The Law You Can’t Break – The Law of Sacrifice

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Don’t Tell Me What to Sacrifice

I have a problem. It has always been with me, sometimes helping me and sometimes haunting me. I just don’t like having someone tell me I can’t have it or can’t do it. For example, I have read a lot of blogs and columns about being an entrepreneur. In a good deal of them, they paint a less than rosy picture. They often talk about how you can’t have it all, something has to give. Andrew Dumont even says you need to acknowledge that there is no such thing as work-life balance for an entrepreneur. Stories abound with businessmen (and women) about missed recitals, soccer matches, anniversaries, and other things. So, forget all about work-life balance.

I don’t buy it. No, I refuse to buy it. The passion of many entrepreneurs is the same; they do something because people said they couldn’t do it. That’s my attitude. Tell me I can’t have balance and succeed? Watch me!

The Law of Sacrifice Always Applies

To be sure, there are things you (and I) will have to give up. Some are daily things, such as extended television time, browsing the Internet, cocktail hour, and a good deal of free time. That’s called the Law of Sacrifice and you cannot avoid it. If you want to have any level of success, whether it is running a small business, moving up the corporate ladder, becoming a top sports athlete, or a celebrity; you will have to sacrifice things to get there. As John Maxwell says

You have to give up to go up!

What sacrifices you make is the decision you must face and I recommend you face it early. Being defiant or rebellious can be a wonderful thing and has helped many an entrepreneur move forward. But the ones who last and build a legacy are the ones who know when to make smart decisions and when to ask for help. And they know to give up things that are trivial or not as important to gain things that are important.

There are good kinds of sacrifice in this. Often, leaders are required to make sacrifices to lead people effectively. One of the biggest that a leader must make is putting others first. Leaders must sacrifice the limelight and yield it to their team. Entrepreneurs must sacrifice being right most of the time to be very wrong most of the time. They must sacrifice their ego because they will fail again and again until little things happen and build and success is achieved. Sacrifice can have very positive outcomes, when you make the right choices on what to sacrifice.

Start right away to devise your strategy for fulfilling the Law of Sacrifice, because one way or another you will have to obey the law. Just make sure it’s your choice what you give up.

Unique Up Your Niche

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The Business of Being Unique

There is an old kid’s joke:

Q: How do you catch an unique rabbit?

A: Unique up on him!

Silly, but perhaps it has some value for us. For small businesses, entrepreneurs, and solopreneurs, there is a big emphasis on finding your niche – the market that is almost exclusively yours. The principle behind it is that if you try to market to everyone or try to be everything to everyone, you end up being nothing to anyone. In the highly competitive marketplace today, especially with the explosion of entrepreneurs, it becomes important to target what you do to a specific group of people. That group becomes your tribe or niche that can be yours and you can dominate that market much more effectively IF you know how to talk to them so that your message resonates with them and presents a sense of urgency.

What I see happen a lot with small businesses is aptly described by Marketing Coach Robert Middleton as trying to run their small business as if it was a big business. Trying to compete with the marketing and organization. It can’t be done. You don’t have their budget or their resources.

The Unique Solution

So stop trying to be a big business. Instead take advantage of what you have as a small business. Part of what you have is the unique culture of your organization. Whether you are a solopreneur or have 50 employees, there are things that are unique about you and your organization. Maybe even a little bit weird. Instead of trying to hide that, celebrate it. Emphasize it! Go out of your way to point it out to your customers and friends. Integrate it into everything you write and say about your business. There are distinct advantages to doing this:

You stand out from the crowd. In the competitive marketplace, you can’t afford to fit in or be one grape in the bunch. You need to be the lone banana.
You become more appealing to your niche. They don’t want cookie-cutter, they want someone with character who will be as devoted to them so they can become devoted to you. They want special!
You will connect better with people, customers and friends alike. There is a whole generation out there that values authenticity. The more you and your organization embrace who you really are, the more people will relate to you and trust you.

So how do you catch a unique market?

Unique up on it!

Action Plan

What is it about you or your company that is unique? What makes you a little weird?
In what ways is that appealing to your target market? What are some possible dangers?
How can you leverage that to connect better with your clients?
How can you integrate it into every communication with people inside and outside your company?

Focus or Flurry – A Personal Lesson in Purpose

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Three Years of Focus AND Flurry

Almost three years ago I began this journey to have my own business. I felt it was my purpose to help others learn to become better leaders and better team members. I joined a program to be certified by John Maxwell (one of my mentors) as a leadership coach and become a Founding Partner of the John Maxwell Team of independent coaches. While I have seen some victories, it has not become the overnight, overwhelming success I imagined it to be. Which doesn’t mean it won’t be, just not necessarily on the timetable I originally envisioned.

It’s my own fault; every bit of it. Lack of real focus and a flurry of activity in multiple directions. Friends and family who mean well try to give me an out and mention that the economy is down, small businesses all over are struggling. It’s not your fault. But it is.

Not Giving Up

Let me be clear: I am not calling it quits. I still firmly believe I was meant to do this and will continue to try to do it until I am physically or mentally unable to. However, it’s important to recognize where you have failed and even more importantly, how you can learn from that failure. My two biggest failures have been lack of real focus and lack of strong purpose.

There have been other failures as well. Lack of a real solid plan for getting and keeping clients, lack of a comprehensive marketing plan, poor money management, etc. Passion sometimes blinds us to the realities of life. Just because I have something to say that can help others doesn’t necessarily mean they will beat down the door.

Choose Growth to Find Purpose and Focus

Reading John Maxwell’s latest book, Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn has helped me put this in perspective. I can mope and whine about my great failures or I can learn my lessons from it and move forward and do better.

I choose to learn and grow and get better. So my purpose of sharing all this with you today isn’t to bemoan my failures and give up; in fact, quite the opposite. I will grow stronger and become more effective and that will equip me even more to add value to you going forward.

So what are my lesson learned and what am I doing about it? Here’s a brief summary:

Enrolled in a marketing training program to become a better marketer of my services. I am using ActionPlan.com and highly recommend Robert Middleton as he makes this easy to understand and has excellent hands-on experiences.
Narrowing my focus and defining my purpose. There are thousands of leadership coaches out there. What can I do that is unique and provides value? After blogging every day now for over a month, I am finding myself focusing a great deal on personal growth qualities and most of my work going forward will focus on that.
Re-structuring of systems I use to acquire contacts and maintain communication with them

The biggest lesson which I really had to wrap my head around: IT IS OKAY TO FAIL AND EVEN TO FAIL REPEATEDLY as long as you learn. Thomas Edison while trying to invent the lightbulb failed almost 100o times before he achieved success. Someone asked him how it felt to fail so many times and Edison replied

I didn’t fail 999 times, I simply learned 999 ways to NOT make a lightbulb!

Let’s move forward together and look forward to our failures! Let’s learn and grow and succeed together!

Action Plan

Where you have failed big recently? What have your learned from it? Spend some time thinking on the lessons you could or should learn.
Who can you team up with to help you see perspective and gain accountability for growing? If you can’t think of anyone, call me at 321-355-2442.

Does a Positive Attitude Really Matter?

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Positive Attitude = Positive Results

Zig Ziglar warns about “stinkin’ thinkin’” and “hardening of the attitude“. Norman Vincent Peale refers to “empty hearts and empty minds” who take on a defeatist position. Tony Robbins cautions you to avoid seeing the garden as overrun by “weeds“. John Maxwell, Ken Blanchard, and the list goes on, all talk about the overwhelming difference that attitude can make. More importantly, they speak to how a negative attitude yields nothing but negative results.

positive thinking gets better results

Conversely, to the person they will also tell you that a positive attitude leads to more positive results. Zig Ziglar says

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will”

And from Peale,

“Change your thoughts and you change your world!”

Tony Robbins:

“We will act consistently with our view of ourselves, whether that view is accurate or not.”

John Maxwell:

“People may hear your words but they feel your attitude.”

Positive Attitude = Riches?

Does a positive attitude make you rich overnight? No, of course not! The idea behind having a positive attitude isn’t to change your fortunes instantly but to change you instantly and consistently. When you become consistent in your attitude, it will play out in your actions. It has to, you can’t help it. It has to do with what psychologists call “Cognitive Dissonance“.

In simple terms, it means that you cannot think one way and act in an opposite manner on a consistent basis.

The mind can’t handle it and therefore will either change your thoughts or change your actions to bring consistency. If you think positively and act negatively (which would include not acting at all), then your mind will adjust one or the other. In most cases, your mind will side with your actions. So while we always point out that our actions speak louder to others than our words do, the same is true within us. What you do speaks louder to your mind that what you say.

Does that mean that we should stop talking positive until we start acting positive? Not at all! Because while our actions have more influence with our mind, our words have influence with our mind as well AND with our actions. So even if we take positive actions but continue to think and talk negatively, it will start to affect our actions. They will become less positive and less powerful and once again our mind will brings things back to consistency.

So the real secret in the power of being positive is to combine BOTH positive thoughts and positive actions. They influence one another and influence our mind as well. When we are consistent in both thought and action this way, our mind can be more powerful. Instead of having to sort through the inconsistencies of our thoughts and actions, the mind can spend time on other things like true creative thought and dreaming big dreams.

I’ll be writing all this week about positive thinking. I invite you to share your thoughts, experiences, and even positive quotes that are meaningful to you. Share what you know so we ALL can be more positive and more effective.

Change to positive thinking

Action Plan

For at least the next 30 days, read or listen to something positive each day FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. Studies have shown that what first enters our mind on the day has incredible influence over our day.
What is one thing you have wanted to do but have not begun yet? Write in down in detail on a piece of paper or on your computer or tablet.
What one positive action can you take TODAY to begin? It doesn’t have to be a big action, it just has to be positive and move you closer to the objective. Make a point not to go to bed tonight without doing that.

How to Rejoice Always

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Rejoice – Enjoying What We Have

We All Ride a Roller Coaster

I try to be transparent with what I share here. The more you can see me, warts and all, then the more likely you are to realize that success in business and life is attainable; that we all have flaws, shortcomings, and challenges we face. Steve Jobs, despite his incredible vision and gift for marketing, had big character flaws. Same with Bill Gates, and many others. Ray and Maurice McDonald didn’t have the vision to make their restaurant a household name; it took Ray Kroc to do that. We ALL have hurdles to face and have up times and down times.

I share that because recently I have been having a down time. For a variety of reasons, things have not gone well in different parts of my life and I have gotten down on myself and doubts began to creep in. When that happens for me, I go back and look for things that remind me to re-focus and think positive.

Warning: The rest of this post will have a decidedly spiritual bent to it. I apologize if it offends you; I do not apologize for who I am and what I believe.

I ran across this: I have a card I received at a men’s group meeting years ago that I keep around. It is shaped like a stop sign and, in fact, on one side looks like a stop sign. On the other it carries this verse from the Bible, specifically from Philippians 4:4-7:

“Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS (emphasis mine)! I say again, REJOICE! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Changes in Attitude

For me, of course, it is a reminder of where I have put my faith and my life. It is also a reminder that no matter what else I have things I can take great joy in throughout my life daily.

Let’s expand it beyond and see what we can find for everyone. When we have an ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE, we are better able to keep things in perspective. When we rejoice in the things we have that cannot be taken away, that the world cannot touch, then we provide a solid base for how we regard everything else that happens in our life. Once we have that perspective and are thinking in gratitude, therefore thinking positively, then we are better equipped to handle the crisis and not only survive but come out ahead. Zig Ziglar often said

“The more you express gratitude for what you have the more you will have to express gratitude for.”

Adopting the principle of rejoicing yields big returns; perhaps not always in the way we expect. Certainly, we all wish we had more money, more resources, more opportunities, more clients, more of whatever is on our mind right now. Yet when we rejoice in what we do have, we see that not only do we have a full cup but that it actually overflows. On the other hand, when we focus on what we don’t have we can lose what we do have. I remember years ago watching a comedy sketch where a man asks another man who is holding a cup of coffee for the time. The second man turns his wrist to look at his watch and pours out his cup of coffee. Like the man, we lose focus on what’s in our hand to look at something else.

Consider This

What would your life be like if, for say at least a week, when someone asks you how you are you respond with “I am rejoicing!” Don’t reflect on what people will think about you, center on what it will do for you. Certainly it would be hard to say that continually and be negative.

I am going to try that for the next two weeks. I invite you to try it with me and let me know how it goes.

Action Plan:

Begin a gratitude journal. Get a notepad or journal or use an online one like Penzu. Every day for at least a month, write down at least one thing you are grateful for. Each day you have to enter something you have not previously added; in other words, each day is unique. Look at the list often.
Respond to any greeting of “how are you” with “I am rejoicing!” for at least a week. If someone asks you why, use the gratitude reason of the day or some other response if you wish.