Tag: Success

Why a Positive Attitude is Hard: Negative People

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A Negative People Morning

negative newsI don’t usually do this, but this morning I turned on the TV first thing and turned to the news.  What we were looking for was anything about the federal budget and possible government shutdown.  My wife, Sherry, works for the federal government and would likely be taking a break for a while if the government shuts down.  While she would eventually get paid, if it goes for any length of time that is income we don’t have.

On Facebook and other social media, where there never seems to be an end to the political experts anxious to share their opinions with you, there have been all kinds of commentary about this event and most of it negative.  It’s unavoidable as we live in a negative world.

Don’t Let Negative People Define You

But you and I, we are positive people.  We believe in keeping a positive attitude.  And in this negative world, even having a positive attitude can have a bad rap.  Over the years, I have read and listened to plenty of Norman Vincent Peale and many others who remind us and equip us to have a positive attitude in everything we do.  The negative clans are quick to attack this attitude as a head in the sand approach, or a Pollyanna note outlook on life, or looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.  According to them, we fail to face the realities of life; or at least reality as defined by them.

In truth, having a positive attitude is none of these things.  We don’t hide our heads hoping bad things will just go away.  We don’t ignore the challenges of this world or government shutdowns or bad economies or falling job markets.  We simply refuse to let them define our lives; we stay true to who we are, what we are, and whose we are.  Maintaining a positive attitude doesn’t mean we ignore the world; quite the contrary.  We see the world and we intend to change it!  And we start with ourselves!

Our biggest battle will be the negative people who surround us.  Make no mistake about it, NEGATIVE PEOPLE SUCK!  They just suck the life right out of you and your hopes and dreams.  And they will hammer their message at you continually trying to break you down until you think like they do.  You have heard that misery loves company?  Believe it!  They want you on their side.

avoid negative people, stay positiveDon’t be Anakan, be Luke!  Refuse to cross over to the dark side!

Getting Away from the Influence of Negative People

So how to do we avoid letting negative people impact our lives?  Ultimately, it’s going to rely on your will and desire to stay positive, but here’s a few things that will help.

  1. Stop watching the news!  I mentioned at the beginning that I almost never turn on the TV news in the morning.  It’s not that I am trying to ignore what’s happening in the world, it’s just that I don’t see the need to fill my mind with the full-force negativity of broadcast news.
  2. When a negative thinker starts to share their downer philosophy of life, don’t agree with them.  At the time, it will seem like the quickest and easiest way to get ride of them, but it’s not.  As soon as you agree with them, they think they have an ally and will be coming to you more often.
  3. Don’t argue with a negative thinker; you can’t win.  If you disagree, they want to engage in an argument and come up with more reasons why you should believe they way they do.  Negative doesn’t give up that easy.
  4. Don’t minimize their complaints either.  If you minimize it, they will simply try to come up with more reasons why they are right.
  5. Be sympathetic to what they are saying, but try to re-direct them more to the task at hand.
  6. Always be on a deadline.  “I understand how you are feeling, it must be frustrating.  Please excuse me, I need to focus on this project right now because I gotta have it done by the end of the day.”  The more that you can do that, the more leverage it gives you to excuse yourself away from those situations.
  7. Seek affirmations.  That negative input is going to impact you so you need to seek positive affirmations that are going to help build up your positive thoughts again so you can stay focused on your goals.

Action Plan

  1. Starting tonight, read or listen to something positive just before you go to bed.  Ideally, a self-affirmation script is key because it plants positive thoughts into the subconscious that burned in while you sleep.  It also gets anything negative off your mind before you put you head on the pillow.
  2. Starting tomorrow, read or listen to something positive immediately after you wake up.  Don’t turn on the TV; at least not yet.  Motivational recordings or books, or simply look yourself in the mirror and remind yourself that you are going to have a great day, that you will overcome any obstacles that get in your way, that you will love and care for your family and friends, that you will take care of all your big rocks on the day and add value to everyone you meet.
  3. Avoid the negative thinkers by focusing on the task at hand.  ALWAYS have something to do that requires your immediate attention.
P.S.  While people use the term Pollyanna negatively, as if to assert that being optimistic and looking for the good is wrong,  I have never had an issue with this.  Call me a Pollyanna, I embrace it gladly!

Does a Positive Attitude Really Matter?

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Positive Attitude = Positive Results

Zig Ziglar warns about “stinkin’ thinkin’” and “hardening of the attitude“.  Norman Vincent Peale refers to “empty hearts and empty minds” who take on a defeatist position.  Tony Robbins cautions you to avoid seeing the garden as overrun by “weeds“.  John Maxwell, Ken Blanchard, and the list goes on, all talk about the overwhelming difference that attitude can make.  More importantly, they speak to how a negative attitude yields nothing but negative results.

positive thinking gets better results

Conversely, to the person they will also tell you that a positive attitude leads to more positive results.  Zig Ziglar says

“Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will”

And from Peale,

“Change your thoughts and you change your world!”

Tony Robbins:

“We will act consistently with our view of ourselves, whether that view is accurate or not.”

John Maxwell:

“People may hear your words but they feel your attitude.”

Positive Attitude = Riches?

Think positive!Does a positive attitude make you rich overnight?  No, of course not!  The idea behind having a positive attitude isn’t to change your fortunes instantly but to change you instantly and consistently.  When you become consistent in your attitude, it will play out in your actions.  It has to, you can’t help it.  It has to do with what psychologists call “Cognitive Dissonance“.

In simple terms, it means that you cannot think one way and act in an opposite manner on a consistent basis.  

The mind can’t handle it and therefore will either change your thoughts or change your actions to bring consistency.  If you think positively and act negatively (which would include not acting at all), then your mind will adjust one or the other.  In most cases, your mind will side with your actions.  So while we always point out that our actions speak louder to others than our words do, the same is true within us.  What you do speaks louder to your mind that what you say.

Does that mean that we should stop talking positive until we start acting positive?  Not at all!  Because while our actions have more influence with our mind, our words have influence with our mind as well AND with our actions.  So even if we take positive actions but continue to think and talk negatively, it will start to affect our actions.  They will become less positive and less powerful and once again our mind will brings things back to consistency.

So the real secret in the power of being positive is to combine BOTH positive thoughts and positive actions.  They influence one another and influence our mind as well.  When we are consistent in both thought and action this way, our mind can be more powerful.  Instead of having to sort through the inconsistencies of our thoughts and actions, the mind can spend time on other things like true creative thought and dreaming big dreams.

I’ll be writing all this week about positive thinking.  I invite you to share your thoughts, experiences, and even positive quotes that are meaningful to you.  Share what you know so we ALL can be more positive and more effective.

Change to positive thinking

Action Plan

  1. For at least the next 30 days, read or listen to something positive each day FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.  Studies have shown that what first enters our mind on the day has incredible influence over our day.
  2. What is one thing you have wanted to do but have not begun yet?  Write in down in detail on a piece of paper or on your computer or tablet.
  3. What one positive action can you take TODAY to begin?  It doesn’t have to be a big action, it just has to be positive and move you closer to the objective.  Make a point not to go to bed tonight without doing that.

Purpose at Our Core

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Purpose is the Foundation

Grad with no Purpose

Many years ago, I partnered with a good friend to start a career counseling business.  Now, we were not one of the “job in a drawer” places where someone just flips through the Rolodex and says, “here’s your perfect job!”  We actually worked with our clients to help  identify where they would be happiest and where they would be at their element.  Where they can be fulfilled and fit in.  We were trying to do something of significance, because so often we ran across people who really had no clue who they were or what they were designed to do.

Purposeless Education

Case in point.  One client comes in.  She has gone through college, went to medical school and became a doctor.  Went through residency.  At the end of residency, decided she did not want to be a doctor.  Went back to school and studied psychiatry.  Went through residency again.  Decided she did not want to be a psychiatrist.  Now, 30 years old and all that time and money spent in school and programs – all that knowledge and training – and she had no idea what she wanted to be.  Sitting in my office, tears and sobbing, she felt lost and that all was lost.  She had no idea where to go, what to do, how to make a difference.  She had no purpose.

We All Seek Purpose

She is not alone.  Too many are in the same place.  Not sure where to go or what to do.  Many times, they made decisions on what to do or what job to take or career to pursue based on someone else’s dream.  So they trudge along in a job they can’t stand, where they can’t wait for quitting time to come around or can’t wait until they hit retirement age and do something else.  But even retiring doesn’t solve the problem.  They still feel lost and without direction, they are just doing it from home instead of the office.  There are even studies to suggest that retiring leads to an earlier death.  I emphasized the suggest because it is far from conclusive.  Anyway, we are lost for most of our lives without purpose.

Benefits of Purpose

Purpose gives us positive emotions that bolster us.  We feel passion to drive us.  We feel emotional connection.  We feel satisfaction at having an impact.  We feel fulfillment at adding value to someone else.  Purpose does more than provide direction, it provides meaning and significance to our lives.  As a result, working to fulfill our purpose can lead to more profitability personally and corporately in part because we will have a more positive attitude.  That improved attitude will allow us to view the challenges of life in a different perspective.  Mountains become molehills, nothing seems insurmountable.  Sacrifice seems more temporary and more worthwhile.  We feel and see victory.

Do you know your purpose?  Do you really feel the significance of what you are doing, how it impacts others and adds value to them?  If not, know that IT IS NEVER TOO LATE to discover it.  At the same time, you don’t want to wait.  Some wait too late and miss the opportunity to discover and live that purpose.  As Oliver Wendell Holmes said,

Alas for those that never sing,
But die with all their music in them!

Some day may never come and the greatest tragedy of all isn’t taking a risk and losing it all, it’s going to the end of your life on earth with that song still in your heart.

Purpose Finds your heartIf you know your purpose, truly feel the passion that drives you, I commend you and hope that you are pursuing it on a daily basis.  Let me know how I can help you.

If you don’t know your purpose, make a commitment to start TODAY to begin the journey of discovery.  Don’t be afraid to seek help finding it.  Trusting a professional coach can help you accelerate the process and more accurately identify your purpose.  You would not be alone in this; a large number of successful corporate executives use coaches for this and other reasons.  However you do it, DON’T WAIT ANOTHER DAY!  Take that first step.  You can do this, it’s in you.  Let the song out.

Action Plan

  1. Sit down RIGHT NOW and do one of two things:
    1. If you know your purpose, list the things you need to do DAILY to live it.  Schedule time on your calendar to work it and commit yourself to the process.
    2. If you don’t know your purpose, commit to do something TODAY to start the process of discovery.  Not sure where to start or what to do, find a coach.  Do it now.

Risky Business: The Power of WHY

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Why Powers Risk

WHY Power WHY power makes us do things that others question.  It has been almost three years now since I took this very risky venture on several fronts.  I chose to work for myself instead of for someone else.  I chose to change my primary business from technical training and development to cultivating leadership and personal growth.  I chose to invest in being a Founding Partner in the John Maxwell Team and a certified leadership speaker/trainer/coach.  I chose to pour my resources into developing that business.  For a variety of reasons, it is still not a booming success but I know it is coming and continue to work towards that.

Why Powers Purpose?

The big question I usually get is WHY I chose to make the change to leadership development and fostering personal growth as opposed to sticking where I was with training and development consulting (I still do that by the way).  I can only say that it is the answer to that very same WHY that drives me. Over the years I have worked for several companies, large and small, and through that with many client companies.  A consistent issue I saw in many organizations is that there was plenty of management going on and very little leadership.  And there is a difference, which I have talked about in an Ah-Ha! Moment of the Week video.

And what I saw from this was that most of the problems of the organization was due to that lack of leadership.  I truly believe that

Everything Rises and Falls on Leadership

and that the level of effectiveness of leadership is what determines how a company succeeds and grows or withers and dies.  Small businesses today especially need to embrace this because in this hard economy it becomes real easy to lose vision what you are trying to accomplish and how you are going to get there.  You get lost in the trees of survival that you can no longer see the forest.  Then, when things do clear you are totally unprepared to take advantage of the growth opportunities before you.  I believe in small business and I believe in YOU and that’s the WHY that drives me every day! It’s why I became the TOP-LINE GUY to help you achieve BOTTOM-LINE RESULTS!

Action Plan

  1. What’s your WHY?  Is it specific?  Just making money is not enough; just serving people is not enough.  You need a WHY that will drive you through hard times.  A WHY that will compel you to take risks, financial and otherwise.  A WHY that will set the stage for you to swallow pride and independence enough to seek help to excel.  A WHY that will drive you to learn what you need to learn and gather who you need to gather.  A WHY that demands a legacy to go far beyond where you will ever take it.
  2. Write that WHY down.  Remind yourself of it every day.  Let it infiltrate your organization in the vision, in the mission statement, in the customer service, in employee relations; in everything you do.
  3. Not sure how to make all that happen?  Not sure of your WHY?  Seek a coach or partner who can help you identify it, define it, and live it.  There’s a reason that highly successful organizations have coaches; because that’s how they became highly successful organizations.

Turn the Airplane Around – A Change to Your Path

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Change of Mindset

Driving to a meeting this morning I was listening, as I usually do, to “Automobile University”.  If you haven’t done this, it’s a practice I highly recommend.  Instead of listening to local radio and hearing the same song five times in an hour or tuning in (bleah!) talk radio or the news, try instead taking advantage of that really nice CD player you have and pop in motivational stories or information.  I will alternately listen to audio with John Maxwell, Zig Ziglar, Jim Rohn, Les Brown, and the CD that comes in every issue of Success Magazine.  This is especially great for those who don’t have the time to read constantly (that pretty much covers all of us).  Positive, inspirational, motivational, and informative.  Great way to start off!

Flight Path Change

plane-taking-off Anyway, I was listening to Zig Ziglar tell an old familiar story, which I’ll retell from my perspective.

I boarded a plane at Orlando International Airport that was bound for Seattle, Washington with no stops.  The plane took off and after being in the air for about a half hour, it was no longer heading directly for Seattle.  The earth rotates, winds blow, all kinds of physical forces work against the plane heading straight for Seattle.  Don’t know where we are going, but it ain’t Seattle.  

So the pilot, wise man that he is, turns the plane around and heads back to Orlando, lands and starts all over again.

What?!

Of course he doesn’t!  He and the co-pilot simply make navigational adjustments to re-direct the plane back towards Seattle in mid-flight.  It would be silly and waste of time to head back and start all over again.

That’s the story of you and me.  When we attempt to get somewhere in life and accomplish something a monkey wrench gets thrown into the works.  It is inevitable that things will not go according to plan.  Too many times, the way that a person will try to solve that problem is by tossing the whole plan out the window and making a new; starting all over again.  It tends to be either/or; a change in the plan doesn’t enter our mind.

Change Your Plan

change the path to get to your destinationStop!  Think!

It’s not necessarily the whole plan, just parts of it.  Sometimes even it’s not the plan at all, just outside forces that interfere and cause a problem.  Instead of throwing out the whole plan, just make adjustments.  Don’t change where you want to go, simply change the path you will follow to get there.  Keep yourself directed, don’t lose sight of where you want to be!  The rocky path in front of us can distract us, but you need tunnel vision so you don’t accept anything other than the goal you wish to accomplish.

Action Plan

  1. Take a look at your goals and think about one that recently had a setback.  Did you toss out the plan?  Have you made a new one or abandoned the goal altogether?
  2. Re-focus.  Do you still want that goal?  What can you do differently to get there?  Is there something you can try that no one has tried before?  This is especially good when conventional methods aren’t working.
  3. Take the first step NOW!  When we take an immediate action, no matter how small, we increase the likelihood of success.

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