How to Achieve Clarity in a Foggy World

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Driving Through the Fog

If you have ever driven a car, you have likely had the experience of driving through heavy fog.

Building a business, building a career, and building a life can feel a lot like that. In fact, that’s precisely the problem for many people; they spend their time navigating through the fog.

A businessman with no real direction who leaps at the next new thing to offer in the hopes for profits that turn the business
The person goes all in to the next scheme guaranteed to make them millions
The girl or guy who obsesses over the next person they think will truly make them happy.

It’s a mirage in fog.

Many people make decisions when things aren’t going well. They look for relief in the despair of the valley instead of waiting for the clarity that comes from being on the mountaintop. And when you’re experiencing the darkness of the valley, it’s always tempting to make changes that you hope will relieve the discomfort. -John C. Maxwell

Finding Your Way Clear

Successful people have CLARITY. The path is clear in front of them and they are joyfully on their journey. And while they path may wind, the hills may seem steep, and the road gets rocky on occasion; they forge ahead with determination because they can see where they are going. How do you achieve this clarity in your life or career or business?

[snaptweet]It’s not the problems that make YOUR life song so special, it’s the clarity you get when you determine to see your way through it.[/snaptweet]

Key Elements to Achieve Clarity:

KNOW YOUR CORE VALUES – Know what you stand for. Know what defines are the very core of your organization or core of your person exactly what has to factor in to every decision you make and everything you do. Honesty and integrity are key core values that you want to integrate into everything you do.
DEFINE YOUR PURPOSE – What are you driven to do, what do you want to accomplish. Here’s a tip: if it takes more than a sentence, then you haven’t fully defined your purpose.
VISUALIZE THE END OF THE ROAD – See where it is you are trying to go.
KEEP AN EYE ON THE PATH IN FRONT OF YOU – That’s where you are going to encounter those rocky roads and if you spend all your time looking ahead, the roadblocks in front of you may stop you before you can get there.

One Thing You Can Do NOW to Grow

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How Grows It?

So tell me how your personal growth journey is going.

Or more to the point…is it going?

Do you have a definitive plan? Is it written down on paper (or computer)? That alone is a great start.

Get Out of Your Head

Ask most people and they will tell you they have a plan but it’s all in their head. If you manage to get it out of them, you will find the plans vague at first. Not good enough.

Get out of your head and into your greatness. –Les Brown

Your personal growth plan has to be written down and it has to be specific. Not just what you want to do but by when and how. You can’t hit a target you can’t see.

But even that is not enough. You have to actually act upon that plan. This part can seem very overwhelming to most people because they see all that they have to do to reach their goal and it seems like so much that they get discouraged and just give up. Is that where you are? I know I have been there many times.

Bit by Bit

To overcome this, it helps to break it down. As they old saying goes you eat an elephant one bite at a time. Focus on what you can do right now to get a little closer to your goal. To become a better leader, connect better with people, build better relationships, learn to increase your influence; whatever your personal growth goals are they can be broken down into daily activities.

Become a 1%er

So think 1%.

Focus on growing yourself just 1% a day.

That’s a fairly easy thing to do. If you grow yourself by just one percent a day, then think about this: over one year you will have grown yourself 365 percent. Actually even more than that because it is exponential; one percent on one percent on one percent and so on. So if you focus on that one percent and do that on a daily basis, then you are going to get much closer to your goal.

Every day do something that will inch you closer to a better tomorrow. -Doug Fireball

Pick It and Plan It

Start with WHAT you are going to do daily to grow. Read a book, attend an online seminar, practice a particular skill. You need to have a specific activity. Random doesn’t work. When we are specific, we choose activities that actually lead us where we want to go. Random leads us anywhere.

I’m a big fan of what Zig Ziglar called “Automobile University“. Buy CD’s ( or use your MP3 player) and listen to learn. Motivational recordings, instructional programs, books on audio; there is a never ending supply. You can even borrow some from the public library.

Did you know that if you subscribe to Success Magazine (and you should) that there is a CD in every issue with tips and guidance from thought leaders?

Whatever you choose, stick with it until you finish it. And most importantly, schedule it. Your commute to work is ideal for this.

Become a 1%er today and move closer to achieving your goals.

Three Steps to Creating External Focus

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No Success Without External Focus

Success can be a very elusive thing. It’s daunting, frustrating, it seems to quite often be just out of reach.

We desire success and pursue it, yet somehow success keeps getting away just before we catch it.

mouse seeks a cookie video - success focus

Elusive Success

There is a video on YouTube that was popular for a while and went viral. It shows a mouse attempting to steal a cookie that is twice the size of the mouse and take it back to his hiding place. We can begin to feel like this mouse must have felt as attempt after attempt resulted in failure. This grand prize and yet we can’t bring it home.

Is Success the Focus?

Success can elusive, especially when we focus on success alone.

And that’s the problem.

When we focus simply on being a success, it’s very hard to be a success. Because that’s all it becomes about. Our dreams can make us focus on the inside sometimes, but that’s not what dreams are meant to do.

Our dreams aren’t meant to add value to us, our dreams are meant to add value to other people.

So if you learn to point your dreams and your actions outwardly – if you get an external focus – and learn how to care about other people, learn to focus on other people with your dreams, then you are going to see significantly more success than what you have seen in the past – all by creating an external focus.

When we place our focus on others, we learn to love others. We learn to care for others. We get to know their stories. We get to know their hopes and dreams. We begin to see value in them.

When we see value in people, we are then in a position to add value to them.

By adding value to others, we create value in ourselves. Once that happens, success will follow AS LONG AS WE REMAIN OPEN TO RECEIVING THE VALUE OTHERS WANT TO GIVE US.

But if we focus only on success, it remains out of reach.

Success, you see, is not a goal or a direct result of organized actions. Success is a by-product of our behaviors, attitudes, and actions on behalf of those we have chosen to serve. When we combine the power of our unique gifts and apply them to add value to other people – to create significance in their lives – success is a natural result.

Action Steps

Here’s a few thing to get you started in that direction:

CARE FOR THE PEOPLE YOU ENCOUNTER. Whether you encounter them once in a lifetime or whether you encounter them on a daily basis, learn to care for those people. Learn to connect with them. To find out more about them. To be naturally curious about other people. And from that, you are going to be able to seek to add value to other people to make a difference in their lives.
LISTEN TO PEOPLE. Listen to their concerns, listen to what their dreams are.
SHARE YOUR DREAM WITH THEM. You may be able to build relationships out of that which may seem to be a one-time thing but become lifelong, mutually beneficial relationships. People can’t add value to you unless you open up to them and make yourself vulnerable by sharing your passions and dreams.

If you need help getting started or even continuing your journey, I would love the opportunity to walk along side you. Call me at 321-355-2442 and let’s see how I can help.

Why Gratitude Makes Things Happen

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Gratitude No Matter What

It’s been a weird week. Holidays tend to get in the way of other things sometimes and we had a few things pop up to throw monkey wrenches into the works. My Mother-in-Law had a little stint in the hospital this week and that required immediate attention and schedule adjustment. On Thanksgiving Day I managed to put a deep cut on my hand that required 7 stitches at the Emergency Room and that also threw our schedule way off. To be fair, I did get a blog post done as a guest on another blog (Linked2Leadership, see it here) but not much here.

I mention this not to excuse myself, but rather as a reflection. Because you see despite all the disturbances in our week, the family was able to spend time together and to celebrate Thanksgiving and share a large, very filling meal. Rather than harp on the inconveniences, we instead focus on the good and positive things that happened.

That’s what gratitude is all about. Gratitude in practically the ultimate in positive thinking. It doesn’t ignore the fact that there are problems, it doesn’t disregard that we are not where we wish to be or who we wish to be, it rejoices in what we have been blessed with so far, no matter how big or small. That in turns gives us hope and leaves us open to possibilities. It’s not turning a blind eye to our lack, it is opening our eyes to what is.

The Healing Power of Gratitude

Gratitude produces a healing power and, even more so, an almost miraculous circumstance of making better things happened. Norman Vincent Peale discovered this in his own journey dealing with some very persistent issues in his life. He observed

[snaptweet]In some unfathomable way, the acknowledgment of past blessings seems to be the activator of blessings.[/snaptweet]

When he focused on gratitude for how he was blessed in the past and blessed in the present, he found more blessings arriving his way.

Gratitude or Lack?

Too often, we have a lack mentality. We focus too much on what we don’t have, what we haven’t accomplished, the traits we were shorted, the things we were denied. The more we keep our minds fixed on what we don’t have, the more we tend to believe that not only do we not have it but we don’t deserve it. We also close our minds to any circumstance around us that may provide an opportunity to change things. We close things out and instead draw all of our focus strictly on what we lack. We project into every other circumstance. We can’t have, we can’t do, we can’t be because we lack money, because we lack skills, because we lack the right situation or timing or luck. We then ignore opportunities, resources, and situations the present themselves to help us dig out of that pit.

There is the old story of a flood that hits a town. One man, finding the water rising so high, climbs up on the roof of his house and prays to God to save him. “Lord, please,” he says, ” just rescue me from this desperate situation!” After a short-time, a neighbor comes by in a canoe and tells him, “I’ve got room! Climb in and let’s get to safety!” The man tells him, “No, I’m waiting for God to save me!” The water continues to rise up the roof, almost covering it. A woman comes along in boat and says, “Let me help you. Get in and let’s go before the water gets much higher!” The man says, “No, I am waiting for God to save me!” Eventually, the water has covered the roof completely and is so high it is up to his knees. A helicopter flies in overhead and a voice on a megaphone says, “I’ll lower a ladder! You can climb up to safety!” The man refuses, “God is going to save me!” The water rises to his chest now and in desperation he cries out, “Lord, I asked you to save me! Now I’m doomed! All is lost! Why haven’t you helped me?” A voice booms out, “I sent you a canoe, a boat, and a helicopter. What more do you want!”

Gratitude Out Loud

Gratitude, when properly practiced, becomes a way of life and a way of thinking. Instead of lack mentality is promotes abundance mentality. Some would call it pollyannaish. I gladly accept that definition. If you have ever seen the movie, Pollyanna DID make positive things happen around her. What’s wrong with that? The proper practice of gratitude is to engage in it daily. Waiting until the holidays to express gratitude or waiting until one day a week in your church, temple, or mosque to express gratitude is not the appropriate application. That’s called ritual. What we want is authentic, heart-felt thankfulness for how your life has been blessed and how others have influenced you positively. In fact, the key to effective gratitude is to remember that gratitude is loud and persistent. The more often you promptly proclaim your thanksgiving and the more openly your share it, the more blessings multiply and opportunities appear and actions yield results.

[snaptweet]The key to effective gratitude is to remember that gratitude is loud and persistent.[/snaptweet]

The way many people accomplish this is by keeping a gratitude journal. Use a notebook that your carry with you, or use a technology option like Evernote or Penzu, and each day (preferably first thing in the morning) record at least one thing for which you are thankful. It has to be something different each day. Do that for at least 30 days. The first few days will be fairly easy but after that you will have to think about it more. And that’s the idea; you want to spend more time discovering what really does exist in your life as a blessing.

The thing is, a gratitude journal is great for you, but I am a big believer in doing things that not only benefit you but provide value for others as well. With that in mind, a few weeks ago I initiated the Gratitude Live Project. Beginning earlier in November, I invited a select group to join me in the project up until Thanksgiving Day. Each day, each participant would contact someone who had a positive influence in their life and thank them for it. But it wasn’t enough to just say thank you, they had to be very specific about how and why that person influenced them positively. The results were overwhelmingly positive! Everyone found it not only made them more mindful of how others have influenced their life, but the recipients of the gratitude found felt better and more important; they felt like they made a difference! Project members reported the revival and strengthening of relationships! It went so well, I have decided to continue the project indefinitely, but modified out to a weekly instead of daily practice.

Just think, one small expression of gratitude making huge differences in people’s lives. That’s how gratitude makes things happen!

Action Plan

Start your own gratitude journal, beginning today and through to the rest of the year at least. Each day, first thing in the morning (including weekends), write down ONE THING for which you are grateful. Note how your attitude changes and how your connections with others changes as well.
Join me in the Gratitude Live Project. Make a difference in not just your life, but the lives of others as well. There is no charge for this. Click the link to begin.

Faith to Build Something Bigger

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No Faith in Complaints

People like to complain.

“Yeah, Paul,” you might say, “thanks for that big news flash.”

Yes, it’s nothing new. We like to complain. People build monuments to their complaining.

A History of Complaining

Moses leads the Nation of Israel out of slavery in Egypt. No sooner does the Red Sea return to form then the complaints start. They complained there wasn’t enough water. So God gave them water. They complained there wasn’t enough food (I’m HUNGRY!), so God gave them all the manna they could want. So they complained about the lack of variety (Is this all there is?)!. They complained about the long trek in the desert (Are we there yet?). They complained about their leaders, even the ones who not too long ago led them out of slavery (Do you know where we are going? Did you check the map? Shouldn’t you stop at a gas station and ask directions?)!

Come to think of it, they kind of set the precedent for many of the complaints we use today!

Complaining on the Media

Andy Rooney revived his career by acting as a curmudgeon on the TV show 60 Minutes. Every week, Andy would pick a different topic to take off on and complain about. One that always stuck out in my mind was complaining about shampoo and how expensive it is and how it is marketed, stating that all he does is take a little bath soap and rub it in his hair.

Then in 2007 there was this ABC news story about a “complaint choirs“, groups of people who put complaints to music.

There’s actually a website called My Biggest Complaint that documents the popularity of various complaint topics.

Local Complaints

We live in what used to be a rural area, which means wild animals. So one neighbor shortly after we moved in complained about the peacocks wandering the neighborhood and wanted them removed by Animal Control. Uhhhh, why exactly did you move out here?

No Solution in Sight

The problem with complainers is that there is generally very little action behind it. In fact, quite often the complaints about things which nobody can really do anything about. It’s like the old joke that everyone complains about the weather but nobody does anything about it!

People who complain are generally not people who take action. As Edmund Burke once commented

It is a general popular error to imagine the loudest complainers for the public to be the most anxious for its welfare.

Complainers don’t want action, they don’t want resolution. They want to tell everyone about it! If your solve the problem, well, now they can’t tell everyone about it. I mean, seriously, have you ever tried to help a chronic complainer solve a problem. They will resist with every fiber of their being and come up with every reason in the book why it can’t be solved. Why? Because they don’t want it solved, they want to complain. It’s a happy place!

There is Another Breed

You and I are different. We want to take action and solve problems. We want to work towards solutions and help make the world a better place. I certainly remember graduating from college with the arrogant attitude of changing the world with my ideas. After awhile, you discover that the world is not as receptive to your revolutionary ideas for changing themselves as you thought they would be.

Changing the world can be a very daunting task. There is so much to be done! We don’t have enough people to do it or enough time.

Perhaps the problem is that we are so focused on trying to change what we can’t that we forget to change what we can. There is an old verse, no one is quite sure who wrote it, that goes like this

“Build a better world,” God said. I answered, “How?

The world is such a deep, dark place, oh so complicated now;

And I’m so small and useless, there’s nothing I can do.”

But God in all His wisdom said, “Just build a better YOU.”

If we want to change the world, we must first change ourselves. In fact, that should be our focus. And that alone is an extremely challenging task. We are as resistant to change as all those people we tried to change before. But we have to believe that we CAN change. We must have faith that we are capable of making the necessary changes. Faith that we will acquire the wisdom, the courage, the discipline, and the focus to re-invent ourselves and make something new. When we change ourselves substantially, the world around us changes because our perspective changes, our attitude changes, and our approach changes.

If you want to believe in the world and believe in change, you must first have faith in yourself. When you believe in you and your ability to simply serve others, the world will change for you.

Action Plan

Create a list of character traits or characteristics you would like to have or improve; like discipline, focus, finish what you started, etc. Shoot for at least 12 items. Prioritize the list in terms of which ones need the most attention.
For each one, define specifically what the desired behavior would look like. In other words, how do you know when you are disciplined? How do you know when you are focused? Make it measurable if possible.
Try the Benjamin Franklin method of Self-Improvement. I learned this from Bob Burg a while ago and found it very useful. I would make that chart available but don’t own the rights to it; so you will have to make your own. You can probably do this Microsoft Word or Excel.
1. Make a grid chart with the days of the week at the top going across.
2. In a column down the left side list the traits you want to work on in priority order.
3. Attack the first trait in week one. Concentrate on the desired behavior and each day place a check when you are successful. You are building precedent for desired behavior.
4. The next week attack the second trait, while still also being mindful of the first.
5. Keep going until all traits have been addressed, each time being mindful of previous behaviors.
Don’t worry if you falter on occasion; that’s to be expected. What we are shooting for is Progress, not Perfection.