Tag: training

Are You Listening? Six Quick Tips to Be a Better At It.

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Effective Listening Helps the Bad Become Good and the Good Become Better

Are You Great at Listening?

employees not listening to bossMost people think they are great listeners. Multiple studies however have shown that many significantly overrate their ability to listen effectively.

So let’s start by making the concession that you likely believe you are a good or excellent listener.

Listening Quiz

It is probably a good idea to confirm that. Just to make sure. Answer this quick quiz to see how you rate. Answer each question with either Always, Sometimes, Rarely, or Never.

Be tough on yourself here with your ratings. If people have to ask you to pay attention to them, for example, then you would probably rate yourself low on #2 despite your strong feelings that you do pay attention.

  1. I allow a speaker to finish without interrupting
  2. I focus only on the speaker and avoid distractions
  3. I don’t get upset or agitated when when I disagree with the speaker
  4. I try to be interested in what the speaker is saying
  5. I work at retaining important facts from the speaker
  6. I repeat the details to make sure I understand them

Now, give yourself four points for each Always, three points for each Sometimes, two for each Rarely, and one for each Never.

Quiz Results

If you score below 18 points, then you likely are not as good a listener as you believe you are.

If you discovered you are not as good as you thought, you are in good company. As I mentioned earlier, most people feel they are good to excellent listeners but the studies show that actually almost all of us are poor listeners. It gets worse as we get older and has nothing to do with our physical abilities. It has to do with our environment.

We Are Not Naturally Good Listeners

listening earI freely admit that I am not naturally a good listener. Attribute that to whatever you want. That I like to talk and be heard. That I am often opinionated. Because I make assumptions and pursue them. Or simply that I think I know more than the speaker.

The biggest barriers to effective listening (particularly in the business community) are environmental distractions such cell phone, email, other demands for attention and preparing a reply to the speaker’s message. The second one is huge. Most of us feel we must reply immediately to whatever someone says. In fact, the late Stephen Covey once said

“Most people don’t listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply.”

Listening IS Learnable

Knowing that I am not naturally a good listener, I also know I need to intentionally work at listening more carefully and become better at it.

Perhaps that is the good news in all this. Whether you rated as a good or poor listener, it is simple (but not easy) to become a better listener than you are now.

[tweetthis]It is simple (but not easy) to become a better listener than you are now.[/tweetthis]

Critical Leadership Skill

As a leader, this is a critical skill. James E. Lillie, former CEO of Jarden Corporation, says it is THE MOST IMPORTANT SKILL a leader must have. So does current CEO Dave Abney of UPS. And former Amgen CEO Kevin Sharer.

What’s the value of listening for a leader?

  • Listening shows you care
  • It allows you to become engaged with your employees
  • It develops your empathy
  • It fosters understanding
  • You can develop your emotional intelligence
  • Listening builds trust

You can read more about the value of listening for leaders here.

So the excellent listener can become the excellent leader. It therefore pays to be intentional about our listening skills.

Six Quick Tips for Listening Better

That’s all well and good, but how do you go about becoming a better listener? Start by focusing on some basic techniques. Again, they are simple but not necessarily easy.

1. Keep Your Focus on the Speaker

Look at them. Make eye contact. It not only gets you to keep your attention on them but also allows you to pick up the non-verbal cues that add context and meaning to their words. A 1981 study showed that only 7% of our understanding comes from words. The rest comes from how we say it and the perception that comes from our interpretation of non-verbal behavior.

2. Avoid Distractions

Put your phone down or in your pocket. Turn away from the computer keyboard. Stop whatever else you were doing. People want to believe they can multi-task – that they can listen and do some work or check email at the same time – but the research actually tells us that we are ALL lousy multi-taskers. We aren’t designed for it. Pay attention to the person who is speaking.

3. Don’t Be a Distraction Yourself

For one, don’t interrupt. It shows a lack of respect for the speaker and what they have to say. Usually we interrupt because we are so anxious to insert our thoughts or opinions. As a result, we never fully understand the speaker’s intent.
Along the same lines, don’t change the subject. Hijacking their message to pursue something else again insinuates that their message – and by extension they – doesn’t matter.

4. Encourage the Speaker

Using small acknowledgements like “uh-huh!“, “I see.“, “go on“, “tell me more” and other similar interjections affirms to the speaker that we are listening and encouraging them to continue. If you are going to hear the message, why not hear all of it?

5. Manage Your Emotions

When we allow ourselves to react to words or thoughts, especially when they are counter to our own opinions, we significantly diminish our ability to understand. It’s kind of like a faucet handle. As we react emotionally, we turn that faucet handle and the flow of water becomes less and less until it is just a trickle. Then eventually not at all. Emotional content is necessary and so we need to be careful that it doesn’t overtake us.

If you want to see evidence of this, look at discussions of current events on social media like Facebook. Most participants react emotionally instead of responding thoughtfully. As a result, no one understands, no new thoughts are shared, and tensions run high. Friendships and connections are lost.

6. Confirm Understanding

Create a comprehension sandwich. When the speaker finishes, pause. Your first words after that should be “What I understand you to say is…” followed by a paraphrase of their message. Then finish by asking “Is that correct?” The lead-in helps set the stage that you are seeking understanding and not providing a counterpoint. The paraphrase helps to put it into your own words to internalize the message. The finish allows the speaker to confirm your understanding or improve your understanding.

For big bonus points, your next response after understanding is achieved is not to make a statement but to ask a question. It allows the speaker to further share their thoughts and your learn and understand even more.

Listening as Leaders

As a leader, we need information and input. We won’t get it when we are talking but get all we need when we are listening.

What listening skill do others praise you for? Which skill do you pride yourself on? Where do you need the greatest improvement?

Share your thoughts here or email me at psimkins@BoldlyLead.com.

If you email me you can also get a FREE copy of my e-book 15 Innovative Ways to Show Employees You Care Without Breaking the Bank. it provides some excellent proven methods for creating connections with your employees at minimal or no cost. If you want to start building engagement, you want this book to help establish those channels of caring.

Did Google Just Have a Major Leadership Fail?

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Does Leadership Promote Inclusiveness at All Costs?

Google took action on Monday to fire an engineer who expressed concern over some of Google’s policies. The employee posted a memo about gender balance and inclusivity. The CEO of Google, Sundar Pinchai, said that it the memo from the engineer expressed “gender stereotypes” that had no place in Google’s culture.

Leadership Considers All Angles

Before we condemn the engineer as racist and misogynist, it’s important to have a good picture of what as said. We also need to ask some serious questions that it brings up about company culture and expression of viewpoints.

The internal memo, written by engineer James Damore, was about 10 pages long and cited many sources. The content, minus some graphics, was posted by Gizmodo here. In the memo, titled Google’s Ideological Echo Chamber, Damore expressed concern that some of the policies of Google targeted towards diversity and inclusiveness possibly went too far. He focused primarily on gender differences. Damore considered whether they were perhaps trying to overcome natural differences in the sexes. He said, “We need to stop assuming that gender gaps imply sexism.” He cited sources that supposedly establish definitive differences that would prevent a perfect balance of sexes in some technical fields.

This is NOT About the Politics of Inclusiveness

I do not intend to debate the merits of diversity and inclusiveness, nor whether arguments against it are valid. In fact, Damore himself stated that he is not opposed to diversity in and of itself.

Damore’s biggest concern was while promoting diversity leaders may have actually created a culture of shaming that suppresses points of view contrary to leadership’s position.

He cited a political bias that on the one hand promoted freedom from offense and psychological safety while on the other hand shamed opposition into silence, providing the opposite of psychological safety.

Ideological Echo Chamber

google leadership in diversityThe result, Damore said, is an “ideological echo chamber” where some topics were too sacred to be discussed openly.

Further, according to Damore, is what happens is that Google resorts to discrimination the other way to battle perceived discrimination. Again, I don’t plan to debate that.

Danielle Brown, the new VP of Diversity, Integrity, and Compliance for Google, issued a response to Google employees in counterpoint to Damore’s memo. In it, Brown specifically said that the memo promoted “incorrect assumptions about gender”. The most compelling part of her response, and the most puzzling, was this:

“Part of building an open, inclusive environment means fostering a culture in which those with alternative views, including different political views, feel safe sharing their opinions. But that discourse needs to work alongside the principles of equal employment found in our Code of Conduct, policies, and anti-discrimination laws.”

Despite that, or perhaps because of that, on Monday it was announced that Damore was terminated by Google for “violating the company code of conduct” by “perpetuating gender stereotypes”. For Damore’s part, he is currently considering his legal options.

Employment at Will

Most states, including California where Google is located, are “employment-at-will” states however. That means, according to Jennifer Englert, Managing Partner of The Orlando Law Group, that

“..a company can fire you for anything as long as it is not a discriminatory reason. Many people get confused about what discriminatory reasons are but they would be discriminating based upon race sex pregnancy or a few other very limited protected classes. Your beliefs about these things and not agreeing with them are not considered discriminatory in most cases.”

So basically it appears that first amendment rights do not really exist in the workplace. Disagreeing with company policy doesn’t qualify you as being discriminated against, no matter how well-supported your thoughts (and I am not saying they necessarily are in this case).

What This Means for Leaders

For us, the real questions to explore here is to what level do leaders encourage or suppress opposing viewpoints on company policy? Where is the danger to the effective development of corporate culture? Does silencing one faction create a chilling effect for others?

Was Google right to terminate employment from a leadership standpoint? Is there a way it could have been handled better? How do we decide that free expression crosses the line into doing more harm than good in our work environment?

Share your thoughts here or email me at psimkins@BoldlyLead.com.

Seven Employee Engagement Myths that Kill Productivity

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Things Bosses Believe About Employee Engagement That Are Flat Out Wrong

employee engagement imageThere are some who readily embrace the concept of how critical employee engagement is to a productive workplace. Others have to first overcome some hurdles.

I hear it often – perhaps you have heard it too. Sometimes from “old school management” fans or simply those who refuse to let go of preconceived notions.

What holds them back are firmly held beliefs that, despite research proving them wrong, they refuse to release because it is all they know. It is myths about behaviors or people or management concepts that hold them back.

Here are some of the key myths.

Mindset or Culture Employee Engagement Myths

People Don’t Engage Because They Are Lazy

Lazy is a descriptive term we apply to someone who isn’t getting the work done. Yet in a article in Psychology Today, Laura Miller says that the problem is more avoidance behavior. In other words, some emotional issue is keeping them from taking action. She cites seven things that may be the real cause of an employee not getting the job done:

  1. Fear of Failure – Better to not try than to fail
  2. Fear of Success – What happens to my life if I succeed?
  3. Desire for Nurture – No one pays attention unless I mess up
  4. Fear of Expectations – If I do well, will the boss pile up the work?
  5. Passive-aggressive Communication – Avoid conflict, just do nothing
  6. Need for Relaxation – I really just need a rest
  7. Depression – I have a real problem here

lazy office worker

Some of these are rare, some not as rare as you might think. If an employee is not getting work done, you can be assured there is an issue and it’s not their work ethic.

That Generation Just Wants It All Handed To Them

This is typically targeted primarily at “Millennials” and sometimes at Generation X, the one before them. Millennials were born from 1982 to 2004, meaning some Millennials are in their lower 30’s now. Many believe them to be a lazy generation – that they just don’t want to work. Also that Millennials are so self-absorbed that they can’t fully engage at work.

In truth, most Millennials love to work!

They are passionate about achievement and significance.

What is different is how they get there. They want to be free to get to the end result their own way.

And they DO get results. They just don’t see the value of showing up just to show up.

“Those People” Just Don’t Work Hard

Some believe that specific ethnic cultures or impoverished cultures are naturally prone to avoid work or are too wrapped up in their families to be fully engaged.

Yet research by census and the Pew Research Center suggest otherwise, indicating they are no less engaged than any other ethnicity or social status.

Myths About Employee Engagement That Block Progress

Employee Engagement Should Be Checked Annually

Many organizations rely on the annual employee survey. With the trend emphasizing employee engagement, most have taken that survey and renamed it to the Employee Engagement Survey. Problem is, all they changed was the name. I wrote in detail about that in my blog Six Reasons Your Employee Engagement Survey Fails and What You Can Do About It.

The real test of engagement is ongoing and targeted. It’s also personal. Sending out a survey once a year, which gets about 10% response in a good year, doesn’t give you the real pulse. Neither does an annual employee review, which is typically one-sided. To get the real feel for where you are, you need to tap into the line managers and individual contributors frequently.

Sam Walton (Walmart) was famous for this. He would fly into a warehouse location or store location, hop into the passenger seat of one of trucks, and ride around and talk to the driver. He learned about what they felt, how things were going, and what they could do better. And he showed employees he cared about what THEY feel.

Employee Engagement Can Be Bought

This one just doesn’t seem to want to go away. It comes mostly from the sales angle, particularly among managers who believe that salespeople are entirely driven by money. They believe if they just create opportunities for more income then that’s all the incentive they need to engage people more. Maybe it works short-term for one person, but generally fails with the rest. It is then explained away as being the fault of the employees and not the program.

Surveys conducted on sales staff and other groups repeatedly show that money is not the primary motivator. In fact, it’s not usually in the top three.

Another way that managers attempt to buy engagement is by adding workplace features. It’s kind of like someone who tries to buy your love by constantly giving you things. Doesn’t work in personal relationships either.

There is a Standard Solution to Employee Engagement

This myth is perpetuated mostly by companies that want to sell you a solution.

This engagement survey will fix it. This software program provides the metrics you need. Purchase this benefits program. Buy the secret to our proprietary system that solves employee engagement forever! 

That works if your organization is just like every other organization and your employees are like everyone else. You and I know that’s not true.

Your situation is unique. It requires an innovative approach that is entirely yours.

It is highly unlikely you will be able to develop that on your own. You are too close to the equation. The right coach can help.

Employee Engagement is the End Game

Finally, it’s important to remember that our real goal here isn’t employee engagement. Our real goal is have one or all of these things:

  • A supremely productive workplace
  • Cohesive teams
  • Strong leadership
  • Reduced turnover
  • Higher customer satisfaction
  • Increased profits

Employee Engagement is a means to the end. You can’t have greater productivity without more engagement. And you haven’t really engaged them if they aren’t becoming more productive. It’s a symbiotic relationship.

Anything else is not productive.

What do you believe about employee engagement? What’s helped engagement efforts? What’s hurt?

Share your thoughts here or email me at psimkins@BoldlyLead.com

Are You Asking Questions of Yourself? Here is Why You Should!

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Your Best As a Leader Depends on Your Questions

We love answers! We want to know! Why has the term “Google It” become so popular? Because it is a quick and easy way to find answers. Type in a phrase or keyword and in a flash Google gives you results. Lots of results!

Outside of Google, how do we find the answers we seek?

We ask questions.

Questions Get to the Basics

When I took a class in journalism at the University of Central Florida (GO KNIGHTS!) they emphasized that a journalist always seeks to find answers to the certain details about a story. The answers are covered with the acronym WWWWWH. That’s Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How.

  • WHO is involved in the story?
  • WHAT happened?
  • WHEN did it happen?
  • WHERE did it happen?
  • WHY did it happen?
  • HOW did it happen?

If you answer those questions you have told the reader most of what they want to know. Everything else is details.

Applying Questions in Life

Questions Drive Creative SolutionsI’ve kept that idea and tried to apply it to my life. In general I try to use questions as much as possible to learn, to discover, and to get clarity.

Sometimes I ask those questions of others. Most of the time I ask them of myself.

As a leader, we need to question ourselves often. Not the questions of doubt and deceit. Those are the questions that are meant to tear down; to break down our confidence, destroy our purpose, and rationalize choosing the easier path.

The questions we need to ask are ones that build, that focus, that reinforce our confidence, reaffirm our purpose, and show us a path no matter the difficulty. According to John Maxwell, author of Good Leaders Ask Great Questions, asking questions provides several benefits:

  1. You Only Get Answers to Questions You Ask

    Seems obvious, right? But amazing how often we don’t ask questions about what we want or need to know.

  2. Questions Unlock and Open Doors that Otherwise Remain Closed

    Peter Drucker once said, “My greatest strength as a consultant is to be ignorant and ask a few questions.”

  3. Questions Are the Most Effective Means of Connecting With People

    Have you ever stopped to ask directions from a stranger, say when your GPS is lying to you? How many told you to go away without giving you directions? Not many I would bet. A simple question generates interest.

  4. Questions Cultivate Humility

    When I was fresh out of college with my degree, I felt I had to have all the answers so I never asked questions. The more I learned, the more I learned what I don’t know. Questions help me discover that even more but helps me learn faster.

  5. Questions Help You Engage Others in Conversations

    Look at talk show hosts. Their entire existence revolves around asking questions of celebrities to start a conversation.

  6. Questions Allow Us to Build Better Ideas

    What we discover from others leads to great things. When I work with clients I use this to help them improve their workplace.

  7. Questions Give Us Different Perspective

    When we want to do things differently we have to see things differently and overcome our assumptions.

  8. Questions Challenge Mind-Sets and Get You Out of Ruts

    We settle into the familiar. Asking questions like “why” and “why not” can disrupt our status quo.

Start with Questioning Yourself

I recently read a blog about the 11 Questions You Should Ask Yourself Every Day. It was impactful and insightful. Unfortunately, it is on a subscription service and I am not able to share it here. If you want to find it yourself, the subscription program is called Maximum Impact Mentoring.

That was 11 questions and that may seem a bit much. Most of us complain we don’t even have time for breakfast, much less time time to go through a bunch of questions every day. Eventually you want to get there but in the meantime…

Let’s Go Simple

The statesman and philosopher Benjamin Franklin has been said to guide his life by asking himself two questions. In the morning he would ask himself, “what good will I do today?” and then in the evening before going to bed he would ask “what good did I do today?”

Simple and if you think that’s enough for you, that’s great, go for it. If you want it more customized to your role as a leader, however, let’s try something else. For best results, I recommend keeping a journal. Use Evernote (my favorite), a diary app, or just a spiral notebook or composition book. Every day, set aside 5-10 minutes and ask these questions. Modify them based on whether you do this in the morning or evening.

  • What did I learn yesterday (today)?
  • How did I add value yesterday (today)?
  • Who do I need to recognize today (tomorrow)?
  • How will I focus on my strengths today (tomorrow)?
  • Who will I show appreciation to today (tomorrow)? 

Do you ask a lot of questions? How did not asking questions cost you? How can you make sure you lead with questions?

Share your comments here or email me at psimkins@BoldlyLead.com.

Why Employee Engagement is the New Black and How to Make it More Than a Fashion Trend

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The Number of Employee Engagement?

70

I seem to find that number a lot.

Preparing to write this, I do a Google Search for Employee Engagement and set search parameters to only list items posted in less than 24 hours. I get 70 results.

Employee Engagement is the new BLACK.

That’s why so many employee satisfaction surveys have been renamed to engagement surveys.

It’s why Engagement Software is becoming a new niche industry.

And then there is this. The other places where I see the number 70.

Survey Says

employee engagement imageA Gallup Survey shows that 70% of employees are disengaged or not fully engaged in the workplace.

Another study shows that 70% of customers leave because of poor customer experience. In other ways, they become disengaged.

In a large way, these were wake-up numbers for many. They may have looked at how they attempted to do more work with less people and found that actually they weren’t doing more with less. They were doing less. A Cornerstone study showed 68% less.

So the conclusion we can draw from all of this is that engagement is a critical factor. In fact, employee engagement has a direct relationship to customer engagement.

In fact, a 2016 study by the Temkin Group found that companies with a more engaged workforce scored significantly better on customer experience ratings than those with less engaged workforces. Customers with a great experience stay.

[tweetthis]Employee Engagement has a direct relationship to customer engagement. [/tweetthis]

More Than a Trend

So Employee Engagement is the new black. Or at the least the buzz phrase is.

Many organizations, however, don’t seem to really understand what engagement means. Let’s take a look at the data we shared above.

When we talk about customer engagement we also use the word “experience“. We worry about the customer experience because we know that a negative experience repels customers. Even one has a big impact. It’s recoverable, but only when we act to make it right.

We should also worry about the employee experience because it impacts THEIR engagement.

  • When we add to their workload because we eliminated the positions that used to do that job, we create a negative experience.
  • When we try to “keep them in their place”.
  • When we seek to “fix them” as a manager once requested of me.
  • When we create a culture that discourages independent thought, values youth over experience, values tenure over productivity, or values gender over contribution.
  • Even when we value customers over employees we create the negative employee experience that leads to disengagement that leads to negative customer experiences.

We create great customer experiences, however, when we focus on creating great employee experiences. We do that by creating a culture that both equips and encourages our employees to insist on their best and do what it takes to provide the superior customer experience.

A key word there is EQUIP.

You can’t expect a carpenter to drive a nail without a hammer (or nail gun today). It would be unreasonable to expect a cook to make breakfast without food supplies and kitchen tools. You can’t expect anyone to provide a great experience without having the tools.

What are some of the tools we need to provide for a great experience, whether for an employee or a customer?

  • Identified Core Values
    Make it clear what we stand for and what is non-negotiable in everything we do. For employees it helps them understand the guidelines under which they are to operate and interact with customers.
  • Communicated Expectations
    People work best when they know exactly what is expected of them. We establish that by constantly sharing our expectations in both our words and our actions, as well as letting them know what they can expect from us.
  • Personal Connection
    People want to know that they personally matter. She’s not employee #100.  She is Liza who makes a major contribution to our excellent customer service standards. He is not customer #347568.  He is Charles who has done business with us for the last three years.
  • Appreciation
    With that connection, they want to know that it makes a difference to you. Recognizing both informally and formally what someone does in the workplace on a daily basis shows appreciation for it. Reward what your desire. If you want consistent, above average performance, recognize it freely and frequently. If you want a customer to come back and buy again, show recognition for this visit. T-mobile thanks me for being a 15+ year customer every time I call them. It’s little yet goes a long way.

Is employee engagement more than just a buzzword in your organization? What are the things they do to prove that? What are some of the great experiences you have had? Share your thoughts here or email me at psimkins@BoldlyLead.com.

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