Tag: habits

Bouncing Back: A Positive Attitude Solves Problems

Posted on by

Punching the Clown

the clown keeps bouncing backOne Christmas when I was very young I got a fun little toy; at least fun for a young boy.  It was an inflatable clown with a rounded, weighted base.  Once you blew him up he stood tall.  He had the nice red nose sticking out and you could aim for it and basically box the clown.  Punch him and he is bouncing back and you can punch him again.  Of course, you always won.  Or did you?

The amazing thing about that clown was that no matter how many times or how hard I hit him, he kept bouncing back up immediately.  Punch him right on the nose, and he rolls right back up so I can hit him again.  Kick him with a nice 7 year old karate kick and he bounced back.  Nothing short of deflating him totally would keep him down.  Even then, you would simply fill him back up and he was ready to go again.  Got a leak?  No problem, patch him up, blow him up, and he is ready to go.  He just didn’t know that he should stay down.  He just kept bouncing back.

Bouncing Back from Problems

It is inevitable.  Problems will come along.  Things rarely go as planned.  You think you are in line for a promotion, you get laid off.  You think you are making progress financially and the house needs a major repair.

In the last five years, we have dealt with issues like everyone else.  Layoffs, a child with Borderline Personality Disorder who has run away from home repeatedly, lots of medical issues which ran up expenses, a very down year for my business, and more recently the federal government shutdown which put my wife on furlough meaning no income.

We could sit and cry about our problems.  No one would really blame us.  But it doesn’t solve anything.  I like to be solution oriented.  This is where a positive attitude comes in.  I don’t believe in defeat, just delay.  I am not down unless I think I am.  I will keep bouncing back as long as I can.  The positive attitude allows us to think clearly about solutions instead of dwelling on problems.  A positive attitude keeps us outwardly focused instead of inwardly focused, avoiding having a pity party.  You have to have faith in your ability to keep bouncing back and finding solutions to your problems.  Norman Vincent Peale mentions that achieving your potential requires that faith when he said,

“Believe it is possible to solve your problem. Tremendous things happen to the believer. So believe the answer will come. It will.”

keep bouncing backSo a positive attitude actually helps us to keep bouncing back from our problems.  In fact, there is research to support that.  In an article in Entrepreneur Magazine, they cite research done at the University of North Carolina that determined that positive emotions “expand awareness and attention” which makes you more open to possible solutions than negative thinking will.

Open up your mind to possibilities.  Believe they are there and like the inflatable clown, keep bouncing back up!

Action Plan

  1. Focus your mind on positive, affirming thoughts.  Encourage yourself that you can keep bouncing back, that you WILL find solutions, that nothing will keep you down.  Don’t move on to the next step until you have reached a positive outlook.
  2. Now think of one main thing that  is threatening to bring you down? Focus on that.  Spend 15 minutes of uninterrupted time brainstorming possible solutions.  If this issue involves your spouse or significant other, include them.  The rules are:
    1. No more than 15 minutes – anything that will come will flow within that time span
    2. No interruptions – no phone, no texting, nothing
    3. No discussion or commentary – whatever ideas come out go down on paper no matter how impossible or silly or stupid they sound.  Write them down.
  3. Now that you have a list of possible s0lutions, discuss them.  Pare down to top 5 possibles.
  4. Take the top 5 and determine two more likely options.
  5. Determine which one to try first.
  6. Invoke that solution today.

Why a Positive Attitude is Hard: Negative People

Posted on by

A Negative People Morning

negative newsI don’t usually do this, but this morning I turned on the TV first thing and turned to the news.  What we were looking for was anything about the federal budget and possible government shutdown.  My wife, Sherry, works for the federal government and would likely be taking a break for a while if the government shuts down.  While she would eventually get paid, if it goes for any length of time that is income we don’t have.

On Facebook and other social media, where there never seems to be an end to the political experts anxious to share their opinions with you, there have been all kinds of commentary about this event and most of it negative.  It’s unavoidable as we live in a negative world.

Don’t Let Negative People Define You

But you and I, we are positive people.  We believe in keeping a positive attitude.  And in this negative world, even having a positive attitude can have a bad rap.  Over the years, I have read and listened to plenty of Norman Vincent Peale and many others who remind us and equip us to have a positive attitude in everything we do.  The negative clans are quick to attack this attitude as a head in the sand approach, or a Pollyanna note outlook on life, or looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.  According to them, we fail to face the realities of life; or at least reality as defined by them.

In truth, having a positive attitude is none of these things.  We don’t hide our heads hoping bad things will just go away.  We don’t ignore the challenges of this world or government shutdowns or bad economies or falling job markets.  We simply refuse to let them define our lives; we stay true to who we are, what we are, and whose we are.  Maintaining a positive attitude doesn’t mean we ignore the world; quite the contrary.  We see the world and we intend to change it!  And we start with ourselves!

Our biggest battle will be the negative people who surround us.  Make no mistake about it, NEGATIVE PEOPLE SUCK!  They just suck the life right out of you and your hopes and dreams.  And they will hammer their message at you continually trying to break you down until you think like they do.  You have heard that misery loves company?  Believe it!  They want you on their side.

avoid negative people, stay positiveDon’t be Anakan, be Luke!  Refuse to cross over to the dark side!

Getting Away from the Influence of Negative People

So how to do we avoid letting negative people impact our lives?  Ultimately, it’s going to rely on your will and desire to stay positive, but here’s a few things that will help.

  1. Stop watching the news!  I mentioned at the beginning that I almost never turn on the TV news in the morning.  It’s not that I am trying to ignore what’s happening in the world, it’s just that I don’t see the need to fill my mind with the full-force negativity of broadcast news.
  2. When a negative thinker starts to share their downer philosophy of life, don’t agree with them.  At the time, it will seem like the quickest and easiest way to get ride of them, but it’s not.  As soon as you agree with them, they think they have an ally and will be coming to you more often.
  3. Don’t argue with a negative thinker; you can’t win.  If you disagree, they want to engage in an argument and come up with more reasons why you should believe they way they do.  Negative doesn’t give up that easy.
  4. Don’t minimize their complaints either.  If you minimize it, they will simply try to come up with more reasons why they are right.
  5. Be sympathetic to what they are saying, but try to re-direct them more to the task at hand.
  6. Always be on a deadline.  “I understand how you are feeling, it must be frustrating.  Please excuse me, I need to focus on this project right now because I gotta have it done by the end of the day.”  The more that you can do that, the more leverage it gives you to excuse yourself away from those situations.
  7. Seek affirmations.  That negative input is going to impact you so you need to seek positive affirmations that are going to help build up your positive thoughts again so you can stay focused on your goals.

Action Plan

  1. Starting tonight, read or listen to something positive just before you go to bed.  Ideally, a self-affirmation script is key because it plants positive thoughts into the subconscious that burned in while you sleep.  It also gets anything negative off your mind before you put you head on the pillow.
  2. Starting tomorrow, read or listen to something positive immediately after you wake up.  Don’t turn on the TV; at least not yet.  Motivational recordings or books, or simply look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are going to have a great day, that you will overcome any obstacles that get in your way, that you will love and care for your family and friends, that you will take care of all your big rocks on the day and add value to everyone you meet.
  3. Avoid the negative thinkers by focusing on the task at hand.  ALWAYS have something to do that requires your immediate attention.
P.S.  While people use the term Pollyanna negatively, as if to assert that being optimistic and looking for the good is wrong,  I have never had an issue with this.  Call me a Pollyanna, I embrace it gladly!

Does a Positive Attitude Really Matter?

Posted on by

Positive Attitude = Positive Results

Zig Ziglar warns about “stinkin’ thinkin’” and “hardening of the attitude“.  Norman Vincent Peale refers to “empty hearts and empty minds” who take on a defeatist position.  Tony Robbins cautions you to avoid seeing the garden as overrun by “weeds“.  John Maxwell, Ken Blanchard, and the list goes on, all talk about the overwhelming difference that attitude can make.  More importantly, they speak to how a negative attitude yields nothing but negative results.

positive thinking gets better results

Conversely, to the person they will also tell you that a positive attitude leads to more positive results.  Zig Ziglar says

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will”

And from Peale,

“Change your thoughts and you change your world!”

Tony Robbins:

“We will act consistently with our view of ourselves, whether that view is accurate or not.”

John Maxwell:

“People may hear your words but they feel your attitude.”

Positive Attitude = Riches?

Think positive!Does a positive attitude make you rich overnight?  No, of course not!  The idea behind having a positive attitude isn’t to change your fortunes instantly but to change you instantly and consistently.  When you become consistent in your attitude, it will play out in your actions.  It has to, you can’t help it.  It has to do with what psychologists call “Cognitive Dissonance“.

In simple terms, it means that you cannot think one way and act in an opposite manner on a consistent basis.  

The mind can’t handle it and therefore will either change your thoughts or change your actions to bring consistency.  If you think positively and act negatively (which would include not acting at all), then your mind will adjust one or the other.  In most cases, your mind will side with your actions.  So while we always point out that our actions speak louder to others than our words do, the same is true within us.  What you do speaks louder to your mind that what you say.

Does that mean that we should stop talking positive until we start acting positive?  Not at all!  Because while our actions have more influence with our mind, our words have influence with our mind as well AND with our actions.  So even if we take positive actions but continue to think and talk negatively, it will start to affect our actions.  They will become less positive and less powerful and once again our mind will brings things back to consistency.

So the real secret in the power of being positive is to combine BOTH positive thoughts and positive actions.  They influence one another and influence our mind as well.  When we are consistent in both thought and action this way, our mind can be more powerful.  Instead of having to sort through the inconsistencies of our thoughts and actions, the mind can spend time on other things like true creative thought and dreaming big dreams.

I’ll be writing all this week about positive thinking.  I invite you to share your thoughts, experiences, and even positive quotes that are meaningful to you.  Share what you know so we ALL can be more positive and more effective.

Change to positive thinking

Action Plan

  1. For at least the next 30 days, read or listen to something positive each day FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.  Studies have shown that what first enters our mind on the day has incredible influence over our day.
  2. What is one thing you have wanted to do but have not begun yet?  Write in down in detail on a piece of paper or on your computer or tablet.
  3. What one positive action can you take TODAY to begin?  It doesn’t have to be a big action, it just has to be positive and move you closer to the objective.  Make a point not to go to bed tonight without doing that.

Growth Like a Weed

Posted on by

Growth Through Blogging

In my accountability group this morning, I brought up the fact that I was blogging daily.  I began this a few weeks ago based on a suggestion that Seth Godin once made that you should blog daily and have something to say about your business.  I hasten to add that while I thought on it from Seth’s suggestion, the decision and reason are mine (which I will get into in a minute).  You will never be at peace fulfilling someone else’s plan for you; it has to be your plan and your reasons.

My Reasons

One of the members of the group asked me why I was doing it, what was the purpose I hoped to accomplish.  Had I attracted a lot of traffic for it?  Did I hope to build traffic or clients through it?  My response surprised them a bit.  No, that is not my objective at this time.  While I welcome people to the blog and while I do work some SEO features into it, building my list or traffic is not currently my primary objective of blogging daily.  I had two big reasons for doing it:

  1. I had a goal and it was an ambitious one.  I not only have to have something to say every day but I have to have a sufficient amount to say about it.  If you think it is easy, try it sometime; although I will say once I get going have enough to say rarely is an issue.  But it was important for me to set an ambitious short-term goal and accomplish it.  So far, so good; haven’t missed a day yet.
  2. It gets me to put my thoughts on paper, as it were.  Topics I think you might want to read about it because, quite frankly, they interest me as well.  It forces me to think on what I have know and what I have learned about these subjects and organize them.  It also forces me to explore a little more and see different perspectives and increase my knowledge.  Who knows, perhaps all this may wind up in a book someday.

growth through goal achievement Both of these reasons have little or nothing to do with building lists, increasing traffic, making sales, or gaining clients.  It has to do with growth; an intentional plan of growth to prepare myself to be able to add value to others more and serve better.  Setting and reaching an ambitious goal is a growth initiative as it not only requires discipline to accomplish it but reinforces self-confidence when I achieve it.  As Henry Thoreau wrote,

 What you get by achieving your goal is not as important as what you become by achieving your goal!

So I am seeking to achieve more to become more and the reverse is also true, I become more to achieve more.  It stretches me and makes me reach higher and deeper.  In addition, putting my thoughts down helps me create and improve content that has garnered through years of experience and research.  Getting it all down prepares me to turn around and share it with others.  All the knowledge in the world is useless unless you can share it with someone else and help them grow.  According to John Maxwell, the idea is to

be a river and not a reservoir.

And what I got into this business for is to Cultivate Growth.  It is my primary purpose for all I do, to foster growth within others to become better leaders, better family members, better employees, and better citizens of their community.  To do that best, I must also cultivate growth within myself.

Cultivating Growth

For growth to really work, your growth has to be like a weed.  A weed grows daily and it grows regardless of what is going on around it.  It takes whatever it can feed off of and keeps going.  Your growth needs to be the same as the weed and more.  It needs to be

  • daily
  • intentional
  • undeterred by circumstance
  • measurable

growth by 1% a dayEvery day, keep 1% in mind.  Commit to grow yourself by 1% daily.  I used to say that if you do that the after one year you will have grown by 365%.  Actually, however, it is not additive, it is exponential.  You get 1% on top of 1% on top of 1% and so on.  Large amounts of growth through a daily commitment.  Make that growth in measurable areas where you can see the changes; that builds confidence and reinforces the movement towards progress.  The progress is key.  Keep going, keep growing.

Be a 1%er!

Action Plan

  1. What are you doing specifically and intentionally to foster your own growth?  If nothing, what are you willing to do?
  2. Track your progress on a daily basis.

Call Now