Thinking Possibilities

As leaders, one of the most important things we do is think.  We think about our followers, about mentoring and growing other leaders, about the future of our business or our team.
Our thinking becomes dangerous when we start thinking in terms of limitations. When we think in absolutes.  When we think with what’s called a “Lack Mentality”.
It’s been proven time and time again;  limited thinking leads to limited results.
When we think in possibilities however then answers and solutions come to us.
Ken Blanchard once said,
If you want to go places you have never gone before, you have to think in ways you have never thought before.
Possibility thinking leads to the creative.  It opens up new avenues and new solutions and allows you to be a more effective leader for your team.

Solutions Through Possibilities

Mr. Hollands Opus - Mr. Holland teaches musicIf you ever saw the movie, Mr. Holland’s Opus, starring Richard Dreyfus as music teacher Glenn Holland you would see an excellent example of this.  Mr. Holland is trying to write music and dreams of creating a world renown piece.  To pay the bills, he takes on a job as a high school music teacher and  faces challenge after challenge with the students and even his own child, who is born deaf.

Where others saw absolutes and insurmountable circumstances, Mr. Holland instead looked for possibilities.  His passion for music and his desire to share that passion with others led him to think of unique ways to make things happen and achieve success.  He finds creative ways to reach students and inspire them and even devises a way for his deaf son and other hearing impaired people to enjoy music through lights.
The end result was the lasting impact that Mr. Holland had on the people he influenced.  He led them places they didn’t think they could go.

How We Can

As a leader, the responsibility we have as well is to lead people where they don’t necessarily think they can go.  To do that, we have to be willing and prepared to explore possibilities and seek creative solutions in pursuit of our vision.
[snaptweet]When our vision and our passion join, we see hope.  But when we think HOW WE CAN instead of “CAN WE”, then we create possibilities to bring our vision to reality.[/snaptweet]

Here’s some things to help open you up to possibilities:

  1. Be a positive thinker –  Many think positive thinking is just sticking your head in the sand, but actually a positive thinker looks for possibilities.  They look for how they can get the best out of every situation.
  2. Remember WHY and HOW – Question things a lot.  Ask questions like “how can we be more effective?  How can we serve our customers more efficiently?  How can we improve our profitability?”
  3. Avoid the Impossible Thinkers – The consultants and experts that tell you it can’t be done, that its impossible to reach your goals or objectives.  There are always possibilities and we want to look for those instead of what we can’t do.
  4. Think “AND” instead of “OR” –  We limit our thinking by creating exclusionary choices.  We can do this or have that.  Why not look at how can we do this AND have that?  How can we improve customer service AND increase profitability?  Thinking that way helps us come up with creative solutions that are more effective for our organization.

What possibilities will you open yourself up to today?

Talking is Not Listening

Have you ever been involved in a conversation and then 10 seconds later you couldn’t remember what they said or even if what they said was significant?  It’s not uncommon; in fact, it happens to all of us on a regular basis every day.  We hear, but we don’t really listen with the intent to understand or attach any significance to what is going on.  But a little active listening can go a long way towards building successful relationships.
One of the biggest hurdles we have in communicating with others is when we fool ourselves into thinking that communication has actually taken place.  We talk and we talk; we are pretty sure that we have gotten through, mostly because we have made sure we got our say in.  And then we may listen – or more accurately we hear but we don’t really listen because we are busy formulating our response or we have simply moved on to the point we want to make.
Stephen Covey once observed that
most people don’t listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply.

Our Own Agenda

Too often we are concerned with our own agenda than we are with achieving any kind of understanding in a communication.
As leaders, one of the most important things we do; whether we are a leader in the workplace, a leader in the community, or a even a leader in our home, one of the most important things we do is listen to others to achieve understanding.  When we do that, we can help others reach their goals.  When we help others reach their goals, then our goals become possible as well.
[snaptweet]Nothing shows love, respect, and esteem more than a careful listening ear.  When we listen with others, we treat them with esteem and we able to achieve more because we build better relationships.[/snaptweet]

So here’s a few things that will help you become a more active listener today and achieve better results:

  1. LOOK AT THE SPEAKER – I’m easily distracted and will be engaged in conversation while looking at a computer screen or something in the distance that has caught my eye.  You need to take the time to focus on the person and you can do that easiest when you are looking at them.
  2. DECIDE NOT TO REPLY IMMEDIATELY – Often we are too busy formulating a response to really hear what is being said.  By deciding not make an immediate response, you free yourself up to listen and understand.
  3. KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS IN CHECK – Once our emotions take over we often shut down and we are too busy reacting emotionally to really hear what is being said.  The more you control that, the more you can listen to really understand before you respond.
  4. ASK QUESTIONS – Even if you think you know what they are going to say, asking questions can help clarify things.
  5. PROVIDE FEEDBACK TO UNDERSTAND – Paraphrase what the speaker has said and put it in your own words to ensure that there is shared meaning.  If you got it wrong they will correct you and if you got right they will confirm it.

Chances are you have a meeting or will interact with someone today.  Pick one activity to work on; for example, focus on looking at the speaker and dropping distractions.  See how it works.   How did it work for you?

Recipe Disaster

Caramel FlanOne of the things I like to do to relax is cook.  A couple of years ago I decided to make a special treat for everyone and I wanted to make a Caramel Flan for dessert.  Now I had never made one before and so I had to find a recipe and follow it closely.  One of the ingredients in the recipe was one cap (capfull) of Vanilla Extract.  Well, I misread the recipe and thought it said one cup of Vanilla Extract.  I thought that was extraordinary but the recipe must be right.  So I had to run to store and buy more vanilla and added one cup of Vanilla Extract to the mix.
Well, as you may guess, the result was horrible.  The smell and taste of the vanilla was so overpowering that no one could eat it and we had to throw it out!
I had the right ingredients but I didn’t have them in the right balance.

Seeking Balance

As an entrepreneur, as a small businessman, and as a leader we make those choices for balance on a daily basis.  We recognize the importance of balance but it is very hard to achieve.
We need to keep things in perspective and understand first of all that you are never going to achieve perfect balance in our lives.  There are always going to be things that happen daily that tip the scale one way or the other.  No matter how good our plans are, life will get in the way of our quest to achieve balance.
What’s important to us is progress, not perfection.

Right Ingredients, Right Mix

A key to making progress is having the right ingredients in the right mixture.
  • The right skills in the right quantities
  • The right knowledge and information we need to make good decisions
  • The right spirtual foundation
  • The right team members around us
  • The right environment
Again, understand it will be a continual struggle. We want progress and not perfection.  You will make balance choices each day and the scales will tip first to one side and then the other.  The real balance is in the choices of how we spend our time and where it is most important to spend it now.  Being consistent with those choices will help move us towards balance.

[snaptweet]

Don’t try to balance your life; work, home, church, community, friends. Instead, try to be consistent. Consistency seeks its own balance.

[/snaptweet]

Here’s a few things that will help you along towards making progress on achieving balance:
  1. Establish priorities in advance – when your priorities are clear, decisions about where to spend your time become easier.
  2. Gather an effective team – Without the support of people around you, you tend to view yourself as indispensable.  When you do that, leaving work becomes harder to do.  A good team gives you confidence.
  3. Seek wise counsel to give you perspective – We all need someone to take our blinders off and see other points of view.
  4. Find an accountability partner – Someone to help hold your responsible for your commitments.  Someone who is preferably not your spouse or business partner.

Have you achieved balance? What things do you do on a daily basis to balance you life?

Leaving a Legacy

Most people think about legacy.  They think about living on, making a lasting impression.  They place it in buildings, programs, and offspring.  But do they really know what a legacy is?
A legacy is something that carries on; something that continues on.  It is something that goes beyond our time and makes a difference and an impact on the world in some way, shape, or form.  Anybody can be a flash-in-the-pan, but it takes somebody with background and with depth to create a lasting legacy.

What does that have to do with business or being a leader?

It’s because the impact we want to make in this world…if you’re a small businessperson and you went into business because you want to make a difference, not just make a buck (although that’s nice too).  If you are a leader, it’s because you want to make an impact in the lives of other people.  You thought you could bring a team together and make great things happen.  And those great things need to go beyond just you.
That’s what building a legacy is all about and that’s why it is critical for us to look to develop a legacy.
Jackie RobinsonIf you have seen the movie 42, it is about the integration of Major League Baseball.  Branch Rickey, the General Manager of the Brooklyn Dodgers, brought Jackie Robinson in as the first black man in Major League Baseball.
Think about the difference that has had on the world!  Today, baseball is fully integrated.  Every year, on one day in April, every player on every team wears the number 42 to commemorate the impact of Jackie Robinson on this world.  In fact, Jackie Robinson said it best:
[snaptweet]A life isn’t significant except for the impact that it has on others.[/snaptweet]
At the end of all of this, money is not going to be a legacy.  Buildings aren’t going to be a legacy.  Even heritage isn’t going to be a legacy.
[snaptweet]The real legacy you are going to leave is the lasting impact you have that goes well beyond the time that you are around.[/snaptweet]
Whether that is a team that continues to function and perform after you have left it; or the lives that you leave around after you have gone from this Earth.
John Maxwell said that at the end of your life people will summarize you life in one sentence.  Pick it now!

Here’s some things you can do to look to leave a lasting legacy with other people:

  1. MODEL THE LIFE – Develop yourself to be a model for others.  You can probably think of people whose lives have had an impact on you; who helped you become the person you are today or become more than the person you are today.  You need to do the same thing for others; engaging in a life and engaging in behaviors that other people look at and want to model.
  2. SEEK TO MENTOR – Actively seek out others you can mentor and guide.  Not everyone will be open to that, not everyone is going to be ready and willing to seek the help of a mentor. That’s part of the search process – actively seeking out and connecting with people who can mentor and bring along to help create your legacy.
  3. GIVE WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED – Pour yourself into the people you have chosen to mentor and mentor them with no conditions.

What’s your next step to leave your legacy?

The Animal Nature of Nurture

One of the benefits of living in Central Florida is all the attractions around here.  One of the attractions, of course, is Sea World.  Sherry and I love to watch the animal trainers work with the animals at Sea World. It’s really interesting how they can do so well with it.  There seems to be a very special relationship with the animal and many a trainer will tell you exactly that.
Recently I discovered how they are able to work with them so effectively.  When an animal trainer is going to work extensively with an animal, it is critical during a developmental time that the trainer spend one-on-one time with the animal.
  • They will feed the animal
  • They make physical contact
  • They talk to the animal and encourage it.

This nurturing, one-on-one time allows the animal and the trainer to build reciprocal trust.  The reciprocal trust and the nurturing that allow the trainer and animal to be able to work together effectively and safely.

The Human Nature of Nurture

As humans, we aren’t any different.  We need nurturing ourselves.
  • We are all desperate for people to recognize that we are significant
  • We want them to recognize that we have an impact.
  • We want them to encourage us
  • We want them to guide us.

We all need that.

Giving Nurture

The flip side is that we all have the ability to nurture other people, it doesn’t come out naturally.  It has to be intentional and it has to be developed over time.
Why would I want to bother to do that in a business environment or as a leader?
When we are able to nurture people, we are able to connect with people.  When we can connect with people, we can build our influence with them.  When you can build our influence, then you can help them get the most out of themselves.  That’s what we want to able to do as a leader or businessperson: get the most out of others.
[snaptweet]”People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”[/snaptweet]
John Maxwell

Here’s some things you can do to build those nurturing relationships:

  1. COMMIT TO PEOPLE – you have to be committed to their development.  It doesn’t mean you are an enabler, it doesn’t mean that you take over their lives; it simply means that you provide the circumstances and that you are committed to helping them help themselves if they are willing to take the steps to go in the right direction.
  2. BELIEVE IN PEOPLE – If you don’t believe that they can become better or that they can achieve greater things, then you are not going to be able to get anything out of them because that belief will show through.  Whether you believe they are worthless or believe they are worthwhile, it will show through in everything you do.
  3. GIVE WITH NO CONDITIONS – Pour yourself into them and do it without setting any conditions.  A lot of people thing that giving is a reciprocal thing; I do something for you and you do something for me.  No conditions here.  Go in and pour yourself into them simply because you want to see them get the best out of themselves.  You will benefit in the long-run but you can’t go into it with the expectation of a tradeoff because there isn’t necessarily going to be one.