothing.

Doing nothing carries substantial penalties.

When we DO work on our growth, it is usually in frantic spurts of energy, unfortunately followed by extended periods of inactivity. The results are less effective because we get it in so rarely and want to therefore get through as much as we can. It overwhelms us and the outcome is that we remember practically nothing. Certainly we didn’t apply it.

Instead of overwhelm, we apply the principle of elephant eating. You have probably heard the old maxim, “How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time!” That’s the secret here. Just focus on activities EVERY DAY that help you grow just 1% a day. Read a few chapters of a non-fiction book, such as a leadership book, or one on relationships, or a biography. Practice a skill you are trying to master. Just focus on the routine of the 1% growth and create the habit.

Just remember it must be intentional and it must be scheduled.

2. Looking for Good

As leaders our instinct is to walk in and find out what’s going wrong and what needs to be fixed. We spend too much time on the problems. We lose sight of all the people who really fix the problems and keep things going.

So instead of going in looking for problems to solve develop the routine of looking for people to compliment. As the saying goes, “catch people doing good.” When they do the right thing at the right time, when they go the extra mile, when they soothe over a customer, when they help a teammate out. Look for the behaviors you want them to repeat. Immediately then make a point of recognizing it according to the individual’s comfort level. Some folks, like me, want to be recognized publicly and loudly for the good things they have done; others prefer a quiet “well done“.

The results of this will be a brighter outlook for you on the day and a boost in morale not just for the individual employee but for those around them as well. Think what it would be like if your employees were all striving for a compliment from you. Sure, you may end up spending an inordinate amount of time complimenting people but if you can think of better things to do with your time then you need to go back to Leadership 101.

3. Meeting One-on-One

Leaders need to be able to care about their people enough to be open to connect with them. Without caring, you can’t connect. Without connecting, you can’t influence. Without influence, you can’t lead.

You learn to care by spending time one-on-one getting to know them better. Ask questions and then….shut up and listen. Ask about their dreams, their family, what they do in their spare time. So each day you meet with one person to listen to them talk about their favorite subject – themselves.

This needs to be a daily habit because leaders need to keep in the know. Things change. We often have to be reminded of what we learned before. They need to know you mean it; that you truly care and it is worth keeping in touch regularly. It doesn’t need to take more than 15-30 minutes of your time each day and yet pays huge dividends.

4. Ridding Yourself of Work

So where will you find the time to work on personal growth, compliment others, and meet with individuals? Simple. Find something in your work load every day that you can hand out to someone else to do.

You see, as leaders most of our wasted time during the day is doing things that someone else could do just as well or possibly even better. In fact, experts estimate we spend 80% of our time doing that. We have held on to them for various reasons; because we enjoy it or because we have always done it or even for the sense of control it gives us.

Spending time doing things others could do takes away from our ability to do things only we can do or should do. Therefore, each day find something to get rid of and lighten your load.