Success Requires People

It’s a fact: no one has achieved any real, lasting success on their own. They have always done it by working with other people.

John Maxwell (Teamwork Makes the Dream Work), Jim Collins (From Good to Great), Ken Blanchard (High Five! The Magic of Working Together) and many others emphasize again and again, both from research and anecdotal evidence, that we are designed to achieve success with and through others. None of us is as smart as all of us.

So if you really want success, you need to work with and through other people.

And that means we need to get along with them.

Respect is the Start to Good Relationships

Respect is crucial to being able to get along with and work effectively with other people.

Herbert Casson once wrote:

“In handling men, there are three feelings that a man must not possess-fear, dislike and contempt. If he is afraid of men he cannot handle them. Neither can he influence them in his favor if he dislikes or scorns them. He must neither cringe nor sneer. He must have both self-respect and respect for others.”

Respect for others means that we truly care for others, we believe in others. We may not always agree with their politics or religion or even their choices, but we care for them and believe in them. Respect means we accept them for what they are now, not as we would hope them to be; even more importantly when they don’t think like we do.

This is the foundation of great marriages, fabulous families, thriving and relevant churches, and productive and effective organizations.

Granting Respect

Many will tell you that respect is earned but it’s not.

[snaptweet]Respect is granted; it is a conscious choice of the respecter to the respected.[/snaptweet]

You can do all the good and positive things in your life you want and there will be some who simply WILL NOT RESPECT YOU.

Does that mean you didn’t earn it?

Not necessarily; they may have simply refused to grant it.

Some will grant respect until you prove unworthy of it, based either on your position or standing or simply because of who they are as opposed to who you are. I tend to fall into this category.

Others require proof that you are worthy of respect and even power, position, or standing or status will not get you their respect until you can demonstrate your worthiness. I have always found this position to be kind of self-serving. I would rather have you prove me wrong for respecting you than spend a lot of time trying to meet an undeclared, usually unreachable, bar to earn my respect.

Self-respect then becomes critical because we can’t possibly respect others unless we respect ourselves. If we don’t measure up, then no one else does either. People who have low self-respect will never really respect others because they see no value in the relationship–because they see no value in themselves. Many who demand you earn their respect fall into this category.

Respect yourself, grant respect to others and you are well on your way to working effectively with others and achieving your dreams.

Keys to apply today:

DEVELOP YOUR SELF-RESPECT – Find the good in yourself. Write a list of what’s good about yourself.
BE A GOOD FINDER – It is easier to like and care for others when you focus on whats good about them.
Pick one person you encounter daily. Write down what you like about that person. Even the most obnoxious have something. If you can’t find anything, then the problem is you need to go back to number 1 because if you can’t find the good in yourself you can’t possibly find the good in others! Call them, write them a note or an email or visit in person and tell them how you appreciate them for those things you like about them.