Tag: Personal Growth

Focus or Flurry – Is it Urgent?

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Focus Requires Urgent Action

urgent focusAll week the topic has been focus; the importance of focus and where you place your focus, the difference between being productive vs just being busy (focus or flurry), and I shared my personal story of how I am learning to focus my efforts in specific areas instead of trying to be all things to all people.  I believe that personal growth is the first step in the process for everyone.  Without recognizing that intentional personal growth is critical to your success, you leave “money on the table” in terms of how much more of your potential you can realize.  You may even leave real money on the table by shorting yourself on growth.  So, my focus will be on helping you grow and part of that is focusing on what you really want to achieve.

I have been impressed with the urgency of doing.  Knowing is not enough, we must apply.  Being willing is not enough, we must do.

Leonardo Da Vinci

What is Urgent to You?

What are the achievements that have your focus right now?  Do they feel urgent?  If not, you may want to re-evaluate them or their importance.  The problem for most of us is a lack of urgency driving us.  There is always tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.  As Brian Tracy and others put it, so many of us live on Someday Isle.  We talk about our dreams and say, “Someday I’ll…..”  We rationalize away with reasons we can’t start now.  When the economy gets better, when I have a little bit more money, when the administration changes.  It’s not the right time.  The holidays are coming up and nobody cares about this stuff during the holidays.  Wait until after the holidays and come January I will get started.  Then it’s recovering from the holidays.  Then it’s too cold.  Then it’s spring break for the kids.  Then it’s Spring and we should spend some time outdoors before it gets too hot.  Wait until the kids get out of school.  Well, the kids are out of school and underfoot all the time.  Wait until they go back to school.  Then school starts and things are hectic and the school football team is winning and we must go to the games and then the holidays are coming and….there we are all over again.

Urgent Demise

The Law of Diminishing Returns, while originally an economic concept, also applies here in a different way.  The law says that the greater the time span between when you get an idea or come up with a dream and the when you take action on it, the less likely you are to ever do anything at all.  In other words, the longer you wait exponentially increases the chances that you never will.  The longer you wait, the more it becomes just a dream.  It’s hold on you diminishes with each passing day.  That alone should create a sense of urgency for you.

Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value.

Jim Rohn

Urgent Action

So, how do we avoid this?  Mel Robbins, author of Stop Saying You’re Fine, tells people to apply the five-second rule.  No, the not the one having to do with food dropped on the floor.  In this case, the five second rule mandates that you must take action on an idea within five seconds of having the idea.

urgent act nowIt doesn’t have to be necessarily massive action.

In fact, most of the time it is simply writing down on paper the first step you have to take to move forward and then set a deadline date.

Just that simple action, executed within five seconds after conceiving the idea, greatly increases your chances of doing that first action.

Many say that are waiting for inspiration or until they “feel motivated”.

It will never happen.  Motivator and Success Trainer Frank Tibolt says

We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing.  Action always generates inspiration.  Inspiration almost never generates action.

Decide to take action.  Little bits add up as long as you keep it up.  Start now.  Make it urgent.

Action Plan

  • What is the one thing you have always wanted to do?  What is one thing you can do right away to move closer to it?

Focus or Flurry – A Personal Lesson in Purpose

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Three Years of Focus AND Flurry

failure - lack of focus purposeAlmost three years ago I began this journey to have my own business.  I felt it was my purpose to help others learn to become better leaders and better team members.  I joined a program to be certified by John Maxwell (one of my mentors) as a leadership coach and become a Founding Partner of the John Maxwell Team of independent coaches.  While I have seen some victories, it has not become the overnight, overwhelming success I imagined it to be.  Which doesn’t mean it won’t be, just not necessarily on the timetable I originally envisioned.

It’s my own fault; every bit of it.  Lack of real focus and a flurry of activity in multiple directions.  Friends and family who mean well try to give me an out and mention that the economy is down, small businesses all over are struggling.  It’s not your fault.  But it is.

Not Giving Up

Let me be clear:  I am not calling it quits.  I still firmly believe I was meant to do this and will continue to try to do it until I am physically or mentally unable to.  However, it’s important to recognize where you have failed and even more importantly, how you can learn from that failure.  My two biggest failures have been lack of real focus and lack of strong purpose.

There have been other failures as well.  Lack of a real solid plan for getting and keeping clients, lack of a comprehensive marketing plan, poor money management, etc.  Passion sometimes blinds us to the realities of life.  Just because I have something to say that can help others doesn’t necessarily mean they will beat down the door.

Choose Growth to Find Purpose and Focus

Reading John Maxwell’s latest book, Sometimes You Win, Sometimes You Learn has helped me put this in perspective.  I can mope and whine about my great failures or I can learn my lessons from it and move forward and do better.

I choose to learn and grow and get better.  So my purpose of sharing all this with you today isn’t to bemoan my failures and give up; in fact, quite the opposite.  I will grow stronger and become more effective and that will equip me even more to add value to you going forward.

failure - focus purposeSo what are my lesson learned and what am I doing about it?  Here’s a brief summary:

  • Enrolled in a marketing training program to become a better marketer of my services.  I am using ActionPlan.com and highly recommend Robert Middleton as he makes this easy to understand and has excellent hands-on experiences.
  • Narrowing my focus and defining my purpose.  There are thousands of leadership coaches out there.  What can I do that is unique and provides value?  After blogging every day now for over a month, I am finding myself focusing a great deal on personal growth qualities and most of my work going forward will focus on that.
  • Re-structuring of systems I use to acquire contacts and maintain communication with them

The biggest lesson which I really had to wrap my head around:  IT IS OKAY TO FAIL AND EVEN TO FAIL REPEATEDLY as long as you learn.  Thomas Edison while trying to invent the lightbulb failed almost 100o times before he achieved success.  Someone asked him how it felt to fail so many times and Edison replied

I didn’t fail 999 times, I simply learned 999 ways to NOT make a lightbulb!

Let’s move forward together and look forward to our failures!  Let’s learn and grow and succeed together!

Action Plan

  • Where you have failed big recently?  What have your learned from it?  Spend some time thinking on the lessons you could or should learn.
  • Who can you team up with to help you see perspective and gain accountability for growing?  If you can’t think of anyone, call me at 321-355-2442.

 

Focus or Flurry? Busy But Why Aren’t You Getting Anywhere?

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Focus or Flurry – Too Busy

Non-stop from the moment you get up until it’s time to put your head on the pillow.  Personal and professional schedules often overlap.  You spend a good amount of time driving from location to location.  Sometimes you cut activities short in order to rush on to the next one.  When you are ready for bed you are totally exhausted and can’t seem to catch up on rest.

too busyYou probably know someone like this.  You may BE someone like this.  It is tell-tale symptoms of someone who is too busy.

There is nothing wrong with being busy.  Busy keeps us active and keeps us from wasting time focusing on the negatives of our lives.  It’s not being busy that is the issue, it’s HOW we are being busy.  Are we busy with things that are targeted or are we simply busy with activities?  Busyness that is not targeted and purpose-driven can lead to a distinct feeling of emptyness.  We are so busy that we must be getting somewhere, but why does it still feel incomplete.  Our busyness has no real meaning.  We spend our time in flurry.

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.”   Socrates

“It is not enough to be busy.  Even the ants do that.  The question is: what are we busy about?”
Henry David Thoreau

Not sure if you are one of those who are too busy?  Here are 7 signs that you are too busy:

  1. You are always surviving.  You can’t remember what open time on your calendar looked like or the last time you were ahead of schedule.
  2. Meals coincide or overlap with other events.  If you don’t have time to sit down and simply enjoy a little family meal time or quiet meal time, that’s definitely a sign.
  3. You tend to be tired even in the mornings.  You can get rest from all the flurry.
  4. You can’t remember the last time you read a book.
  5. You have interruptions to your interruptions.
  6. You cannot consistently set aside a time-frame for a specific activity, like exercise.
  7. You do not engage in intentional, daily growth

Focus or Flurry – Making the Change

We must make the transformation from being too busy to being productively busy.  We have to move from flurry to focus.  And it starts with the decision to do so.  You must resolve that you are tired of being tired, you are fed up with not getting where you want to be.  It doesn’t solve your problems, but it helps provide the resolve you are going to need to implement this.

Action Plan

Create calendar blocks.  Each block should be at least an hour preferably but certainly no less than 30 minutes each.  You won’t need to block every waking moment, you are simply trying to make sure that you set aside specific activity blocks.  You will protect these blocks ruthlessly, letting nothing short of real emergencies (spurting blood, sinkholes, hurricanes, earthquakes) get in the way.  You need these blocks labelled on your daily calendar:

  1. Spiritual Time.  I call this devotional time but you can call it what you want.  The point is you need daily time dedicated to developing your spiritual life.  This helps make everything else better, it is THAT critical.  Ideally, this is your first block of the day.  Get up earlier if need be to have time for it.  I find that’s what works best for me, before everyone else gets up to have my devotional time.  If you have kids, it’s even better to let them see you engaged in this daily as it also encourages them to develop the habit.
  2. Hard Time.  This block is set aside for doing things you know you need to do that day but avoid and postpone until it is too late to do them.  Set aside time for it and strictly do not allow yourself to do anything else during that time frame until the hard thing is done.
  3. Personal Growth Time.  A block designed for you to intentionally grow yourself.  Remember my 1% rule:  if you simply grow yourself intentionally by 1% a day you will see exponential results.
  4. Reading Time.  Do nothing but read.  Magazines or trade journals, books, white papers.  Do not spend this time on the newspaper or social media.  We want reading time that feeds us.
  5. Me Time.  A block where no one else but you is your concern.  Do whatever you want as long as it isn’t for someone else.  You need this for your sanity and balance.

One Thing – Why Being Busy Isn’t Necessarily Being Effective

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The Wisdom of Curly: One Thing

one thingOne of the scenes practically everyone remembers from the movie City Slickers is when Curly (played by Jack Palance) is talking with Mitch (played by Billy Crystal) about his view on life.  The following conversation ensues:

Curly: Do you know what the secret of life is?   [holds up index finger]   This.

Mitch: Your finger?

Curly: One thing. Just one thing. You stick to that and the rest don’t mean s***.

Mitch: But, what is the “one thing?”

Curly: [smiles] That’s what *you* have to find out.

Curly, the old cowhand, knew it while the radio executive had not yet figured it out.

[SPOILER ALERT]  Eventually he does.

Busy Lives without that One Thing

What’s your schedule like?  Is it filled with focus or filled with events?  We book our calendar with things to do and it is typically a wide variety of things.  We may support a variety of non-profit organizations, take the kids here and there to piano lessons, dance class, Scout meetings, football or baseball practice, soccer, lacrosse.  We have committee meetings at church, the house needs straightening up, we have meetings in the office, a lunch appointment, gotta fix dinner, gotta check our Facebook page, gotta scan the news, attend a webinar we heard was good.  Somewhere in there we may decide to say hello to our Significant Other and then watch a little (or a lot) of TV.  What’s our One Thing?

We are busy, but are we really getting where we want to go?  Are we getting the most out of the moment?  Are we learning to focus our energy?

One Thing We Are Gifted For

The urgent message behind the Wisdom of Curly is that ONE THING.  To be truly effective, to utilize more of our potential, we must focus on the one thing that truly fills us.  It is the thing we were created for.  We were particularly and UNIQUELY gifted for this one thing and somewhere deep inside of us is a passion for the one thing.  The two must coincide; you cannot be gifted for something without having a passion for it.  It may have been suppressed or even trained out of you by your environment, but deep inside you is that passion for that ONE THING!

If you really want to get the most out of your life, you must draw more focus onto that ONE THING.  If you know what it is, you must devote more resources to developing it and exploiting it (exploiting in this case is a good thing).  If you don’t know what it is, you need to spend time searching and finding it.

“What?!” you say, “find time for SOMETHING ELSE to do?  I just don’t have any more time!”

You don’t have to time to NOT do it!  Anything else, if you are not leveraging your ONE THING, is wasted effort.

Focus Not Flurry

target - one thing focus not flurryThe secret, I believe, is in Focus and Not Flurry.  Stop being caught up in a never-ending flurry of activity and start being concentrated on establishing or optimizing that ONE THING.  Now, some busy things in life are unavoidable; shopping still needs to get done, meals still need to be cooked, some meetings are inevitable, charities still need our help (although this could use focus too), and the kids still need to go places.  But the last two are good examples of flurry instead of focus.  I see many people get involved in a wide variety of charitable activities, dabbling here and there but never really digging in to one.  Pick ONE, maybe two at the most, and focus your energy on serving them as best you can.

Additionally, in our earnest ambition to give our kids the best opportunity to succeed, we overbook them in an expanse of activities that we end up investing a lot of time and money into and become a shuttle for moving them around from place to place.  And so, we ingrain in them also the mindset of FLURRY instead of FOCUS.  They become a jack of all trades and we wonder why they don’t settle down and DO SOMETHING as they get older.  They have had no time to develop a real passion for anything before we moved them on to the next conquest.  They need exactly what we need: FOCUS NOT FLURRY.

They need that ONE THING.

You need that ONE THING.

Go get it!

Action Plan

  1. Do you know what your ONE THING is?  If not, start today to identify it.  Seek help from a coach.  They can help you identify strengths and passions that may be hidden.
  2. If you know your ONE THING, decide on something you will do daily to work on it.

 

 

Why Pollyanna Was Right – Positive Thinking

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How to Get Better Ideas

positive thinking yields brighter ideasWho gets better ideas, the positive person or the negative person?  A traditional saying is that “necessity is the mother of invention”; in other words, great ideas are spurred by need.  On the surface, that seems negative but actually the opposite is true.  Taking action happens from a positive attitude.  The negative attitude simply sees the need but the positive attitude not only sees the need but also believes fully that there is a solution if they only look long enough and hard enough to find it.  The negative person gives up, the positive person gives more.

I also believe BETTER ideas come from a positive attitude.  The positive thinker is outward focused and sees possibilities in every situation.  This ignites the thinking processes that want to find not just the easiest way but the best way and they will look at multiple options; not rejecting anything until they determine which will work best.  The negative thinker looks for the easy way out, doubting that anything will work and why not choose the path of least resistance.  This concept is born out in research, as I noted in yesterdays blog, Bouncing Back.  The positive person is simply in a better position to see options and make the most effective choice.  They are also more likely to execute it, which after all is the point.  No solution works if you don’t implement it.  Earlier in the week I mentioned a quote by Zig Ziglar that applies so well here:

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.”

Pollyanna Was Right

pollyanna showed positive thinking in all situationsMany people use the term Pollyanna-ish to denote an idea or person who seems to be unreasonably positive.  This is based on the book and movie Pollyanna about a girl who goes to live with a relative in a town that is struggling and her constant positive outlook befriends everyone in town.  Many see Pollyanna’s attitude as almost a head in the sand, ignore the bad things and look at the good things attitude and see it as non-productive and certainly not results oriented.  So typically, referring to something as Pollyanna-ish is meant to be a derogatory term.  I think the opposite is true.  It’s not ignoring the situation, it’s simply refusing to accept it as final.  It is always seeing possibilities.  Being a Star Trek fan, I have to try and fit in a quote here from James T. Kirk (paraphrased a bit):

“I don’t believe in a no win scenario. I like to think there are always possibilities.”

A positive attitude allows you to reach high and overcome odds, it allows you to look for and see the best in people instead of the worst.  It also means you EXPECT the best from people and not the worst.  When you expect the best and make that clear in the way you treat people, most will go out of their way to live up to your expectation.  Will some disappoint you and break your heart? Sure, it’s inevitable.  But it is still better than expecting the worst in everyone else, treating them accordingly, and never being surprised or disappointed.  Expecting the worst in others brings out the worst in you.  Expecting the best in yourself and others creates a world of potential and possibilities that the worst can never bring you.

Think about your employees or colleagues in the workplace.  Do you expect the best from them?  Do you show that by treating them with respect, by giving them YOUR best?  Do you make your expectations clear?  How do you support them?  Encourage them?  Equip them?  As soon as you believe in possibilities and show that daily, they will too and it will show as they strive to constantly meet your expectations.

Action Plan

  1. Apply the thought “always possibilities” to a particular problem you are facing.
  2. Think about how you can give your best to your employees or colleagues. Determine your first step and do it.
  3. How can you communicate your expectations without being aggressive or offensive?

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